argument33 [kb9.11] 第1次作业

perfumedewUID: 2381489

33   The following report appeared in an archaeology journal.

"The discovery of distinctively shaped ceramic pots at various prehistoric sites scattered over a wide area has led archaeologists to ask how the pots were spread. Some believe the pot makers migrated to the various sites and carried the pots along with them; others believe the pots were spread by trade and their makers remained in one place. Now, analysis of the bones of prehistoric human skeletons can settle the debate: high levels of a certain metallic element contained in various foods are strongly associated with people who migrated to a new place after childhood. Many of the bones found near the pots at a few sites showed high levels of the metallic element. Therefore, it must be that the pots were spread by migration, not trade."

The report above written in an archaeology journal is initiated by narrating a mystery about how distinctively shaped ceramic pots at various prehistoric sites were spread over a wide area.  Then the report incites two controversial ideas to explaining the phenomenon of scattering broadly. By a series of attesting, the arguer is utterly convinced that the ceramic pots was transmitted by migration rather than trade.

However, the reporter was oblivious to take in consideration another possible alternative to the assumption that the bones found near the pots at a few sites originated from the same residence. It is likely that the kind of metallic element abounds in many separate regions apart with a long distance, and accordingly the pots at a few sites contained high levels of the certain metallic element. This kind of metallic element also could be possibly diffused with food including grains, vegetables, and thus people in different habitats formed the same diet mode.

On the other hand, the quantity of sites investigated by researchers is not sufficient to verify all the pots shows high content of the specific metallic element. Maybe the quantity of the sites receiving survey covers only a small portion of overall sites, not representing the truth requiring unveiled at all. In addition, even if the pots weren't spread by trade, it doesn't indicate that migration was the exclusive cause of a certain group of people having arrived the other regions. Maybe those people traveled here and there just for fun, and it can be also reasonable that people there was very militant and pugnacious, and consequently intruded many peacefully territories, but they were encountered with an unexplained lethal disease which led to their death not in the native area.  

Correspondingly, the reasoning behind concluding that the pots were spread by migration instead of trade seems logical as presented above since the researchers was avid to solve the controversy enduring for a long span of time. However, before any conclusions are made, the researchers should weigh all the factors scrupulously, avoiding perfunctory and hasty explanations.

[ 本帖最后由 perfumedew 于 2007-8-15 23:12 编辑 ]

wuyeUID: 2348444

The report above written in an archaeology journal is initiated by narrating a mystery about how distinctively shaped ceramic pots at various prehistoric sites were spread over a wide area.（我喜欢这句，保留） Then（个人希望不用）the report incites two controversial ideas to explaining the phenomenon of scattering broadly. By a series of attesting, the arguer is utterly convinced that the ceramic pots was（主谓不一致的问题下次不会说了，要用word 先查一遍，OK?）transmitted by migration rather than trade. (先赞开头，我永远写不出正常的开头，脑袋都被北美惯坏了)

However, the reporter was oblivious to (没看明白)take in（into）consideration another possible alternative to the assumption that the bones found near the pots at a few sites originated from the same residence. It is likely that the kind of metallic element abounds （喜欢的都变绿）in many separate regions apart with a long distance, and accordingly the pots at a few sites contained high levels of the certain metallic element. This kind of metallic element also could be possibly diffused with food including grains, vegetables, and thus people in different habitats formed the same diet mode. （个人感觉这句因果有问题）

On the other hand, the quantity of sites investigated by researchers is not sufficient to verify all the pots shows high content of the specific metallic element. Maybe the quantity of the sites receiving survey covers only a small portion of overall sites, not representing the truth requiring unveiled at all. In addition, even if the pots weren't spread by trade, it doesn't indicate that migration was the exclusive cause of a certain group of people having arrived at（我加的）the(删！) other regions. Maybe those people traveled here and there just for fun（太maybe了吧？）, and it can be also（交换位置） reasonable that people there was very militant and pugnacious, and consequently intruded many peacefully territories, but they were encountered with an unexplained lethal disease which led to their death not in the native area.  

Correspondingly, the reasoning behind concluding that the pots were spread by migration instead of trade seems logical as presented above since the researchers was avid to solve the controversy enduring for a long span of time. However, before any conclusions are made, the researchers should weigh all the factors scrupulously, avoiding perfunctory and hasty explanations.（这样说不对，你这个分句明显是表目的的，所以应该用 to avoid）

总评：
      用词巨好，偶像！
      思路不但清晰而且很连贯，我觉得很成气候了！
      谋篇布局真的不俗，不像是北美派的，应该是范文派，我也应该好好研究范文下了~

P.S.为什么没来开会呢？到现在连一句话都没有说~
有空聊聊！在我qq上留言加我，我可是给你操刀的人呢！

[ 本帖最后由 wuye 于 2007-8-16 00:34 编辑 ]

perfumedewUID: 2381489

真的过奖了，这仅是我的第一篇argument,也没看多少范文，写了有一个小时 ……