Argument2【加州阳光】第二次作业 请拍板

leaf99UID: 2174003

提纲：
1、限制和房价上涨没有因果关系。房价上涨可能还有其他原因，不知一个
2、两地区在居民偏好，居住环境，基础设施等方面会有差异，不能简单推理
3、几年之中，两地可能都发生了巨大变化。几年前涨价的原因不能推动现在涨价
字数：527 时间：不限

In this argument, the arguer recommends that the homeowners in Deerhaven Acres should follow the Brookville community to adopt a set of restriction on how the community's yards should ben landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted based on the assumption that the tripled average property values in Brookville community is mainly due to the adoption of this set of restriction. However, a thorough securitization of this assumption will reveal the fact that the above argument suffers from several major logical defects listed below.

First of all, the arguer unfairly assumes that the adoption of restriction set in Brookville community is the only reason that leads to the rise of average property values in this area. However, in the above argument has provided no evidence to support the cause-and-effect relationship between the former and the latter. In addition, the arguer fails to notice other factors can also attribute to such a significant rise of property values.  For instance, a new shopping mall may have been built in Brookville, attracting a number of dwellers or several new roads have been built leading to Brrokville, adding much traffic convenience. Without ruling out these and other possible factors that give rise to the increase of property values, the arguer cannot confidently draw the above conclusion.

The arguer also fails to notice the different characteristics between Brookville and Deerhaven Acres, which immediately refutes the simple analogy in the argument.
Though the two communities are geographically nearby, it does not mean that they are identical in terms of homeowners' preferences, living conditions, facilities and many other aspects. Even if the adoption of the restriction set was the only reason leading to property rise, homeowners in Deerhaven Acres may dislike landscaping the community’s yards or painting the exteriors of their homes. If so, the number of homeowners in Deerhaven Acres is likely to decrease and thus leading to a drop of average property values. Besides, if it is other factors that lead to the rise of property values in Brookville, Deerhaven Acres may not have them. For instance, with no shopping mall or no road built, Deerhaven Acres is less likely to witness the same rise even if it adopts similar restrictions as  Brookville did.   

Finally, the argument unfairly apply the successful experience of Brookville which occurred seven years ago to the present Deerhaven Acres case. Over seven years, both of the two communites have witnessed great changes in living environment, need of homeowners and public facilities. In Brookville, it may be some temporary and situational factors that lead to the sudden and dramatic property boom. With time passing, it is likely that both communities have improved their living environment and facilities and the homeowners have changed to pursue diversity of house decoration. Great changes happened over time will definitely undermine the above argument.

In conclusion, to make it more convincing, the arguer would have to provide more evidence to prove the relation between the adoption of restrictions and the tripled property values. Besides, it is also essential for the arguer to rule out the impact of dissimilarities between two communities and the changes over time with sufficient evidence.

[ 本帖最后由 leaf99 于 2006-6-3 13:38 编辑 ]

joey.liuUID: 2207101

In this argument, the arguer recommends that the homeowners in Deerhaven Acres should follow the Brookville community to adopt a set of restriction on how the community's yards should ben landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted based on the assumption that the tripled average property values in Brookville community is mainly due to the adoption of this set of restriction. However, a thorough securitization of this assumption will reveal the fact that the above argument suffers from several major logical defects listed below.

First of all, the arguer unfairly assumes that the adoption of restriction set in Brookville community is the only reason that leads tothe rise of average property values in this area. However, in the above argument has provided no evidence to support the cause-and-effect relationship between the former and the latter. In addition, the arguer fails to notice other factors can also attribute to（contribute to） such a significant rise of property values.  For instance, a new shopping mall may have been built in Brookville, attracting a number of dwellers or several new roads have been built leading to Brookville, adding much traffic convenience. Without ruling out these and other possible factors that give rise to the increase of property values, the arguer cannot confidently draw the above conclusion.

