issue6 同主题,迟到的作业,仔细修改过

fircattyUID: 166248

6 the most effective way to understand contemporary culture is to analyze the trends of its youth.
放弃限时，例子吧，不知道合不合适，欢迎狠批~~欢迎留连接~~

How could we fully understand contemporary culture? Some people consider that the conception of contemporary culture is equal to that of the young, and analyzing the trends of the youth is the most effective way to understand contemporary culture. But as far as I am concerned, it is too hasty to say so.

I concede that studying the trends of the youth serve as an effective way to understand some parts of contemporary culture. The young, who are always on the crest of the cultural wave, are inclined to attempt and accept any kind of new things and set new trends in society. With the increasingly more coorperation and communication between different countries in many fields, the foreign culture are inevitably infused into the tradional culture, which violently change the values and attitudes of young people. For example, it is common to see young people wearing jeans of which the knees are deliberately cut, and the young dying hair in various colors can also be found in the streets, either of which can obviously tell us that we are in the society emphasizing the individuality. Thus, it is sometimes useful to determine contemporary culture through the young.

However, analyzing the trends of the youth cannot be the most effective method when we investigate the contemporary culture. Culture is a continual system, handed down from one generation to another, and the absolutely separate culture do not existed. Therefore, if we want to thoroughly understand the up-to-date culture, we have to turn to the culture in other times. For instance, Tang clothes, clothes people wore in the Tang dynasty in China, are popular these years. Common people wear Tang clothes to celebrate festivals, presenters wear Tang clothes when they present some entertaining programs, and even the leaders wear Tang clothes when they attend some informal meetings. Under the curcumstances, we can know about the reason of the phenomena by referring to the history rather than studying the trends of the youth.

Further, the effect produced on the contemporary culture by the middle-agers and the elders cannot be overlooked. Culture is the integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief and behaviour. Young people are just a part of social group and exploring merely the young is far from gaining a comprehensive view of the contemporary culture. It is apparent that people’s habits, hobbies and values differ greatly in various ages. The examples can be easily seen in our daily lives. The young prefer to listen songs with a swift rhythm while the old would like to listen songs with a slow rhythm. The young always enjoy doing sports new and exciting while the old tend to paticipate moderate sports. Therefore, it is sensible to take not only the young but also the middle-agers and the elders into consideration when to study the contemporary culture.

Admittedly, analyzing the trends of the young can effectively help us to understand contemporary culture to some extent. But it is not the most effective method. In order to get a comprehensive understanding of contemporary culture, we have to study the trends of all age and even refer to the history at times.

chenda8201UID: 171368

6 the most effective way to understand contemporary culture is to analyze the trends of its youth.
放弃限时，例子吧，不知道合不合适，欢迎狠批~~欢迎留连接~~

How could we fully understand contemporary culture? Some people consider that the conception of contemporary culture is equal to that of the young, [这样写实在不敢苟同。。。题目根本没有涉及到说consider that the conception of contemporary is equal to that of the youth，而即使承认后面的analyzing the trend of the youth is the most effective way的观点，也不会导出前者啊。。。 ] and analyzing the trends of the youth is the most effective way to understand contemporary culture. But as far as I am concerned, it is too hasty to say so.
[it is too hasty to say so, 那么你的观点大概就是不同意，可是这样写其实很不明确，人家也模不着，是否可行？值得商榷！]

I concede that studying the trends of the youth serve as an effective way to understand some parts of contemporary culture. [effective与most effective的区别到底多大；个人以为这里这样的区分法不好说清楚。。。；建议换个其他词来说吧，用个与most effective 的区分度较明显的词组～] The young, who are always on the crest of the cultural wave [这句话貌似看过，小心被判雷同啊。。。], are inclined to attempt and accept any kind of new things and set new trends in society. With the increasingly more coorperation [cooperation] and communication between different countries in many fields, the foreign culture are inevitably infused into the tradional [traditional] culture, which violently change the values and attitudes of young people. For example, it is common to see young people wearing jeans of which the knees are deliberately cut, and the young dying hair in various colors can also be found in the streets, either of which can obviously tell us that we are in the society emphasizing the individuality [emphasizing the individuality 跟 the trends of youth或the youth 有直接关系吗？]. Thus, it is sometimes useful to determine contemporary culture through the young. [用sometimes感觉不好，整句改成 Thus, to some extent, it is useful to determine contemporary culture through the young.]
[这一段的topic sentence 我认为不好；然后举例了，可是没把道理说清楚，扯到什么emphasizing the individuality上，有些远了吧。。。]

