issue108 政府的公开性，有拍必回，留连接(sally)

sallyxinduUID: 2131253

108."In many countries it is now possible to turn on the television and view government at work. Watching these proceedings can help people understand the issues that affect their lives. The more kinds of government proceedings - trials, debates, meetings, etc. - that are televised, the more society will benefit."

提纲
1，        政府是全民的代表，他们的工作目的应该以人民群众的意愿为导向的。对人民的公开有利于二者之间的交流，从而使政府的行为符合人们的康乐。
2，        工作的透明性可以防止很多不利后果的产生，如腐败，欺骗，等等，同时也体现了一个国家的民主。
3，        但是，过度的透明会引起骚乱，所以，公开是在保证秩序的前提下。而且，军事机密等也该保密。

正文
Government is to populace what head is to foot. It cannot be denied that the head controls the very movement of the foot while foot give the stronggest backing to head. Lacking either of the two the other would not funcion naturally, consequently, govornment and populace have the equal rights and capability to each other. In this sense, it is highly recommendable that the government applies openness and transparency to the governance of the public so as to achieve democracy and equality and eventually to propell the development of our society.

To begin with, leadership is established in accordance with the ultima well-being of the populace, thus leaders’ work target should be public-oriented. For example, in order to tackle the proverty in one region so as to improver people’s living standard there, government’s proceedings are bound to be within the confines of solving proverty, such as decreasing tax, supplying fund, emphacizing on education, improving public facilities and so forth, all of which are aiming at de-burdenning the economic presure of the people and to facilitating people’s life there. Not only government’s work is at the mercy of the populic’s willing,but also officials in the government are elected out by populace. One striking example involves the president-voting system in the US, the more popular with the public, the more votes the candidates would win and this in turn would lead to his or her presidency. With regard to this, we know that the populace serves as both the origin and the goal of government. Under such a circumstance, government should be open and transparent to the publich so the populace could point out wrongs in government’s proceeding. In turn, government’s work could obtain the general potential fit with the populace.

In the second place, transparency inevitably would prvent some negative outcomes of non-transparency of governmence, say,corruption and abusing power. For as John Stuart Mill(one famous stateman in the US)said: “The proper office of a representative assembly is to watch and control the government; to throw the light of publicity on its acts; to compel full exposition and justification of all of then which anyone considers questionable; to censor them if found condemnable.” In this aspect, the populic takes the role as to supervise the government as a means to guard against putridity in government. Deep down, publicity to the public incarnates one nation’s democracy as well in that openness sharply undermines the autarchy and despotism by endow the populace with the opportunity to exam the leaders’ proceedings.

Nvertheless, this is nowhere more true than on the issue that over-transparency would turn out to be stupid, because exceeding publicity, more often than not, may threaten the secrecy of a nation. Take military affairs for instance, if one nation’s campaign strategy is exposed to public, the enomy nations stand more chance to gain these confidential information from the ordinary people, Consequently, this would bring diseasters to the nation. In addition, within the domestic scope, over-transparency will result in chaos and disorderliness in society. Consier, if the discovery of bird flu fury is known by puplic at the very beginning, the whole nation may be thrown on the edge. Conversely, if government with a group of experts take timely actions and solve this problem secretly, the result would be more promising. In this sense, orderliness and some confidential information should be the precondition of transparency and openness.

To sum up, what government plays is not a zero-sum game. It can achieve both goals – transparency and security -- to an appreciable degree. In this sense, publicity is the stimulus of democracy and secrecy is the guarantee of security. Only by striking a balance between the two could we realize the everlasting prosperity of the society.

[ 本帖最后由 sallyxindu 于 2006-2-19 17:13 编辑 ]

weiweizhuUID: 179352

Government is to populace what head is to foot(这个表达法好怪哦，是句谚语什么的吗，不过这个比喻用得很好就是了，还有哦第一段有没有必要这么写啊，一般只要说明观点就可以了 ，这么精彩得比喻应该放在正文啊）. It cannot be denied that the head controls the very movement of the foot while foot give the stronggest backing to head. Lacking either of the two the other would not funcion naturally, consequently, govornment and populace have the equal rights and capability to each other. In this sense, it is highly recommendable that the head applies openness and transparency to the governance of the public so as to achieve democracy and equality and eventually the propell the development of our society.

