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frankskyUID: 187253

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Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.

The author's statement that education will be truly effective only when it is specially designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student overrates the importance of consideration for students; there is another assertion which contrasts with the statement above that education should provide spare parts for society regardless of individual needs and interests. The former is a high-road which is impossible to put into practice while the latter is a low-road that has been criticized and already outdated. Education plays a significant part in contemporary society, what's more, it becomes more and more important for the development of technology which can be conducive to better living conditions. Hence, the progress of technology and society calls for a balance of the high-road and low-road. As a student majored in education, I believe that people should come to a middle road.

In the first place, according to the study of an education research institution, the ability of the majority children to learn new knowledge almost remains at the same level, and also some basic courses such as verbal, maths require all students to acquire, therefore, it is possible and also reasonable to supply them with some same curriculums. Meanwhile, in order to cultivate children better and let them involve in the educational process positively, the educators should take the need and interest of individual students into account, not only to attract their attention and encourage them to study but also to develop their particular interests which may become his/her profession one day in future. Admittedly, to meet the individual needs and interests of each student calls for a significant devotion of time, thus, a great number of extra teachers are required; the ratio of faculty/student might be 1:1, which is beyond the ability of every kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, college, and graduate school to support so huge a faculty. It is totally a waste of teaching resources which can be allocated more properly and be made best use of.

Another important point is that What the purpose of the education is, and thus what kind of education is truly effective? This question is so controversial that it has been argued through history and continues to be debated nowadays and may be till future but without any certain answers; though educators in different times express their distinguished contentions that were discussed and revised with the development of society, there is still no certain answers which can be admitted by the majority. In modern society, General Education(whose opposite is Special Education) which aims for cultivating citizens instead of professionals for society gradually become common sense in many countries such as China, the USA, some European countries, and so on. According to its original purpose, such citizen is with an open and critical mind, mercy for the poor and the unfortunate, and also a responsible sense for society; he/she intends to acquire new knowledge, criticizes the received information instead of accepts it blindly, expresses his/her pity and provides help, and is responsible for his/her duty rather than goldbricking. According to the above, educators can declare that the education is successful and thus effective in some sense as long as it meets such need to cultivate citizens for society .

The purpose of education alters with the change of social needs instead of remaining the same all the times, therefore, the standard to evaluate whether the education is effective or not is unfixed. Hence, it maybe become true that the main purpose of education is to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, however, it is necessary even indispensable for education to take social needs into consideration.

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pigeonsnoopyUID: 2111116

The author's statement that education will be truly effective only when it is specially designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student overrates the importance of consideration for students;这句话还是不要照抄原题的好，可以略微换一下词语，看过以前一些版主改的文章，都建议不要重复原题呵呵 there is another assertion which contrasts with the statement above that education should provide spare parts for society regardless of individual needs and interests. 这也是，把needs和interests change一下The former is a high-road which is impossible to put into practice while the latter is a low-road that has been criticized and already outdated. Education plays a significant part in contemporary society, what's more, it becomes more and more important for the development of technology which can be conducive to better living conditions. Hence, the progress of technology and society calls for a balance of the high-road and low-road. As a student majored in education, I believe that people should come to a middle road.
注意一下不要抄原题就ok了，另外，你提到的技术进步以及生活水平的提高我不太明白和教育之间是什么联系呢？还有那三种road我也不太明白

In the first place, according to the study of an education research institution, the ability of the majority children to learn new knowledge almost remains at the same level, and also some basic courses such as verbal, maths require all students to acquire,这有点别扭，不应该说courses requir students to acquire吧，是不是可以说students are required to learn... therefore, it is possible and also reasonable to supply them with some same curriculums. Meanwhile, in order to cultivate children better这个better有点别扭 and let them involve in the educational process positively, the educators should take the need and interest of individual students into account, not only to attract their attention and encourage them to study but also to develop their particular interests which may become his/her profession one day in future. Admittedly, to meet the individual needs and interests of each student calls for a significant devotion of time, thus, a great number of extra teachers are required; the ratio of faculty/student might be 1:1, which is beyond the ability of every kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, college, and graduate school 这么多学校放一起会有种凑字数的感觉，而且都是教育机构，不妨说from kindergarten to graduate school 你说呢？to support so huge a faculty. It is totally a waste of teaching resources which can be allocated more properly and be made best use of.

我觉得这段的一个问题就是层次不是很清楚，你先说应该supply the same courses,又说应该satisfy students' interests,又转折说这样不好，可能会让reader confused.


Another important point is that What the purpose of the education is,后面用问号，is应该放前头吧 and thus what kind of education is truly effective? This question is so controversial that it has been argued through history and continues to be debated nowadays and may be till future but without any certain answers; though educators in different times express their distinguished contentions that were discussed and revised with the development of society, there is still no certain answers which can be admitted by the majority. In modern society, General Education(whose opposite is Special Education) which aims for cultivating citizens instead of professionals for society gradually become common sense in many countries such as China, the USA, some European countries, and so on. According to its original purpose, such citizen is with an open and critical mind, mercy for the poor and the unfortunate, and also a responsible sense for society; he/she intends to acquire new knowledge, criticizes the received information instead of accepts it blindly, expresses his/her pity and provides help, and is responsible for his/her duty rather than goldbricking. According to the above, educators can declare that the education is successful and thus effective in some sense as long as it meets such need to cultivate citizens for society .

