同主题143, 互砸吧,互殴吧

flyingwindUID: 189320

143. Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each year. Others believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

After studying for a long time, all students are looking forward to enjoying the vacation their school has set. Then, should students be given one long vacation each year or should they have several short vacations during the year? In my opinion, providing several short vacations to students per year is a better one.

For one thing, dividing one long vacation each year into several short vacations will render students relaxing efficiently. There is no evidence that the more time the vacation includes, the better students loose up. On the contrary, in most cases only several days' break could refresh young students immediately. Also, one long vacation each year means that students must spend a great amount of time on their study in the semester, which is a very long time span without any break. Then during this time period, especially when under the rigorous stress from all aspects, how do these exhausted students relieve this pressure? Nevertheless, if there are several vacations available each semester, students could relax themselves more and better.

Not only does a vacation help students to tentatively escape from the increased pressure of courses and relax them, but also it offers a significant preparation for the work of the students in the next semester.

Given a long vacation, students are less likely to spend time preparing the next term. Time slips quickly, more often before students have realize, the vacation meets its end. Further, in all likelihood, some students might take a long journey on the long time vacation. It is not that they hardly care about their studies; it is the lure of the attractive entertainment they cannot reject. Suppose providing several short vacations during one semester, the content and the knowledge of the courses in each term is closely attached. Students might have to save time to go over their textbooks so as to keep up other classmates after the breaks.

In conclusion, providing several vacations each year to the students instead of one long vacation would be more beneficial to the students in terms of an efficient relaxation as well as a better usage of time preparing the next terms' work. Then why not change the long vacation, say, eighty days into four vacations involving twenty days each?

[ 本帖最后由 flyingwind 于 2006-5-5 16:36 编辑 ]

flyingwindUID: 189320

自己顶一个,五一不能放松啊!

fhxyweiUID: 157384

143. Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each year. Others believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

After studying for a long time, all students are looking forward to enjoy[ing] the vacation their school has assigned[这个词不当]. Then, should students be given one long vacation each year or should they have several short vacations during the year? In my opinion, providing several short vacations to students per year is a better one.

For one thing, dividing one long vacation each year into several short vacations will render students relaxing efficiently. There is no evidence that the more time the vacation includes, the better students loose up. On the contrary, in most cases only several days' break could refresh young students immediately. Also, one long vacation each year means that students must spend a great amount of time on their study in the semester, which is a very long time span without any break. Then during this time period, especially when under the rigorous stress from all aspects, how [do]these exhausted students release this pressure? Nevertheless, if there are several vacations available each semester, students could relax themselves more and better.

Not only [does]a vacation help students to tentatively escape from the increased pressure of courses and relax them, but also it offers a significant preparation for the work of the students in the next semester.

[这段讲什么？]

Given a long vacation, students are less likely to spend time preparing the next term. Time slips quickly, more often before students have realize, the vacation meets its end. Further, in all likelihood, some students might take a long journey on the long time vacation. It is not that they hardly care about their studies; it is the lure of the attractive entertainment they cannot reject. Suppose providing several short vacations during one semester, the content and the knowledge of the courses in each term is closely attached[什么意思？衔接？]. Students might have to save time to go over their textbooks so as to keep up other classmates after the breaks.
[理由有点牵强，你能说服你自己吗？长假期的缺点就是不能够好好准备下学期的学习？]

IN conclusion, providing several vacations each year to the students instead of one long vacation would be more beneficial to the students in terms of an efficient relaxation as well as a better usage of time preparing the next terms' work. Then why not change the long vacation, say, eighty days into four vacations involving twenty days each?

语言都还可以，就是道理说的有点笼统，长短假期的优缺点还可以深度挖掘

flyingwindUID: 189320

第2段,讲的是多短假期更好的帮助学生休息啊
你想啊,一个假期意味着有很长的时间都在学习,这个学习期间压力大,没得到放松啊

扁舟子001UID: 204048

143. Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each year. Others believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

After studying for a long time, all students are looking forward to enjoying the vacation their school has set. Then, should students be given one long vacation each year or should they have several short vacations during the year? In my opinion, providing several short vacations to students per year is a better one.

For one thing, dividing one long vacation each year into several short vacations will render students relaxing efficiently. There is no evidence that the more time the vacation includes, the better students loose up. On the contrary, in most cases only several days' break could refresh young students immediately. Also, one long vacation each year means that students must spend a great amount of time on their study要不要用studies in the semester, which is a very long time span without any break. Then during this time period, especially when under the rigorous你这里想表达的是什么样的压力？ stress from all aspects, how do these exhausted students release this pressure你要表达的是释放压力还是应对压力？. Nevertheless, if there are several vacations available each semester, students could relax themselves more and better.[b]这段话你要表达的意思是如果放长假的话，那么一个学期的时间就必定很长，因此耗竭的学生不能从压力中放松？我觉得你的思路很不错的。

Not only does a vacation help students to tentatively escape from the increased pressure of courses and relax them[b]是不是make them relax?, but also it offers a significant preparation for the work of the students in the next semester. 这一段好像有点太短了。要不举个例子？

Given a long vacation, students are less likely to spend time preparing the next term[b]为什么长假不能为下学期的学习做准备？难道短假就可以？问题的关键是不是在于学生可能不能很好的计划假期？. Time slips quickly, more often before students have realize, the vacation meets its end. Further, in all likelihood, some students might take a long journey on the long time vacation. It is not that they hardly care about their studies; it is the lure of the attractive entertainment they cannot reject. Suppose providing several short vacations during one semester, the content and the knowledge of the courses in each term is closely attached. Students might have to save time to go over their textbooks so as to keep up other classmates after the breaks.

In conclusion, providing several vacations each year to the students instead of one long vacation would be more beneficial to the students in terms of an efficient relaxation as well as a better usage of time preparing the next terms' work. Then why not change the long vacation, say, eighty days into four vacations involving twenty days each?

我觉得你的行文很流畅，词汇感觉也很丰富，节奏感不错。
可能在论点上需要有一点改变，个人观点，不一定对的，比如说，你在列举长假不好的时候，就不能完全说服我。面临长假，也许很多学生不能好好做计划，导致诸多不良后果？

另外第三段，你的作用是什么？是承上启下，还是一个论点？

flyingwindUID: 189320

原帖由 扁舟子001 于 2006-5-5 11:27 发表
143. Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each year. Others believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year. Which viewpoint do you agre ..
可能在论点上需要有一点改变，个人观点，不一定对的，比如说，你在列举长假不好的时候，就不能完全说服我。面临长假，也许很多学生不能好好做计划，导致诸多不良后果？
另外第三段，你的作用是什么？是承上启下，还是一个论点？
.

第三段我就是一个承上启下的作用引入下个论点,我也想写3段,但是这样每段都不写不充分了.30分钟时间很短啊

我看过你写的作文,很不错,所以很愿意和你结对互改!

flyingwindUID: 189320

原帖由 扁舟子001 于 2006-5-5 11:27 发表
release this pressure你要表达的是释放压力还是应对压力？.  

这里不好意思是我写错了,是relieve