Issue11 感觉有点绝对了

xiaowenzi118UID：202887

11"All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."


With the trend of globalization, nations are more connected to each other. They face the same problems and the well-being of one country is depended on the others. In order to bring about a better world, some people give the proposition of establishing a global university to solve the world's most persistent social problems. As for me, if come true, it is really a good deed, however, according to current situations, it could only be a utopia.

Admittedly, it is fascinating if all nations could support the development of a global university to solve similar social problems. After all, in today's “earth village”, nations are facing same social problems all day and one nation's well-being is closely connected with the others. Industrialization not only brings us development in our nations but also leave serious global environment problems to us, like global warming, ozone depletion, etc. Recently, the terrorism threatening American also brought harm to London rightly after it won the right to become host of the Olympics. And taking a further look into other countries, like Russia, Spain and China, we could be surprise to find that the craw of terrorism has reached everywhere. Finding an efficient way to solve such kind of social problems is a must and corporations are indispensable. A global university, if come true, could really be a good choice.

However, according to current situations, to build such a university could be a utopia at best. In the first place, although all nations are suffering from similar social problems, their priorities are different. While Some African countries might care more about get their countries out of poverty, the Americans think more about fighting against terrorism and some Asian countries could take solving the problems of population explosion as their priority. Therefore, when the University is founded, it could be difficult to decide which problems should be solved first. Furthermore, sometimes, solving social problems in some countries may bring harm to others. When some African or South American countries want to solve the poverty problems at the expense of deforestation, the destruction of these tropic rainy forests cause harm to the whole biosphere of the world and directly put other countries into serious troubles. The third problem involves the funds. It is clear that who give the most funds to the university could actually benefit more from it. Therefore, who actually control the university could be a highly debated issue and could lead to unfairness to some poor countries. Therefore, as different countries have different situations, the difficulties of achieving absolute fairness could render the global university to be only a utopia. To solve these social problems, mutual understanding and corporations between nations as well as help from the developed countries to the poor seem to be more practical.

In sum, although building a global university sounds to be fascinating, it could hardly come true in today's world because of the possible unfairness. In order to solve the global social problems, we should enhance corporations as well as mutual understanding between nations.

观点有点绝对了,不知还能不能再平衡一下,也不能说是Utopia吧:L:L

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-29 at 13:08 ]

chunziUID：2108612

有些语句典型的Chinese English
Admittedly, it is fascinating if all nations could support the development of a global university to solve similar social problems.
改成：No doubt about it, if nations could act in concert and establish global universities, the world's most persistent social problems might be sovled effectively.

第三段能不能分开论述，把第二段放在结尾之前。


用词较为准确，但句型不必过长。如As for me, if come true, it is really a good deed, however, according to current situations, it could only be a utopia.这句话让人读的时候，觉得很散。


顺便问一下，是限时的吗？

GladysryUID：198609

我也来看看。等一会儿~


汗~偶知道为什么楼上只是小改了，xiaowenzi 你写得很不错。我用语方面本来就很菜，所以指不出什么毛病。从逻辑和结构上说，是没有什么问题的。就是觉得第二段说得太多了，如果减一些可能的好处和背景需要。把第三段分成几个你提出的小论点多发挥一下，会让论证看起来更丰满一些。

嗯哪，其他的，就没什么了~:)

[ Last edited by Gladysry on 2005-7-29 at 20:57 ]

xiaowenzi118UID：202887

多谢鼓励！

mkb57288UID：2105771

With the trend of globalization, nations are more connected to each other. They face the same problems and the well-being of one country is depended on the others. (开头我的意见总是不要先交代背景，因为阅卷人肯定更希望马上找到你的态度，当然这个观点也可以商榷，可是觉得这儿像94一样又借用了另一篇文章:))In order to bring about a better world, some people give the proposition of establishing a global university to solve the world's most persistent social problems. As for me, if come true, it is really a good deed, however, according to current situations, it could only be a utopia.

Admittedly, it is fascinating if all nations could support the development of a global university to solve similar social problems. After all, in today's “earth village”, nations are facing same social problems all day and one nation's well-being is closely connected with the others. Industrialization not only brings us development in our nations but also leave serious global environment problems to us, like global warming, ozone depletion, etc. Recently, the terrorism threatening American also brought harm to London rightly after it won the right to become host of the Olympics. (这一句从例子到语言确实都不错)And taking a further look into other countries, like Russia, Spain and China, we could be surprise to find that the craw of terrorism has reached everywhere. Finding an efficient way to solve such (kind of删) social problems is a must and corporations are indispensable. A global university, if come true, could really(help) be a good choice.

However, according to current situations, to build such a university could be a utopia at best. In the first place, although all nations are suffering from similar social problems, their priorities are different. While Some African countries might care more about get their countries out of poverty, the Americans think more about fighting against terrorism and some Asian countries could take solving the problems of population explosion as their priority. Therefore, when the University is founded, it could be difficult to decide which problems should be solved first. (可以把这一段的几层意思分开独立成段)Furthermore, sometimes, solving social problems in some countries may bring harm to others. When some African or South American countries want to solve the poverty problems at the expense of deforestation, the destruction of these tropic rainy forests cause harm to the whole biosphere of the world and directly put other countries into serious troubles. The third problem involves the funds. It is clear that who give the most funds to the university could actually benefit more from it. Therefore, who actually control the university could be a highly debated issue and could lead to unfairness to some poor countries. Therefore, as different countries have different situations, the difficulties of achieving absolute fairness could render the global university to be only a utopia.(如果这一段是事先没有提纲限时写成的，思维确实不错，强！) To solve these social problems, mutual understanding and corporations between nations as well as help from the developed countries to the poor seem to be more practical.

In sum, although building a global university sounds to be fascinating, it could hardly come true in today's world because of the possible unfairness. In order to solve the global social problems, we should enhance corporations as well as mutual understanding between nations.

JianchuanUID：2121431

不知楼主什么时候上战场..?
楼主也看看我的好了. 限时完成的, 没怎么改, 不要笑话啊..
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ighlight=issue%2B11

随之而来的是一个问题: 楼上的感觉是好几个国家一起建个大学, 我读着觉得是一个国家建一个... 不知楼主怎么看..

xiaowenzi118UID：202887

那样就没有help可言了吧,而且本人认为就更不现实了! Utopias