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[i习作temp] issue64 (Baxia第二次作业),555,越写越烂了 [复制链接]

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楼主
发表于 2006-1-30 21:25:07 |只看该作者

还好啦!继续努力

第二次任务:  
issue64 "Many people know how to attain success, but few know how to make the best uses of it."
提纲:1、开篇,给success一个定义,以便有利于后面说明在一个过程中的一小步成果也是success
2、正面说利用好了以前的success会怎样
3、反面说不会利用或者没有用好success会怎样
4、结论
(怎么感觉这篇写得这么没道理讲呢。。。)

We may have to give a fine definition to 'success' at the top of the issue. Success, which is expected by any of the ambitious, can be described as a great step or a big progress in science researches or social activities. That's like the idea of, in database conception, the transaction which is expressed like a milestone in the whole database actions.

  From the definition, we know the scope for success is huge in our normal(everyday) life and can expect that everybody can attain success due to his/her effort. If we can make the best uses(use) of our successes, much more accomplishment(s) can be achieved successively. Take the development of natural science for (an) example. Most of the achievement is based on the successes acquired before. In physics and mathematic research, although the scientists may not get what they were expecting, what they discovered in the process of their researching work(s) might be crucial for other researching works. So if the scientists can take good advantage of this kind of success, they can make even bigger progress in their careers.

  However, not every person knows how to make the best use of their success. They accomplish one thing, and next time if they need the conclusion from the former accomplishment, they do it thoroughly again at the right beginning. That's just corresponding to an old Chinese proverb expressed as 'The black bear harvesting corns puts one corn under his arm and just lose the former one under the same arm'.(有这句谚语吗?) Or what even worse is that, people misuse their results from their success, which may take them to serious fallacy or undermine what they’ve built up. (这一段感觉论证很无力,但是没找出这样的例子呢。。。)

  In conclusion, one who can reach his/her success may not have the consciousness (这个词我觉得用得不好)to use it in a proper way. Using effectively the fruit from success can help to achieve successive progresses while leaving the accomplishment free of usage or misusing it could keep one staying in one place or even reversing to an inferior state.

实话说是有点论证无力,还是要加油啦,我觉得我们俩都应该先复习一下中文的议论文怎么写啦??

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沙发
发表于 2006-1-31 18:39:09 |只看该作者
We may have to give a fine definition to 'success' at the top of the issue. Success, which is expected by any of the ambitious, can be described as a great step or a big progress in science researches or social activities. That's like the idea of, in database conception, the transaction which is expressed like a milestone in the whole database actions.

From the definition, we know the scope for success is huge in our normal life and can expect that everybody can attain success due to his/her effort. If we can make the best uses(use) of our successes(success), much more accomplishment(s) can be achieved successively. Take the development of natural science for example. Most of the achievement is based on the successes acquired before. In physics(physical) and mathematic research, although the scientists may not get what they were expecting, what they discovered in the process of their researching work might be crucial for other researching works. So if the scientists can take good advantage of this kind of success, they can make even bigger progress in their careers.

However, not every person knows how to make the best uses of their success. They accomplish one thing, and next time if they need the conclusion from the former accomplishment, they do it thoroughly again at the right beginning. (Many people always take a lot of time to do something might be easily solved by their searching for the former's accomplishments. What a pity these people have wasted so much time for their repeated working.)<我可能会这么表达>That's just corresponding to an old Chinese proverb expressed as 'The black bear harvesting corns puts one corn under his arm and just lose the former one under the same arm'(我的语文不太好,这句话中文是什么?). Or what even worse is that, people misuse their results from their success, which may take them to serious fallacy or undermine what they’ve built up.(我觉得无论是说许多人不懂得利用前人的成功,或者说他们误用了自己的成功,都需要用实例来说明,不过例子好难举。)

In conclusion, one who can reach his/her success may not have the consciousness to use it in a proper way. Using effectively the fruit from success can help to achieve (more) successive progresses while leaving the accomplishment free of usage or misusing it could keep one staying in one place or even reversing to an inferior state.
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板凳
发表于 2006-1-31 21:08:24 |只看该作者
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地板
发表于 2006-2-1 00:35:01 |只看该作者
issue64 Baxia第二次作业,555,越写越烂了

第二次任务:  
issue64 "Many people know how to attain success, but few know how to make the best uses of it."
提纲:1、开篇,给success一个定义,以便有利于后面说明在一个过程中的一小步成果也是success
2、正面说利用好了以前的success会怎样
3、反面说不会利用或者没有用好success会怎样
4、结论
(怎么感觉这篇写得这么没道理讲呢。。。)

We may have to give a fine definition to 'success' at the top of the issue. Success, which is expected by any of the ambitious, can be described as a great step or a big progress in science researches or social activities. That's like the idea of, in database conception, the transaction which is expressed like a milestone in the whole database actions.

