Issue36 [0806G-desperado小组]第一次作业

gaojiehahaUID: 2149729

------题目------
The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.
------提纲------
总论点:虽然在有些领域里成功是可以由同时代的人来定夺的,但总的来说,一个真正的伟大的人是能经历时间的考验.
1.在有些领域,比如商业,科技,成功是可以由同时代的人来承认的.
商业:亚洲的李嘉诚是个成功的典范,由一个穷苦的孩子成长为一代富商.
科技:杂交水稻之父,研制的杂交水稻,水稻产量翻几翻,解决了一些国家饥荒问题
2.这些领域的成功能被同时代的人承认是因为他们所做的成绩能对当代的生活产生影响,人们能切生感受到他们的付出为社会带来的变化.
3.在有些领域,比如科学,艺术,我们当今敬佩的成功人士生活的十分潦倒.
科学:哥白尼,
艺术:梵高
4.这些领域的伟大只能由后人定论,因为他们的思想超于他们这个时代.这个时代思想的局限性使得同时代的人都不能接受他们的思想.
5.总的来说,历史有去伪存真的能力.真正的成功能经历时间的考验.

写的汗都要流下来了，大冬天的，唉！实在是写不出来，没办法，好不容易凑了400字。恶心大家乐，真不好意思。:loveliness:

------正文------（403 words）
Is the greatness of individuals decided by history or by the present age? I agree that in some fields people's achievement can be recognized by their contemporaries. Nevertheless, I think that true great men are recognized and understood through those who live after them.

The success determineted by their contemporaries mostly happened in business and in technologies. The reason is that contributions in these fields are clear at a glance. As for business, for instance, the greatness of the Asia's richest man K.S. Li came to be fully realized since he start from scratch and is most influence in the size of companies, political power and influence to affect the areas of public welfare and social contributions. Regarding the later, Father of Hybrid Rice, Longping Yuan, a Chinese agricultural scientist and educator, known for developing the first hybrid rice which has since been grown in dozens of countries in Africa, America, and Asia —providing a robust food source in high famine risk areas.

Simply put out, because the achievements they have made to contemporary life can have an immediate effective to the society, and people could felt these change, so the success in these areas can be recognized by contemporary people.

When it comes to the science, or arts, many of the great figures that we admire today died in obscurity. For example in science, Nicolaus Copernicus was the first astronomer to formulate heliocentric cosmology. However, Since Copernicus's theory violated the doctrine of Christianity, after three centuries of arduous struggle it finally recognized by the community. Additionally, in arts, one of the most influcial artist Van Gogh, impoverished in all his life and committed suicide, shook people's minds and  won critical praise for imaginative paintings after he died.

It is difficult to identify the greatness without the historical assisstence. One of the most important reasons that these areas can only be understand by future generations might be that great people usually go ahead of their times. Limitations of people's mind in this era make contemporary ones cannot accept great men's thoughts. The other is that many truth are need to be proved by time.

In whole, although some influential individuals, especially in business and in technology, were recognized as great during their own times, I think many other greatness need a very long period for later generations to confirm for history has a knack for peeling away  to focus on real accomplishment.

[ 本帖最后由 gaojiehaha 于 2007-12-8 14:42 编辑 ]

绿松石UID: 2427549

我觉得思路没什么问题，逻辑结构是很清楚地。一段写例子一段论述的方式也听不错的，不用那么担心啊 挺好的

[ 本帖最后由 绿松石 于 2007-12-8 19:13 编辑 ]

hongdanUID: 2228730

Is the greatness of individuals decided by history or by the present age? I agree that in some fields people's achievement can be recognized by their contemporaries. Nevertheless, I think that true great men are recognized and understood through those who live after them.

The success determineted（determined） by their contemporaries mostly happened in business and in technologies. The reason is that contributions in these fields are clear at a glance. As for business, for instance, the greatness of the Asia's richest man K.S. Li came to be fully realized since he start from scratch and is most influence in the size of companies, political power and influence to affect the areas of public welfare and social contributions. Regarding the later, Father of Hybrid Rice, Longping Yuan, a Chinese agricultural scientist and educator, known for developing the first hybrid rice which has since been grown in dozens of countries in Africa, America, and Asia —providing a robust food source in high famine risk areas.

Simply put out, because the achievements they have made to contemporary life can have an immediate effective to the society, and people could felt (feel) these change(changes), so the success in these areas can be recognized by contemporary people. （这段太短了，是前一段的解释，是否详细一些更好）

When it comes to the science, or arts, many of the great figures that we admire today died in obscurity（词好！）. For example in science, Nicolaus Copernicus was the first astronomer to formulate heliocentric cosmology. However, Since Copernicus's theory violated the doctrine of Christianity, after three centuries of arduous struggle it finally recognized by the community. Additionally, in arts, one of the most influcial（influence） artist Van Gogh, impoverished in all his life and committed suicide, shook people's minds and  won critical praise for imaginative paintings after he died.（这句话写梵高好像没有很好写清楚，应该把没被同时代人认可指明一下吧。而且，直接写一句话就引入例子说理感觉不是很强）

It is difficult to identify the greatness without the historical assisstence（assistance）. One of the most important reasons that these areas can only be understand by future generations might be that great people usually go ahead of their times. Limitations of people's mind in this era make contemporary ones cannot accept great men's thoughts. The other is that many truth(truths) are need to be proved by time.（感觉这一段跟前一段的联系不是很紧密，解释原因解释的不清楚）

In whole, although some influential individuals, especially in business and in technology, were recognized as great during their own times, I think many other greatness need a very long period for later generations to confirm for history has a knack for peeling away  to focus on real accomplishment.

