argument65 奶酪问题，回拍留连接(sally)

sallyxinduUID: 2131253

65The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.
"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
提纲，
1，        去年一年的销售情况不具有代表性，也许去年对外贸易政策不利于进口，也许国内商品去年价格低廉，也许去年在搞爱国活动以支持国内经济。
2，        世界杂志的调查结果不具有普遍性，也许受调查者主要是喜欢国内产品的人群，也许真正喜欢购买奶酪的人不喜欢被采访
3，        人们购买的数量只是公司增加利润的一个因素，还有其他原因比如单位奶酪的利润，公司上缴的税等等
4，        即使W的居民的确喜欢购买国产奶酪，也不代表所有地方的人都喜欢国产奶酪
正文
at first glance, the argument seems to be plausible with regard to some premises(such as the best-seller list of last year in W, the investigation poll of World magzine and so forth) the arguer presents to back up his ratiocination, Upon a closer inspection, however, some fallacies hidden in the disguise of the arguer’s analysis will be unveiled since he or she fails to take into consideration other variables which carry weight in the underlying occasion of the argument.

At first place, the selling record of last year in W is not representative enough to be relied on as a means to justify the superiority of demestic cheese. There lies the possibility that some other exterior factores having some bearing on the seemly good selliing record of demestic cheese but these factors may be not available in other year other than last year. Say, maybe the foreign trade policy of last years are not conducive to the imported products including cheese, it’s also possible that manufacturers purposively cut down the price of domestic cheese as a vehicle to stimulate consumption, moreover, we either cannot exclude the probability that W hold a multitude of sales promotion activities of home-making cheese so as to attract consumers and eventually propel domestic economy. If all the assumed conditions turn out to be the case, it cannot be denied that ,more often than not, people would choose domestic cheese rather than foreign ones in order to benefit from the temporal condition.

What’s more, investigation-receivers’ preference of home-making cheese is not the equivalance of the marjority’s tasty inclination. In this sense, the developer furnishes us with no solid evidence to explain the concrete investigation proceture to us. Consider, it’s possible that advocates of imported cheese are not included in the survey, it’s also possible that the stanch cheese-likers are tired of this kind of survey and a prevalance of them are imported cheese buyers. With the presence of these likelihood, domestic cheese stands more chance to rank high in the poll of World magazine.

In addition to this, the author fails to consider other alternatives which bear the immediate interest to the profit of a cheese company rather than the number of comsumers. In most event, the tax imposed on cheese factories, net profit per cheese and so on are bound to influence the final profit of a company. Let’s make a hypothesis here, if the selling quanity of cheese is on the increase but the tax the company have to pay and the net profit per cheese are too high to be supplemented by the prevalence of selling quantity, would the company win great profit?

Last but not least, concession granted that people in W are more likely to buy domestic cheese, and we admit that the profit the company gains by selling domestic cheese is much higher than by selling imported cheese, we still cannnot bracket the prosperity of domestic cheese in W along with the prevalent worldwild condition. Objectively, the arguer should analyze the concrete consumption situation in every place listed on the cheese stores’ chain business operation before declaring that domestic cheese stands more chance to be chosen by customers as their predilection in every chain store throughout the US. It’s inextricable that there lies the likelihood that imported cheese sells better than domestic ones in the rest chain stores but that in W.

To sum up, having viewed all the aspects above, we feel no difficult to draw the conclusion that the developer’s ratiocination holds water because he ignores other concomitant negative selling condition in places beside W, also, he fails to take into calculation some culprits that would attribute to the downside of domestic cheese. Consequently, it’s highly recommendable that the arguer investigate the problem in a more all-rounded perspective before making the suggestion that cheese company should discontinue stocking imported cheese as a way to reduce it’s expense and therefore to increase its profit.

汗～～写得太多了，严重超时１７分钟，一定得压缩下～～
欢迎大家指教拍砖头，小女子先谢过了

宝贝小猪UID: 2135340

看了一下你的啊狗
跟安安说的一样，果然是一个大牛
嘿嘿
，在语言方面我没有什么说的，应该仰视一下
关于结构方面，我觉得如果啊狗在写的时候把每一个问题都写的话
肯定很长，时间也不够，所以我觉得是不是应该选择重点的逻辑错误来分析
我觉得一般写三点错误就够啦，
还有我觉得你的啊狗写的有点像issue的风格了，看了看北美范文，大多数例文都是先提出逻辑错误在说说可能出现的原因，但是你有太多的分析，这个可能占了比较大的篇幅……
我觉得适当的分析就行了
这些只是鄙人的一些小小的看法，不知道对不对，不过你可以保留你自己的意见哦
ps：改你的作文真的是很困难……嘿嘿，是不是在哪里听说过这句话？hoho

