@口耐的三组--->五一twe写作特训@third times

zhangheng1020UID: 2130513

161. People remember special gifts or presents that they have received. Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 2:30
这个题目9901考过，写这个题目也是向大家证明考过的题目是有很大可能会再考的，这点一定要重视。
相关题目：33，142

People remember special gifts that they received, no matter it is from their friends or enemy, every gift is a individual remarkable one. Why presents can give us such a impressive memory? I am willing to analyze in the following reasons:

First, gifts are the records of the wishes from their givers. We often say “best wishes” when sending a gift to a friend. On the country, our enemy might send a terrible present as a symbol of their curse. Remember in the story “snow white”, those fairies sent different words to the little princess as her birthday gift? No matter good or bad, gift is the vessel that contents more than just a material value; instead, it is the meaningful wish that make a gift impressive.   
        
Second, gifts are the test stone for one’s attitude toward life. Generally speaking, we can identify “gift” as sth that we will receive from other factors, sth uncertain but have to happen. For example, some gossipers like complain for every thing happened them. For them, life is a gift from a bad fairy. While someone who keep a thanksgiving attitude toward what he received might feel the life lovely. When an optimist lost his left foot in an accident, he will still thank God for saving his right foot. Keeping an active attitude, can help one forgive the curse from enemies and remember the wished from friends.

Last, gift is something beyond the material, it can be an ethic symbol of human beings. Like the snow princess, she can’t choice what he will get, but since she have to live with all those good and bad gifts, she try her best to enjoy her every day life. Dislike the fate, we might not meet a prince after a bad gift, but we will surely meet our bright day again after long term active trying. And no matter what happened in life, just tread is as a gift, then keep positive. Remember to send your gift with your best wishes to your surrounding, to your friend and some times, even to your enemies. In that way, you have sent a gift called “forgiveness” to yourself. Those gifts from yourself can value the price of your soul.  

In sum, as the old saying, giving is better than receiving. The value of a gift might be measurable, but the thoughtful meaning behind is priceless. That is way people are so moved by those gifts, as they are the record of the past memories and the active attitude towards life. Hope each of us can enjoy every day as a gift, and thanks giving for daily life.

zhangheng1020UID: 2130513

25 min 440words
今天第三篇， ms脑子已经不太转了，写了一个幼稚文上来

zhangheng1020UID: 2130513

Q: People remember special gifts or presents that they have received. Why?
--------------------------MY ANSWER: THOSE THINGS BEHIND A GIFT---------------
People remember special gifts that they received; no matter it is from their friends or enemies, every gift is special （yep, simple is the best!）. Why presents can give us such an impressive memory? I am willing to analyze it in the following reasons:

First, gifts are the records of the wishes from their givers. We often say “best wishes” when sending a gift to a friend. On the contrary, our enemy might send a terrible present as a symbol of the curse. Remember in the story “Snow White”, those fairies sent different words to the little princess as her birthday gift? No matter good or bad, gift is the vessel that content (are) (should be "contains" here , or includes) more than just aN valuable material; instead, it is the meaningful wish that make a gift impressive.   
        
Second, gifts are the test stones for one’s attitude toward life. Generally speaking, we can identify “gift” as something uncertain, something that we will meet and have to receive. For example, some gossipers like complain for(about) every thing happened on them. For them, life is like a gift from a terrible fairy. While someone who keepS a thanksgiving attitude toward what he received might be moved by the lovely life. When an optimist lost his left foot in an accident, he will still thank God for saving his right foot. Keeping an active attitude, can help one forgive the curse from enemies and remember the wished from friends.

Last, gift is something beyond the material. It  can be an ethical symbol of human beings. Like the Snow Princess, she can’t choose her fade and what she will get, but since she had to live with all those good and bad gifts, she tried her best to enjoy her every day life. Dislike the fate, we might not meet a prince after receiving a bad gift, but we will surely meet our bright day again after long term active trying. And no matter what happened in life, just tread it as a gift, and don’t forget to keep positive in the meanwhile. Remember to send your gift with your best wishes to your surrounding, to your friend---and some times, even to your enemies. In that way, you have sent a gift called “forgiveness” to yourself. ThE:xx( gift :}) from yourself show the price of your soul.  

In sum, as the old saying, "giving is better than receiving". The value of a gift might be measurable, but the thoughtful meaning behind is priceless. That is why people are so easily moved by those gifts, as they are the record of the past memories and the active attitude towards life. Hope each of us can enjoy every day as a gift, and thanks giving for our daily life.

[ 本帖最后由 zhangheng1020 于 2006-5-7 16:46 编辑 ]

Esther.LiUID: 191003

窃窃地说一句，题目的意思难道不是说“special”的礼物会被记住么？我怎么觉得lz这篇文章有点跑题.... （汗，要不然就是我的跑题了。。。）

提醒一下 twe作为正式文体，写“sth”这样的缩写词是不合适的...

赞一下一些词的使用...

偶滴链接在第98楼，欢迎楼上给点意见:D

susan8940UID: 160449

原帖由 Esther.Li 于 2006-5-6 15:36 发表
窃窃地说一句，题目的意思难道不是说“special”的礼物会被记住么？我怎么觉得lz这篇文章有点跑题.... （汗，要不然就是我的跑题了。。。）

提醒一下 twe作为正式文体，写“sth”这样的缩写词是不合适的...

...