To begin with, leadership is established in accordance with the ultima well-being of the populace, thus leaders’ （不只是leader，还有一般政府工作人员，用government official就行啦）work target should be public-oriented. For example, in order to tackle the proverty in one region so as to improver people’s living standard there, government’s proceedings are bound to be within the confines of solving proverty, such as decreasing tax, supplying fund, emphacizing on education, improving public facilities and so forth, all of which are aiming at de-burdenning the economic presure of the people and to facilitating people’s life there. Not only government’s work is at the mercy of好啊 the populic’s willing,but also officials in the government are elected out by populace. One striking example involves the president-voting system in the US, the more popular with the public, the more votes the candidates would win and this in turn would lead to his or her presidency. With regard to this, we know that the populace serves as both the origin and the goal of government. Under such a circumstance, government should be open and transparent to the publich so the populace could point out wrongs in government’s proceeding. In turn, government’s work could obtain the general potential fit with the populace.

In the second place, transparency inevitably would （would inevitably）prvent some negative outcomes of non-transparency of governmence, say,corruption and abusing power. For as John Stuart Mill(one famous stateman in the US)said: “The proper office of a representative assembly is to watch and control the government; to throw the light of publicity on its acts; to compel full exposition and justification of all of then which anyone considers questionable; to censor them if found condemnable.” 这么经典得话你在哪里找到得啊In this aspect, the populic takes the role as to supervise the government as a means to guard against putridity in government. Deep down, publicity to the public incarnates one nation’s democracy as well in that openness sharply undermines the autarchy and despotism by endow the populace with the opportunity to exam the leaders’ proceedings.（这里是不是可以举个例子，具体论证到corruption时不是很详细）

Nvertheless, this is nowhere more true than on the issue that over-transparency would turn out to be stupid, because exceeding publicity, more often than not, amy threatn the secrecy of a nation. Take military affairs for instance, if one nation’s campaign strategy is exposed to public, the enomy nations stand more chance to gain these confidential information from the ordinary people, Consequently, this would bring diseasters to the nation. In addition, with the domestic scope, over-transparency will result in chaos and disorderliness in society. Consier, if the discovery of bird flu fury（禽流感吗） is known by puplic at the very beginning, the whole nation may be thrown on the edge. Conversely, if government with a group of experts take timely actions and solve this problem secretly, the result would be more promising. In this sense, orderliness and some confidential information should be the precondition of transparency and openness. （这段论证得好全面哦）

To sum up, what government plays is not a zero-sum game（你是学经济的吗，零和博弈你都用上拉）. It can achieve both goals – transparency and security -- to an appreciable degree. In this sense, publicity is the stimulus of democracy and secrecy is the guarantee of security. Only by striking a balance between the two could we realize the everlasting prosperity of the society.

楼主的提纲是最旧式最保守的那种
可是写法很新用的例子很新而且语言很好
这样写不会偏题而且分数应该挺好
看你的作文是个很好的学习
我是后来加入的好像没有parter哦
这篇也没写最近状态不好

TARZAN_1982UID: 2142821

Sally, 我不知道你的开头是不是有据可查，如果是原来就有的谚语固然不错，但是如果是自己的而老美又不是能够顺畅的理解，应该说是很危险的。请原谅我并没有逐字的写上我的看法，但是我是认真读过的，原因主要是我和你对于这道题目的理解不是很一样，坦白的说不是很赞成这个思路，虽说ISSU可以从任意角度谈，但是我个人觉得这道题还是要多谈一点与电视有关的内容，至于词汇与文法你的功底已经很好了，我也很羡慕，希望自己也能快点提高。总之，这就算是我的建议吧，也希望我们可以进一步交流彼此的看法。