The purpose of education alters with the change of social needs instead of remaining the same all the times, therefore, the standard to evaluate whether the education is effective or not is unfixed. Hence, it maybe become true that the main purpose of education is to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, however, it is necessary even indispensable for education to take social needs into consideration.

呵呵，倒数第二段看的不是很仔细，其中有些语法错误你再仔细看看
先说说文章结构吧，你在题中的态度不是很明确，我觉得你是想说依情况而定吧，但是你的文章对于这种依情况而定说得很模糊，这样就会让人觉得你似乎没有观点，尤其是你后面提到的the purpose of education 在开头没有提到，这样突然出现会让人觉得思路一下子乱了，可以看一下你的提纲吗？
语言上的问题，一方面是句子结构有些简单，不过这个也不是很重要，毕竟是逻辑写作，有一点就是重复使用的词语有些多，可以适当作一些同义词替换
最后一段简单句有些多，可以试着合成复合句的

有的地方说得也不是很对，继续切磋了，加油！！！！

orange83UID: 2127694

Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.

The author's statement that education will be truly effective only when it is specially designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student overrates the importance of consideration for students;// 句子长得可怕！！不要为写长句而写// there is another assertion which contrasts with the statement above that education should provide spare parts for society regardless of individual needs and interests. The former is a high-road which is impossible to put into practice while the latter is a low-road that has been criticized and already outdated. //什么叫‘high-road’,’low-road’啊？//Education plays a significant part in contemporary society, what's more, it becomes more and more important for the development of technology which can be conducive to better living conditions. Hence, the progress of technology and society calls for a balance of the high-road and low-road. As a student majored in education, I believe that people should come to a middle road. //你的观点来得太迟了吧。。。说了这么一大段才说出自己的观点，而且你后面写作的时间不会很紧张吗？我觉得开头应该简洁，表明自己观点，然后尽快进入论述阶段//

In the first place, according to the study of an education research institution //education research institution?? 有这样的表达吗？//, the ability of the majority children //majority 本身是个名词，怎么可再跟一个名词呢？//to learn new knowledge almost remains at the same level, and also some basic courses such as verbal, maths require all students to acquire, therefore, it is possible and also reasonable to supply them with some same curriculums. Meanwhile, in order to cultivate children better and let them involve in the educational process positively, the educators should take the need and interest of individual students // each student // into account, not only to attract their attention and encourage them to study but also to develop their particular interests which may become his/her profession one day in //the// future. Admittedly, to meet the individual needs and interests of each student calls for a significant devotion of time, thus, a great number of extra teachers are required; the ratio of faculty/student might be 1:1, which is beyond the ability of every kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, college, and graduate school // 有必要列举这么多种类的学校吗？//to support so huge a faculty.// to support such a huge faculty 会不会好点？// It is totally a waste of teaching resources which can be allocated more properly and be made best use of.

Another important point is that What the purpose of the education is, and thus what kind of education is truly effective? This question is so controversial that it has been argued through history and continues to be debated nowadays and may be till future but without any certain answers; though educators in different times express their distinguished contentions that were discussed and revised with the development of society, there is still no certain answers which can be admitted by the majority. //句子很长，但是对support your idea意义不大// In modern society, General Education(whose opposite is Special Education) which aims for cultivating citizens instead of professionals for society gradually become common sense in many countries such as China, the USA, some European countries, and so on. According to its original purpose, such//such 指代不清// citizen is with an open and critical mind, mercy for the poor and the unfortunate, and also a responsible sense for society; he/she intends to acquire new knowledge, criticizes the received information instead of accepts it blindly, expresses his/her pity and provides help, and is responsible for his/her duty rather than goldbricking. //你讲purpose 又是一大段，但是对于支持你的观点真的一点用都没有阿。。。。不要为了凑字数，写点实在的东西吧//According to the above, educators can declare that the education is successful and thus effective in some sense as long as it meets such need to cultivate citizens for society .//这一段你的意思是大众教育是主流，所以教育不应该转为每个人而设计。但是你只谈到了前者怎样怎样，却完全没有涉及教育如何设计的问题哦。。。改改吧//

The purpose of education alters with the change of social needs instead of remaining the same all the times, therefore, the standard to evaluate whether the education is effective or not is unfixed. Hence, it maybe become true that the main purpose of education is to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, however, it is necessary even indispensable for education to take social needs into consideration. //你前文给人感觉是反对作者的观点，怎么总结的时候竟然同意了。。。。//

说实在，这篇文章不怎么样，希望你不要介意。太多废话，真正论证的东西没多少，感觉实在凑字数而不是在论证你的观点。而且最后结尾是在一大败笔，竟然出现与前文观点不一的错误，看看别的文章，重新写一篇吧