  From the definition, we know the scope for success is huge in our normal life and can expect that everybody can attain success due to his/her effort. If we can make the best uses of our successes, much more accomplishments can be achieved successively. Take the development of natural science for example. Most of the achievement is based on the successes acquired before. In physics and mathematic research, although the scientists may not get what they were expecting, what they havediscovered in the process of their researching work might be crucial for other researching works. So if the scientists can take good advantage of this kind of success, they can make even bigger progress in their careers.

  However, not every person knows how to make the best uses of their success. They accomplish one thing, and next time if they need the conclusion from the former accomplishment, they do it thoroughly again at the right beginning.你只是说了没利用好的一个方面,如果你多说几个方面就有例子了... That's just corresponding to an old Chinese proverb expressed as 'The black bear harvesting corns puts one corn under his arm and just lose the former one under the same arm'. Or what even worse is that, people misuse their results from their success, which may take them to serious fallacy or undermine what they’ve built up. 这一段感觉论证很无力,但是没找出这样的例子呢。。。

  In conclusion, one who can reach his/her success may not have the consciousness to use it in a proper way. Using effectively the fruit from success can help to achieve successive progresses while leaving the accomplishment free of usage or else misusing it could keep one staying in one place or even reversing to an inferior state.  

This issue is logical but not vivid enough.
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5
发表于 2006-2-1 00:39:48 |只看该作者
有点短呢,楼主~~

因为痛苦地在半夜写完了一篇自己都不忍多看的issue,所以看见你的标题就深有感触……

虽然也在自己问自己越写越烂怎么办,不过还是要壮起胆子说一句:咱们一定会成功的!!一起努力吧~~~

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发表于 2006-2-1 02:01:38 |只看该作者
We may have to give a fine definition to 'success' at the top of the issue. Success, which is expected by any of the ambitious, can be described as a great step or a big progress in science researches or social activities. That's like the idea of, in database conception, the transaction which is expressed like a milestone in the whole database actions.

  From the definition, we know the scope for success is huge in our normal life and can expect that everybody can attain success due to his/her effort. If we can make the best use of our successes, much more accomplishment can be achieved successively. Take the development of natural science for example. Most of the achievement is based on the successes acquired before. In physics and mathematic research, although the scientists may not get what they were expecting, what they discovered in the process of their researching work might be crucial for other researching works. So if the scientists can take good advantage of this kind of success, they can make even bigger progress in their careers.(感觉例子地使用还是有点苍白和贫乏,似乎有例子不够鲜明,而论理还太模糊之嫌~~加油!)

  However, not every person knows how to make the best uses of their success. They accomplish one thing, and next time if they need the conclusion from the former accomplishment, they do it thoroughly again at the right beginning. That's just corresponding to an old Chinese proverb expressed as 'The black bear harvesting corns puts one corn under his arm and just lose the former one under the same arm'. Or what even worse is that, people misuse their results from their success, which may take them to serious fallacy or undermine what they’ve built up. 这一段感觉论证很无力,但是没找出这样的例子呢。。。)((用了谚语呢~^ ^,例子从没有利用好的原因有很多种入手找找看~)

  In conclusion, one who can reach his/her success may not have the consciousness to use it in a proper way. Using effectively the fruit from success can help to achieve successive progresses while leaving the accomplishment free of usage or misusing it could keep one staying in one place or even reversing to an inferior state.

读了你的文,最强烈的感觉就是没有用事实说话~
(觉得有点离题,我觉得重点该放在“少数”上,不过是一己之见^ ^)


[ 本帖最后由 黑崎猫猫 于 2006-2-1 02:03 编辑 ]
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RE: issue64 (Baxia第二次作业),555,越写越烂了 [修改]

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