However, analyzing the trends of the youth cannot be the most effective method when we investigate the contemporary culture. Culture is a continual system, handed down from one generation to another, and the absolutely separate culture do not existed. [呵呵，你这里讲的是纵向，culture cannot be separated absolutely；而你在看过的我的习作中的注解中说到这点，可是我那里是横向的对culture进行分类，youth culture这个notion是已经有的～] Therefore, if we want to thoroughly understand the up-to-date culture, we have to turn to the culture in other times [turn to the culture in other times什么意思，没看明白哦～]. For instance, Tang clothes, clothes people wore in the Tang dynasty in China, are popular these years. Common people wear Tang clothes to celebrate festivals, presenters [presenter推荐者？] wear Tang clothes when they present some entertaining programs, and even the leaders wear Tang clothes when they attend some informal meetings. Under the curcumstances [circumstances], we can know about the reason of the phenomena by referring to the history rather than studying the trends of the youth.
[wearing Tang clothes is the fashion of our society in recently year, which is none of business about history. 唐装虽然是历史上的唐朝衣服款式，可现在的人们穿它与历史没什么太大的关系，虽然的确有的，但这里都没有点明。所以最后的那一句说要referring to the history有些唐突了；不过思路还是好的，懂得在例子说完后要做点论证来支持Topic sentence~]

Further [Furthermore], the effect produced on the contemporary culture by the middle-agers and the elders cannot be overlooked. [看这句话，突然觉得作者好像把纵向和横向的culture给混淆在一起了；按照ages考察的culture是横向的；而上面提到的history是纵向的] Culture is the integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief and behaviour [behavior]. Young people are just a part of social group and exploring merely the young is far from gaining a comprehensive view of the contemporary culture. It is apparent that people’s habits, hobbies and values differ greatly in various ages. The examples can be easily seen in our daily lives. The young prefer to listen songs with a swift rhythm while the old would like to listen songs with a slow rhythm. The young always enjoy doing sports new and exciting while the old tend to paticipate [participate] moderate sports. Therefore, it is sensible to take not only the young but also the middle-agers and the elders into consideration when to study the contemporary culture.

Admittedly [In sum], analyzing the trends of the young can effectively help us to understand contemporary culture to some extent. But it is not the most effective method. In order to get a comprehensive understanding of contemporary culture, we have to study the trends of all age and even refer to the history at times.
[既然是understand the contemporary culture，需要refer to the history at times吗？这点值得讨论！结尾最后一句看起来总算是提出作者的viewpoint了。。。是否一开始就点明会好些呢？]

[总的来说，全文逻辑有些奇怪，大概就是因为作者反对题目的most effective但认为还是effective，这样由于most effective 与effective 的区分度不够明显，作者没能将其表达清楚；然后题目说到youth，那么讨论的过程中就会涉及到other age group，而作者还扯进一个history来，这显然同题目所要讨论的不合拍吧，且题目说得就是contemporary culture，从这点看也是不需要refer to the history吧]

[对于这些看法，作者有什么想说的吗？～^_^]

fircattyUID: 166248

哇，一片蓝~~~
感谢感谢
我先仔细消化一下
完了帖我的看法
继续关注哦
再次深鞠躬~

chenda8201UID: 171368

Originally posted by chenda8201 at 2005-7-12 23:09
[总的来说，全文逻辑有些奇怪，大概就是因为作者反对题目的most effective但认为还是effective，这样由于most effective 与effective 的区分度不够明显，作者没能将其表达清楚；然后题目说到youth，那么讨论的过程中就会涉及到other age group，而作者还扯进一个history来，这显然同题目所要讨论的不合拍吧，且题目说得就是contemporary culture，从这点看也是不需要refer to the history吧]

刚才看到一个提纲，与你的思路极为相似。。。

Originally posted by alcestis at 2005-7-11 13:50
用的修锐上课的思路 他因法
提纲：
1 分析年轻人可以帮助我们了解当代文化
2 分析中年人老年人可以帮助了解当代文化   
3 了解历史也可以是我们了解当代文化
因此，了解年轻人并非唯一途径
——————— ...