就我的感觉，这篇文章提纲挺清晰，思路挺好，就是写整篇文章时感觉展开的不够。说理性的语句不是很具说服力。
语句之间的关联词用得不多，语句间的衔接欠缺一些。大多数是一个一个的独立句子，如第五段。
只能改这些了，我也感觉要文章句子衔接得好很难，写一篇文章真的好难。
一起努力了！

yzhxinerUID: 2422010

Is the greatness of individuals decided by history or by the present age? I agree that in some fields people's achievement can be recognized by their contemporaries. Nevertheless, I think that true great men are recognized and understood through those who live after them.

The success determineted by their contemporaries mostly happened in business and in technologies. The reason is that contributions in these fields are clear at a glance. As for business, for instance, the greatness of the Asia's richest man K.S. Li came to be fully realized since he start(时态不对) from scratch and is most influence in the size of companies, political power and influence to affect the areas of public welfare and social contributions. Regarding the later, Father of Hybrid Rice, Longping Yuan, a Chinese agricultural scientist and educator, known for developing the first hybrid rice which has since been grown in dozens of countries in Africa, America, and Asia —providing a robust food source in high famine risk areas.

Simply put out, because the achievements they have made to contemporary life can have an immediate effective to the society, and people could felt these change, so the success in these areas can be recognized by contemporary people.

When it comes to the science, or arts, many of the great figures that we admire today died in obscurity. For example in science, Nicolaus Copernicus was the first astronomer to formulate heliocentric cosmology. However, Since Copernicus's theory violated the doctrine of Christianity, after three centuries of arduous struggle it finally recognized by the community. Additionally, in arts, one of the most influcial artist Van Gogh, impoverished in all his life and committed suicide, shook people's minds and  won critical praise for imaginative paintings after he died.

（缺连接词）It is difficult to identify the greatness without the historical assisstence. One of the most important reasons that these areas can only be understand by future generations might be that great people usually go ahead of their times（这个句子从句套从句，是不是把其中一个从句改称短语或者其中一个不要用that从句？）. Limitations of people's mind in this era make contemporary ones cannot accept great men's thoughts. The other（加个宾语会好些吧） is that many truth are need to be proved by time.

In whole, although some influential individuals, especially in business and in technology, were recognized as great during their own times, I think many other greatness need a very long period for later generations to confirm for history has a knack for peeling away  to focus on real accomplishment.

这篇文章逻辑方面不错，就是语言上需做修改。汗，偶只改出来这些。
赫赫，如有异议，要跟我联系哦？

gaojiehahaUID: 2149729

在dan和馨儿的修改下，以及我通过dan，馨儿和绿松石习作得到的启发，重新整理了这篇文章。思路要清晰多了，句子的连贯性也好了些。语言可能不是一两天的事情吧（仍然需要提高）。不管怎么说，加入这个小组，我完全深刻的感受到加入组织的温暖。谢谢大家！希望有兴趣的人可以对这篇修改稿再提意见，非常感谢。

Is the greatness of individuals decided by history or by the present age? I agree that in
some special fields people's achievement can be recognized by their contemporaries.
Nevertheless, I think that true great men should be recognized and understood through those
who live after them.

The success determined by their contemporaries sometimes happened in business and in
technologies. The reason is that successors' contributions to the development of society or
settlement of community's problems are clear, obvious and facial. No deep evidence, proof,
or reasoning is required by later generations. As for business, for instance, the greatness
of K.S. Li, one of the Asia's richest man, came to be fully realized now-as it is happening
in many aspects, including help recover the Hongkong's economy, affect the areas of public
welfare and social contributions. Regarding the later, Father of Hybrid Rice, Longping Yuan,
a Chinese agricultural scientist and educator, is known for developing the first hybrid rice
which soon provide a robust food source in in high famine risk areas and in dozens of
countries,such as in Africa, America, and Asia.

Simply put out, because some achievements they have made to contemporary life can have an
immediate effect to the society, and people could feel these changes and benefit from these
results, so the success in these areas can be recognized by contemporary people. In other
words, these findings are relevent to our daily life tightly. On contrary, many abstruse
works beyond common people's recognition, such as theoretical researches, are not so lucky
to be confirmed by the public.

Specifically, when it comes to the arts, many of the great figures that we admire today died
in obscurity. For a typical example, one of the most well-known artist Van Gogh, who shook
people's minds and  won critical praise for imaginative paintings by later periods,
impoverished in all his life and never received any acceptance by his peers. Either delayed
minds of the masses in the Van Gogh's era, or Van Gogh's thinking go ahead of his times,
cause the greatness of such kind individuals only can be confirmed by later era when the
people's mind can match the leader's mind.

Additionally, besides the reason mentioned above, another situation also impede the
contemporary to identify the greatness: it is that sometimes new ideas destroyed the
public's original customed viewpoints, faith; Or sometimes new concepts threat the higher
classes's already grasped authorities, thus neither the public nor the authorities would
like to accept the greatness of individuals. For example, Copernicus was the first
astronomer to formulate heliocentric cosmology. However, Since Copernicus's theory violated
the doctrine of Christianity, until three centuries of arduous struggle it did not
recognized by the community. To conclude, it is also difficult to identify the greatness
without the historical assistance.

In whole, although some influential individuals, especially in business and in technology,
were recognized as great during their own times, I think many other greatness need a very
long period for later generations to confirm for history has a knack for peeling away  to
focus on real accomplishment.

yzhxinerUID: 2422010

赫赫，真快，内容增了很多阿，赫赫，等我把自己的修改完再仔细看看

hongdanUID: 2228730

内容增加了很多呀，很有进步，呵呵。速度好快呀，向你学习了。呵呵