Archer1123UID: 206148

argument65 奶酪问题，回拍留连接(sally)

65The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.
"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
提纲，
1，        去年一年的销售情况不具有代表性，也许去年对外贸易政策不利于进口，也许国内商品去年价格低廉，也许去年在搞爱国活动以支持国内经济。
2，        世界杂志的调查结果不具有普遍性，也许受调查者主要是喜欢国内产品的人群，也许真正喜欢购买奶酪的人不喜欢被采访
3，        人们购买的数量只是公司增加利润的一个因素，还有其他原因比如单位奶酪的利润，公司上缴的税等等
4，        即使W的居民的确喜欢购买国产奶酪，也不代表所有地方的人都喜欢国产奶酪 w是指Wisconsin吗？我理解题目里的w是在newest store （不一定就是在w啊）卖的最好的国产奶酪是来自于w，而不是说w的居民喜欢购买国产奶酪
正文
at first glance, the argument seems to be plausible with regard to some premises(such as the best-seller list of last year in W, the investigation poll of World magzine magazine and so forth) the arguer presents to back up his ratiocination, .小地方还是不能忽略哦，呵呵 Upon a closer inspection, however, some fallacies hidden in the disguise of the arguer’s analysis will be unveiled since he or she fails to take into consideration other variables which carry weight in the underlying occasion of sally很喜欢用这个短语，呵呵 the argument. 不用说出author’s conclusion吗? 这种开头方式，不确定是否可以

At first place, the selling record of last year in W is not representative enough to be relied on as a means to justify the superiority of demestic domestic cheese. There lies the possibility that some other exterior factores factors having some bearing on the seemly good selliing selling record of demestic domestic cheese but these factors may be not available in other year other than last year 这句话好像有点问题，…possibility that后面but前面句子不完整。Possibly, some other exterior factors… domestic cheese maybe not available…. Say, maybe the foreign trade policy of last years are not conducive to the imported products including cheese, it’s also possible that manufacturers purposively cut down the price of domestic cheese as a vehicle to stimulate consumption, moreover, we either cannot exclude the probability that W hold a multitude of sales promotion activities of home-making cheese so as to attract consumers and eventually propel domestic economy. If all 不用all, any of 就可以了啊 the assumed conditions turn out to be the case, it cannot be denied that, more often than not, people would choose domestic cheese rather than foreign ones in order to benefit from the temporal condition. 这句话感觉说得太复杂了，呵呵，…case, the condition of good sale on domestic cheese could not last in future.

What’s more, investigation-receivers’ preference of home-making cheese is not the equivalance equivalence of the marjority’s majority’s tasty inclination. In this sense, the developer developer? furnishes us with no solid evidence to explain the concrete investigation proceture procedure to us. Consider, it’s possible that advocates of imported cheese are not included in the survey, it’s also possible that the stanch cheese-likers are tired of this kind of survey and a prevalance prevalence? of them are imported cheese buyers 这点好像和上一句有点重复，意思都是说调查未包括喜欢imported cheese 的人（无论是主办方遗漏了还是他们不愿参加调查）. With the presence of these likelihood, domestic cheese stands more chance to rank high in the poll of World magazine.

In addition to this, the author fails to consider other alternatives which bear the immediate interest to the profit of a cheese company rather than the number of comsumers consumers. In most event, the tax imposed on cheese factories, net profit per cheese and so on are bound to influence the final profit of a company. Let’s make a hypothesis here, if the selling quanity quantity of cheese is on the increase but the tax the company have to pay and the net profit per cheese are too high to be supplemented by the prevalence of selling quantity, would the company win great profit?

Last but not least, concession granted that people in W are more likely to buy domestic cheese, and we admit that the profit the company gains by selling domestic cheese is much higher than by selling imported cheese, we still cannnot bracket the prosperity of domestic cheese in W along with the prevalent worldwild worldwide condition. Objectively, the arguer should analyze the concrete consumption situation in every place listed on the cheese stores’ chain business operation before declaring that domestic cheese stands more chance to be chosen by customers as their predilection in every chain store throughout the US 这句话换个方式表达比较好，lacking of the concrete consumption situation in every place where lies the cheese chain store, the arguer’s declaration is too presumptuous that…/ lacking of…, we have good reason to doubt the domestic cheese stands more chance to be chosen by customers in every chain store throughout the US. 个人感觉这样比较像argu，好像用在结尾段建议作者如何做比较好. It’s inextricable that there lies the likelihood that imported cheese sells better than domestic ones in the rest chain stores but that in W.