看了这个中文提纲，倒也不错
不过，从英文的习作中可能由于表达上的问题，没看懂～



.

fircattyUID: 166248

先解释一下大的情况：

既然是understand the contemporary culture，需要refer to the history at times吗？这点值得讨论！

这一点主要是针对第三段，举例唐装那个，所以总结时加了历史。
我上过修锐的课，不过他说的提纲我都忘得差不多了
你说的有道理，唐装盛行和历史有什么关系我没有说清楚，其实是自己硬想的例子。你说

唐装虽然是历史上的唐朝衣服款式，可现在的人们穿它与历史没什么太大的关系，虽然的确有的

是什么？可以说说么？

另外，我对文章的突破点其实是用了修锐的方法。题目有一个绝对性的词，most，所以就是反驳这个，是effective的，但不是most effective，因为还有别的途径。

G10T5UID: 2101393

写的比我爽，我对于这种题目就只会干喊口号了，举不出例子。郁闷

How could we fully understand contemporary culture? Some people consider that the conception of contemporary culture is equal to that of the young青年文化代表了当代文化，这样说是不是好点, and analyzing the trends of the youth is the most effective way to understand contemporary culture. But as far as I am concerned, it is too hasty to say so.

I concede that studying the trends of the youth serve as an effective way is beneficial toto understand some parts of contemporary culture. The young, who are always on the crest of the cultural wave, are inclined to attempt and accept any kinds of new things and set new trends in society. With the increasingly more coorperationcooperation and communication between different countries in many fields, the foreign culture areis inevitably infused into the tradional culture, which violently change the values and attitudes of young people. For example, it is common to see young people wearing jeans of which the knees are deliberately cut, and the young dyingdyeing hair in various colors can also be found in the streets, either of which can obviously tell us that we are in the society emphasizing the individualityemphasizing the individuality is a character of contemporary culture. Thus, it is sometimes useful to determine contemporary culture through the young.

However, analyzing the trends of the youth cannot语气是不是太强呢？ be the most effective method when we investigate the contemporary culture. Culture is a continual system, handed down from one generation to another, and the absolutely separate culture do not existedexist. Therefore, if we want to thoroughly understand the up-to-date culture, we have to turn to the culture in other times. For instance, Tang clothes, clothes people wore in the Tang dynasty in China, are popular these years. Common people wear Tang clothes to celebrate festivals, presenters wear Tang clothes when they present some entertaining programs, and even the leaders wear Tang clothes when they attend some informal meetings. Under the curcumstancesthese circumstances, we can know about the reason of the phenomena by referring to the history rather than studying the trends of the youth.it is history rather than the studying of the young's trends that reveals the reason of the phenomena

FurtherFurthermore, the effect produced on the contemporary culture by the middle-agers and the elders cannot be overlookedignored. Culture is thea integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief and behaviours. Young people are just a part of social group and exploring merely the young is far from gaining a comprehensive view of the contemporary culture. It is apparent that people’s habits, hobbies and values differ greatly in various ages. The examples can be easily seen in our daily lives. The young prefer to listen songs with a swift rhythm while the old would like to listen to listen 不要songs with a slow rhythm. The young always enjoy doing sports new and exciting while the old tend to paticipate moderate sports. Therefore, it is sensible to take not only the young but also the middle-agers and the elders into consideration when to study the contemporary culture.

Admittedly, analyzing the trends of the young can effectively help us to understand contemporary culture to some extent.to some extent 提前 But it is not the most effective method. In order to get a comprehensive understanding of contemporary culture, we have to study the trends of all age and even refer to the history at times. 不要at times

fircattyUID: 166248

[emphasizing the individuality 跟 the trends of youth或the youth 有直接关系吗？]

如果我改成either of which can obviously tell us that one trend of youth is emphasizing the individuality是不是能说清楚点了？

[turn to the culture in other times什么意思，没看明白哦～].

求助于以前的文化

[presenter推荐者？]

主持人，呵呵，昨天红宝刚刚背到的单词~

看这句话，突然觉得作者好像把纵向和横向的culture给混淆在一起了；按照ages考察的culture是横向的；而上面提到的history是纵向的

这其实是另一个论点

结尾最后一句看起来总算是提出作者的viewpoint了。。。是否一开始就点明会好些呢？]

是，我主要是不想开头和结尾都重复的用一句话，所以。。。
而且开头复述了题目，所以就像简单带过去，哎。。。
还是要把TS放在开头。

关于为啥要refer to history,我真的是强词夺理，所以一开始就心虚，说不知道例子咋样。一点都想不起修锐说得了。郁闷.......
我刚刚下了素材库里的why to study history，希望能有点启示。。。

fircattyUID: 166248

谢谢阿~
我惭愧中。。。。
那么多错字怎么没检查出
为啥我的word是不管怎么写都没有红道道绿道道的那种？？？哎，对不起群众对不起党
例子都是我瞎编的~~~~~
你有作文连接吗？

G10T5UID: 2101393

工具-〉选项-〉拼写和语法
在Word中设置后，就会检查拼写和语法了。