我看了很多范文感觉都有点跑题，真是不懂啊。。

susan8940UID: 160449

复制下来晚上改
楼主看看我的吧：）
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... xtra=#pid1768535331


e NPeople remember special gifts that they received; no matter it is from their friends or enemies, every gift is a remarkable individual. Why presents can give us such an impressive memory? I am willing to analyze it in the following reasons:

First, gifts are the records of the wishes from their givers. We often say “best wishes” when sending a gift to a friend. On the country（contrary）, our enemy might send a terrible present as a symbol of the curse. Remember in the story “snow white”, those fairies sent different words to the little princess as her birthday gift? No matter good or bad, gift is the vessel that contents(contains) more than just a valuable material; instead, it is the meaningful wish that make a gift impressive.    论证展开不太充分，可以多讲下why meaningful wishes make gifts impressive.

Second, gifts are the test stone for one’s attitude toward life. Generally speaking, we can identify “gift” as sth that we will receive from other factors, sth uncertain but have to happen. For example, some gossipers like complain for every thing happened them. For them, life is like a gift from a terrible fairy. While someone who keep a thanksgiving attitude toward what he received might be moved by the lovely life.（从句套从句，强！） When an optimist lost his left foot in an accident, he will still thank God for saving his right foot. Keeping an active attitude, can help one forgive the curse from enemies and remember the wished from friends.这段跟礼物没什么关系吧？看不太明白。

Last, gift is something beyond the material. It  can be an ethical symbol of human beings. Like the Snow Princess,（白雪公主？感觉最好不要用童话作例子） she can’t choice（choose） her fade and what she will get, but since she had to live with all those good and bad gifts, she tried her best to enjoy her every day (everyday)life. Dislike the fate, we might not meet a prince after receiving a bad gift, but we will surely meet our bright day again after long term active trying. And no matter what happened in life, just tread it as a gift, and don’t forget to keep positive in the meanwhile. Remember to send your gift with your best wishes to your surrounding, to your friend---and some times, even to your enemies. In that way, you have sent a gift called “forgiveness” to yourself. Those gift from yourself shows the price of your soul.  寄托

In sum, as the old saying(goes), "giving is better than receiving". The value of a gift might be measurable, but the thoughtful meaning behind is priceless. That is why people are so easily moved by those gifts, as they are the record of the past memories and the active attitude towards life. Hope each of us can enjoy every day as a gift, and thanks giving for our daily life.寄托家园8X3f i B q
后几段写得很好，很励志，可惜与主题不相关（至少我没看出来），楼主觉得呢？

[ 本帖最后由 susan8940 于 2006-5-6 20:08 编辑 ]

宝贝小猪UID: 2135340

原帖由 Esther.Li 于 2006-5-6 15:36 发表
窃窃地说一句，题目的意思难道不是说“special”的礼物会被记住么？我怎么觉得lz这篇文章有点跑题.... （汗，要不然就是我的跑题了。。。）

提醒一下 twe作为正式文体，写“sth”这样的缩写词是不合适的...

...

heng姐姐的aw水平很高的:victory:
seat taken

Esther.LiUID: 191003

People remember special gifts that they received; no matter it is from their friends or enemies, every gift is a remarkable individual这个词用在这里怪怪的，不如省略？. Why presents can give us such an impressive memory? I am willing to analyze it in the following reasons:

First, gifts are the records of the wishes from their givers. We often say “best wishes” when sending a gift to a friend. On the country, our enemy might send a terrible present as a symbol of the curse. Remember in the story “snow white”, those fairies sent different words to the little princess as her birthday gift? No matter good or bad, gift is the twe常见毛病：滥用定冠词 vessel that contents more than just a valuable material; instead, it is the meaningful wish that make a gift impressive.  

Second, gifts are the test stone复数 for one’s attitude toward life. Generally speaking, we can identify “gift” as sth that we will receive from other factors？？, sth uncertain but have to happen. For example, some gossipers like complain for every thing happened them. For them, life is like a gift from a terrible fairy. While someone who keep a thanksgiving attitude toward what he received might be moved by the lovely life. When an optimist lost his left foot in an accident, he will still thank God for saving his right foot. Keeping an active attitude, can help one forgive the curse from enemies and remember the wished from friends.
本来话题是“特别的礼物会被记住”，这段越说越远，后半部分讲的是人生观和积极的态度...

Last, gift is something beyond the material. 这个跟第一段结尾重复It  can be an ethical symbol of human beings. Like the Snow Princess, she can’t choice her fade and what she will get, but since she had to live with all those good and bad gifts, she tried her best to enjoy her every day life. Dislike the fate, we might not meet a prince after receiving a bad gift, but we will surely meet our bright day again after long term active trying. And no matter what happened in life, just tread it as a gift, and don’t forget to keep positive in the meanwhile. Remember to send your gift with your best wishes to your surrounding, to your friend---and some times, even to your enemies. In that way, you have sent a gift called “forgiveness” to yourself. Those gift from yourself shows the price of your soul. 这段完全跟特殊礼物被记住无关。

In sum, as the old saying, "giving is better than receiving". The value of a gift might be measurable, but the thoughtful meaning behind is priceless. That is why people are so easily moved by those gifts, as they are the record of the past memories and the active attitude towards life. Hope each of us can enjoy every day as a gift, and thanks giving for our daily life.是不是升华得太远了？？

红色是拼写错误，蓝色是语法错误，绿色是结构、思路的错误。
以上是偶的意见。:handshake

lanccyUID: 2156906

感觉虽然观点和body的ts都没跑题，可是因为把gift上升到了一定高度，然后再加上一些哲理的话，就很像是跑题了……

lanccyUID: 2156906

还有一些比较低级的语法错误存在

Esther.LiUID: 191003

这栋楼人真多，有热心滴帮偶拍拍啊:D：https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1