Issue144 【7\8\9\10】作文小组 第四次作业 7.24

tsayUID: 2492916

   Is it the artist or critic who give society something of lasting value ?As far as I am concerned,  the artist and critic both have provided society lasting value.
First of all, critic ,in some aspects ,have created something of lasting value .The work of critic is always valuable ,and in some circumstance --especially in literature, have made up with the deficiency of artist's work and even elevate  to a new level the work of artist. Consider the novel Hong Lou Meng (dream of red chamber) ,which is one of most popular works in all Chinese literature. Post prior to it, the works of critic have continually appears and added some new elements and have transcended ,most Chinese artists agree  ,especially in the individual idea and perspective, the original work .
    Without the critical, it's impossible for the society and audience to understand and appreciate the significance of these famous art . Just as A diamond ,without  the one's selection and burnishing , would be a common stone forever. Considering Vinsent Van Gagh ,the postimpressionism painter ,whose painting recently have brought record prices in auction .Without the critic, who studies specifically these elliptical painting work, these invaluable paintings might have to still find no more appreciative audience  nowadays than during his lifetime, when nearly no one could understand and recognize the famous artist.
    Overstate of the critical, however, would do harm to creation of true art, which is ,most artists contend, production of their passion ,create of their spirit and  manifestation of their unique creative impulse. On the one hand, the art work ,which manifests artist' individual and innovative, very likely might not be recognized since no one would understand it, if these talents  fear and stop the working , the true art , would never be completed and  available .Put another way, if it's shaped only considering the feedback of critical , it inevitably becomes a illegible production or commodity, but would cease to a true art at them same time. The movie ,Tv television and music  ,for example, now have emphasized more and more on the audience rating aided to which the company or movie and television even modify the scenario in light of requirement and taste of audience and critical. The result is that the movies and Television ,processed in such a way, inevitably become not a true art but a commercial production, notwithstanding the very claim ,from these company ,that they are art of literature .
   In conclusion,  the lasting value of art calls for involving of both artist and critical. Without critical , the society and audience would not understand and appreciate the true art-let alone the lasting value. without the understanding and appreciation ,these art work might not be valuable. On the other hand, Overstate of these critical will lead to the work of aritst to be viable craft other than true art.

lisheng19881108UID: 2358622

Is it the artist or critic who give society something of lasting value ?As far as I am concerned,  the artist and critic both have provided society lasting value.
First of all, critic ,in some aspects ,have created something of lasting value .The work of critic is always valuable ,and in some circumstance --especially in literature, have made up with the deficiency of artist's work and even elevate  to a new level the work of artist. Consider the novel Hong Lou Meng（红楼梦用英语说是A Dream in Red Mansions (The Story of the Stone) (dream of red chamber) ,which is one of most popular works in all Chinese literature. Post prior to it, the works of critic have continually appears and added(时态不一致) some new elements and have transcended ,most Chinese artists agree  ,especially in the individual idea and perspective, the original work .（也许这么长的插入语可能是好的语法，可是我读起来总觉得别扭，希望指正哈）    Without the critical, it's impossible for the society and audience to understand and appreciate the significance of these famous art . Just as A diamond ,without  the one's selection and burnishing , would be a common stone forever. Considering Vinsent（Vincent） Van Gagh(Gogh) ,the postimpressionism painter ,whose painting recently have brought record prices in auction .Without the critic, who specifically studies these elliptical painting work, these invaluable paintings might have to still find no more appreciative audience  nowadays than during his lifetime, when nearly no one could understand and recognize the famous artist.    Overstate of the critical, however, would do harm to creation of true art, which is ,most artists contend, production of their passion ,create of their spirit and  manifestation of their unique creative impulse.(我看这样的句子真的很吃力) On the one hand（On one hand）, the art work ,which manifests artist' individual and innovative, very likely might not be recognized since no one would understand it, if these talents  fear and stop the working , the true art , would never be completed and  available .Put another way, if it's shaped only considering the feedback of critical , it inevitably becomes a illegible production or commodity, but would cease to a true art at the same time. The movie ,Tv television and music  ,for example, now have emphasized more and more on the audience rating aided to which the company or movie and television even modify the scenario in light of requirement and taste of audience and critical. The result is that the movies and Television ,processed in such a way, inevitably become not a true art but a commercial production, notwithstanding the very claim ,from these company ,that they are art of literature .(我不知道你是不是故意用这样的倒叙加插入语还是GRE就这样要求但我读真的挺别扭)   In conclusion,  the lasting value of art calls for involving of both artist and critical. Without critical , the society and audience would not understand and appreciate the true art-let alone the lasting value. without the understanding and appreciation ,these art work might not be valuable. On the other hand, Overstate of these critical will lead to the work of aritst to be viable craft other than true art.
首先文章的思路是清楚的你说艺术家和评论家都很重要但是你太过于强调评论家应该多写点艺术家的好处还有就是句式句式要求变化担不是难懂（可能是我的水平有限哈，仅仅个人意见）。你可以多采用一点丰富的语句来增加你文章的可读性有一点很值得我学习就是你的个人模板很好结尾也很好