禾慕繁星UID: 194496

拼写和语法上的小错误就不纠正了，看得出搂主基础很好哦！肯定是没用word写吧？
Government is to populace what head is to foot. It cannot be denied that the head controls the very movement of the foot while foot give the stronggest backing to head. Lacking either of the two the other would not funcion naturally, consequently, govornment and populace have the equal rights and capability to each other.觉得这句话说起来有点怪怪的呢，是想说二者相辅相成是吧？可不可以说of equal importance to each other? In this sense, it is highly recommendable that the government applies openness and transparency to the governance of the public so as to achieve democracy and equality and eventually to propell the development of our society.

To begin with, leadership is established in accordance with in accordance with用在这里似乎不怎么恰当？不如according to the ultima well-being of the populace, thus leaders’ work target should be public-oriented. For example, in order to tackle the proverty in one region so as to improver people’s living standard there, government’s proceedings are bound to be within the confines of solving proverty, 这句话不大明白？是说政府的行动就肯定应该限制在解决贫困问题的范围之内吗？我觉得这句可以去掉，直接说要解决贫困问题，政府就应该采取相应措施，such as…such as decreasing tax, supplying fund, emphacizing on education, improving public facilities and so forth, all of which are aiming at de-burdenning the economic presure of the people and to facilitating people’s life there. Not only government’s work is at the mercyat the mercy of用在这里合适吗？不如直接用is determined? of the populic’s willing,but also officials in the government are elected out by populace. One striking example involves the president-voting system in the US, the more popular with the public, the more votes the candidates would win and this in turn应该是in return吧 would lead to his or her presidency. With regard to this, we know that the populace serves as both the origin and the goal of government. Under such a circumstance, government should be open and transparent to the publich so the populace could point out wrongs in government’s proceeding. In turnin return, government’s work could obtain the general potential fit with the populace.

In the second place, transparency inevitably would prvent some negative outcomes of non-transparency of governmence, say,corruption and abusing power. For as John Stuart Mill(one famous stateman in the US)said: “The proper office of a representative assembly is to watch and control the government; to throw the light of publicity on its acts; to compel full exposition and justification of all of then which anyone considers questionable; to censor them if found condemnable.” In this aspect, the populic takes the role as to supervise the government as a means to guard against putridity in government. Deep down, publicity to the public incarnates one nation’s democracy as well in that openness sharply undermines the autarchy and despotism by endow the populace with the opportunity to examexamine  the leaders’ proceedings.

Nvertheless, this is nowhere more true than on the issue that over-transparency would turn out to be stupid, because exceeding publicity, more often than not, may threaten the secrecy of a nation. Take military affairs for instance, if one nation’s campaign strategy is exposed to public, the enomy nations stand more chance to gain these confidential information from the ordinary people, Consequently, this would bring diseasters to the nation. In addition, within the domestic scope, over-transparency will result in chaos and disorderliness in society. Consier, if the discovery of bird flu fury is known by puplic at the very beginning, the whole nation may be thrown on the edge. Conversely, if government with a group of experts take timely actions and solve this problem secretly, the result would be more promising. In this sense, orderliness and some confidential information should be the precondition of transparency and openness.

To sum up, what government plays is not a zero-sum game. It can achieve both goals – transparency and security -- to an appreciable degree. In this sense, publicity is the stimulus of democracy and secrecy is the guarantee of security. Only by striking a balance between the two could we realize the everlasting prosperity of the society.

佩服佩服，楼主的语言能力确实很强！词汇好丰富啊！不知有何心得？
不过，同意楼上的观点，本文似乎应该加强和televised的联系，最少也应该在开头用一句话把电视和民主公开做一个连接，免得有离题之嫌。
总的来说，我还是比较赞成这样的论证的，楼主论述的条理很清晰，论证也颇到位！
恳请指教我的作文，好久没写词汇匮乏，还希望帮帮忙提点提点啊！https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D5 Issue185 丑闻的作用

[ 本帖最后由 禾慕繁星 于 2006-2-20 00:45 编辑 ]