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Although antibiotics seem(to)take positive effect in the study, it cannot conclude that all patients with muscle strain should take antibiotics as part of treatment since the study itself is not as convincing as it states, and also other treatments and factors are not considered in the statement.(很简洁,感觉比北美范文式的开头好多了,向你学习)
First of all, when we are informed that there are two groups of patients are participated in the study, the arguer fails to make clear(好) the relevant information of these patients in each group, such as ages, health conditions and backgrounds. If the information in the two groups has great differences, then the result of study is doubt at best. For example, one group's patients are healthy athletes while the other group’s patients are poor-health-condition old ages, the recovery period of two groups would be not the similar even if both group do not give antibiotics.
Even assuming that the conditions of patients in two groups are nearly the same, the study amounts to scant evidence support that healing quickly in one group attributes to antibiotics. It is entirely possible that the doctor's treatment and expertise are all contribute to the healing time. Perhaps Dr. Newland is good at curing muscle strain than Dr. Alton because Dr. Newland is specializes in sports medicine and Dr. Alton is just a general physician. Additionally, it is possible that sugar pills have bad effect on patients so that patients who were given sugar pills recover from illness more slowly. Without giving rid of these factors, I cannot accept the author's viewpoint about antibiotics.
At last, even if antibiotics play a vital role in helping heal quickly, it need not to suggest every patient who are diagnosed with muscle strain take antibiotics as part of their treatment. First, not all patients with muscle strain will have secondary infection, so not all patients need to take antibiotics. Second, in addition to infections, other factors may prevent patients from healing quickly. For instance, over tired, malnutrition and so on. In these cases, good rest and nutrition are better than antibiotics for patients. Third, antibiotics might have side effect to patients, such as allergy. Thus, antibiotics is possible(possibly) not suitable for all patients.
In all, the argument based on a study could provide information for muscle strain healing. Before conclusion about what kind of people should take antibiotics, a more complete understanding and evidence of the antibiotics and the study are needed. After all, a mistake use of antibiotics could be dangerous for patients.(这句我喜欢) 我觉得这篇文章写得很好,不愧是研究了官方范文的结果。条理很清晰,开头就给你耳目一新的感觉,简洁直接,结尾也很干脆,最后一句更是有力度。可能还需改进的就是错误分析,分析可以稍微深入些,不是简单的列可能性。这也是我在学习的。向你学习,研究官方范文,总结自己的argu模板。
还有,总体感觉你的argu进步更大。呵呵 |