To sum up, having viewed all the aspects above, we feel no difficult to draw the conclusion that the developer’s ratiocination holds water hold water不是“合理，讲得通吗”？漏掉否定了吧？ because he or she ignores other concomitant negative selling condition in places beside W, also, he fails to take into calculation some culprits that would attribute to the downside of domestic cheese. Consequently, it’s highly recommendable that the arguer investigate the problem in a more all-rounded perspective before making the suggestion that cheese company should discontinue stocking imported cheese as a way to reduce it’s expense and therefore to increase its profit.

[ 本帖最后由 Archer1123 于 2006-1-17 14:37 编辑 ]

ldc792001UID: 2134601

argument65 奶酪问题，回拍留连接(sally)

65The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.
"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
提纲，
1，        去年一年的销售情况不具有代表性，也许去年对外贸易政策不利于进口，也许国内商品去年价格低廉，也许去年在搞爱国活动以支持国内经济。
2，        世界杂志的调查结果不具有普遍性，也许受调查者主要是喜欢国内产品的人群，也许真正喜欢购买奶酪的人不喜欢被采访
3，        人们购买的数量只是公司增加利润的一个因素，还有其他原因比如单位奶酪的利润，公司上缴的税等等
4，        即使W的居民的确喜欢购买国产奶酪，也不代表所有地方的人都喜欢国产奶酪
正文
at first glance, the argument seems to be plausible with regard to some premises(such as the best-seller list of last year in W, the investigation poll of World magzine and so forth) the arguer presents to back up his ratiocination, Upon a closer inspection, however, some fallacies hidden in the disguise of the arguer’s analysis will be unveiled since he or she fails to take into consideration other variables which carry weight in the underlying occasion of the argument.(sally 的开头很棒，有一点，为什么such as 后的内容要放在括号里呢？)

At first place, the selling record of last year in W is not representative enough to be relied on as a means to justify the superiority of demestic（domestic） cheeses. There lies the possibility that some other exterior factores（factors） having some bearing on the seemly good selliing record of demestic cheese but these factors may be not available in other year other than last year. Say, maybe the foreign trade policy of last years are not conducive to the imported products including cheeses, it’s also possible that manufacturers purposively cut down the price of domestic cheese as a vehicle to stimulate consumption, moreover, we either cannot exclude the probability that W hold a multitude of sales promotion activities of home-making cheese so as to attract consumers and eventually propel domestic economy（这种可能性好像有点远了吧？）. If all the assumed conditions turn out to be the case, it cannot be denied that ,more often than not, people would choose domestic cheeses rather than foreign ones in order to benefit from the temporal condition.

What’s more, investigation-receivers’ preference of home-making cheese is not the equivalance（equivalence）of the marjority’s（majority’s）tasty inclination. In this sense, the developer furnishes us with no solid evidence to explain the concrete investigation proceture(procedure) to us. Consider, it’s possible that advocates of imported cheese are not included in the survey(这点反驳的好), it’s also possible that the stanch cheese-likers are tired of this kind of survey and a prevalance of them are imported cheese buyers. With the presence of these likelihood, domestic cheese stands more chance to rank high in the poll of World magazine.

In addition to this, the author fails to consider other alternatives which bear the immediate interest to the profit of a cheese company rather than the number of comsumers. In most event, the tax imposed on cheese factories, net profit per cheese and so on are bound to influence the final profit of a company. Let’s make a hypothesis here, if the selling quanity of cheese is on the increase but the tax the company have to pay and the net profit per cheese are too high to be supplemented by the prevalence of selling quantity, would the company win great profit? （感觉这个假设论的较浅，且和上面的那句话有重复的嫌疑）

Last but not least, concession granted that people in W are more likely to buy domestic cheese, and we admit that the profit the company gains by selling domestic cheese is much higher than by selling imported cheese, we still cannnot bracket the prosperity of domestic cheese in W along with the prevalent worldwild（worldwide） condition. Objectively, the arguer should analyze the concrete consumption situation in every place listed on the cheese stores’ chain business operation before declaring that domestic cheese stands more chance to be chosen by customers as their predilection in every chain store throughout the US（sally 这句话好长啊，读的喘不过气来了）. It’s inextricable that there lies the likelihood that imported cheese sells better than domestic ones in the rest chain stores but that in W.

To sum up, having viewed all the aspects above, we feel no difficult to draw the conclusion that the developer’s ratiocination holds water because he ignores other concomitant negative selling condition in places beside W, also, he fails to take into calculation some culprits that would attribute to the downside of domestic cheese. Consequently, it’s highly recommendable that the arguer investigate the problem in a more all-rounded perspective before making the suggestion that cheese company should discontinue stocking imported cheese as a way to reduce it’s expense and therefore to increase its profit.