argument53[Jet小组第五次作业]

huangli711UID: 2451421

ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.

字数：505      时间：00：45：00
In this argument, the arguer claims that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and his shyness continues into later life. To illustrate this assertion, one research was studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress and might be influenced by melatonin, which is a hormone and would increase in response to decreased daylight. In my observation, this conclusion runs contrary to the overwhelming evidence.

First, no evidence could illustrate the mild distress is equal to shyness as the author asserted in this passage. Even one shy boy might appear distress more frequent than others, but in some special time, a normal person also would feel stress, such as when he feels embarrass or when he is lying. So, it is not a strange view that one baby who live in the world only a few days and the only one he has been familiar with might just his parents. When five or six strangers came into his house, like the researchers who are interviewing his mother or looking at him, make the surrounding different with one he is fitted to, one little child, of course, if there is nothing superior to do for him, must feel stressed and showed signs of mild distress. So that would be a hasty conclusion that identify these 25 infants shyness， just from the little mild distress showed on their faces.

Second, follow-up study conducted earlier this year, in which more than 50perent of these children appeared sort of shyness ，which is the exact example to support what the arguer asserted in this passage, but for itself, questionable apparently. 25 infant is absolutely a small survey, and it might be neglected when one research need mach convincible evidence to prove, so that is beyond of enough and it is possible to be a happenchance while other survey study’ s results are totally contrasted. Besides, even if this 25infants’ study could support this in quantity, it is far away from enough to support that in quality. Admittedly, one study about the human being should consider the variety of ethnic, because there might be different causes to explain one question. Such as shyness that is once mentioned in the passage, with different culture, Asian would be more shy than American. If this study is carried in Asia, and that is equal to all the 12 to 13 shy infants are all Asian children, who is endowed with shyness, how could this result illustrate the conclusion that is melatonin would influence the mild distress? Additionally, sex, age, family and environment the babies live in should be taken into consideration as a carful survey.

To strengthen this conclusion, the arguer should complete this survey in details and some necessary qualification, for instance, the sample quantity and quality, the overcast of responses. And a clear study of how the melatonin influence brain functions and affect whether the infant shows mild distress when he faced an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice.

teeweeUID: 2456185

In this argument, the arguer claims that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and his shyness continues into later life. To illustrate this assertion, one research was studied.(已经是两句话了) In the research a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress and might be influenced by melatonin, which is a hormone and would increase in response to decreased daylight. In my observation, this conclusion runs contrary to the overwhelming evidence.
开头段。

First, no evidence could illustrate the mild distress is equal to shyness as the author asserted in this passage. Even one shy boy might appear distress more frequent than others, but in some special time, a normal person also would feel stress, such as when he feels embarrass or when he is lying. So, it is not a strange view that one baby who live in the world only a few days and the only one he has been familiar with might just his parents. When five or six strangers came into his house, like the researchers who are interviewing his mother or looking at him, make the surrounding different with the one he is fitted to, one little child, of course, if there is nothing superior to do for him, must feel stressed and showed signs of mild distress. So that would be a hasty conclusion that identify these 25 infants shyness, just from the little mild distress showed on their faces.
轻微的紧张不等于害羞。

Secondly, follow-up study conducted earlier this year, in which more than 50perent(50 percents?) of these children appeared sort of shyness, which is the exact example to support what the arguer asserted in this passage, but for itself, questionable apparently. 25 infant is absolutely a small survey, and it might be neglected when one research need mach(much) convincible evidence to prove, so that is beyond of enough(远不够？) and it is possible to be a happenchance while other survey study’ s results are totally contrasted. Besides, even if this 25 infants’ study could support this in quantity, it is far away from enough to support that in quality. Admittedly, one study about the human being should consider the variety of ethnic, because there might be different causes to explain one question. Such as shyness that is once mentioned in the passage, with different culture, Asian would be more shy than American. If this study is carried in Asia, and that is equal to all the 12 to 13 shy infants are all Asian children, who is endowed with shyness, how could this result illustrate the conclusion that is melatonin would influence the mild distress? Additionally, sex, age, family and environment the babies live in should be taken into consideration as a carful survey.
后续研究不能证明害羞会延续。

To strengthen this conclusion, the arguer should complete this survey in details and some necessary qualification, for instance, the sample quantity and quality, the overcast of responses. And a clear study of how the melatonin influence brain functions and affect whether the infant shows mild distress when he faced an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice.
结尾段。

写得很好啊。向你学习。^_^
revised by wangzexun@56#jet

[ 本帖最后由 teewee 于 2008-2-13 20:11 编辑 ]