The arguer also fails to notice the different characteristics between Brookville and Deerhaven Acres, which immediately refutes the simple analogy in the argument.Though the two communities are geographically nearby, it does not mean that they are identical in terms of homeowners' preferences, living conditions, facilities and many other aspects. Even if the adoption of the restriction set was the only reason leading to property rise, homeowners in Deerhaven Acres may dislike landscaping the community’s yards or painting the exteriors of their homes. If so, the number of homeowners in Deerhaven Acres is likely to decrease and thus leading to(lead to or result in) a drop of average property values. Besides, if it is other factors that lead to the rise of property values in Brookville, Deerhaven Acres may not have them. For instance, with no shopping mall or no road built, Deerhaven Acres is less likely to witness the same rise even if it adopts similar restrictions as  Brookville did.   

Finally, the argument unfairly apply the successful experience of Brookville which occurred several years ago to the present Deerhaven Acres case. Over several years, both of the two communites(communities) have witnessed great changes in living environment, need of homeowners and public facilities. In Brookville, it may be some temporary and situational factors that lead to the sudden and dramatic property boom. With time passing, it is likely that both communities have improved their living environment and facilities and the homeowners have changed to pursue diversity of house decoration. Great changes happened over time will definitely undermine the above argument.

In conclusion, to make it more convincing, the arguer would have to provide more evidence to prove the relation between the adoption of restrictions and the tripled property values. Besides, it is also essential for the arguer to rule out the impact of dissimilarities between two communities and the changes over time with sufficient evidence.

文章思路明确，分析全面，特别是转折词，连词用的不错，总之，EXCELLENT!
但有点小小不足，就是有些词用得太单一，如Lead to文章中用了太多遍，可以用result in , bring about or bring on 适当换一下。
如果能限时写出这种文章，肯定5分以上。

joey.liuUID: 2207101

http://www.gter.edu.cn/bbs/viewt ... e%3D1#pid1768648498

2.The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.
"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting."
My synopsis:
1.Based on a false analogy
Are Brookville and Deerhaven comparable from size, population, habit or area?
2.No Cause-Effect relationship with the restrictions and tripled property
The set of restrictions in Brookville might not the main factor to cause average property values tripled. For instance, government development plan and imminent games may contribute to the upswing of the property values
3.Cannot infer a future condition from a past condition
The tripled property values in Brookville took place seven years ago, it may not suit Deerhaven for now.
4. Failing to consider the feasibility of our new set of restrictions
Perhaps our residents don’t welcome our own set of restrictions since they would change their daily life habit and bring some inconvenience for them.

  In the argument, the speaker suggests that they should adopt their own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting in order to raise property values in Deer haven Acres. To support the conclusion, the speaker takes Brookville community for the example-seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then average property values have tripled in Brookville. Close scrutiny of those upholding points in the example, however, reveals that none of them lend credible support to the recommendation.

  First of all, the argument is based on a false analogy between Brookville community and Deerhaven Acres. The arguer simply assumes that the two communities are similar. But actually, the speaker provides no evidence to confirm this. Perhaps the two communities cannot be comparable from the location, scale, population, habits and the like. For example, it is all possible that the community's yard should be landscaped to adopt the restrictions according to the terrain and the location in Brookville. Or perhaps the citizens there like the colors the exteriors of homes should be painted in accordance of the restrictions. Maybe the situations in Deerhaver Acres differentiates Brookville community a lot. Thus, they might not adopt the set of restrictions on landscaping and hoursepainting since it may not be suitable for kinds of specific conditions.

  Secondly, even if the two communities are based on the identical situation to adopt the set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting, there may be not causal correlation between the tripled values and how they landscaped and painted. It is high likely that other factors contribute to  upswing of the values in Brookville. For instance, perhaps the government invested that region to develop high-tech industry or tourism and thereby the measure attracted many people to make the average property values tripled in Brookville. If true, I thus advise they should not adopt the set of restrictions on landscaping and houspainting.

  Thirdly, because Brookville community adopted the set of restrictions, we cannot infer to the present and the future only according to the past experience, it is entirely possible that the current condition or reality has changed a lot. It would never be feasible to adopt the past restrictions. If they abide by the restrictions, then would not lead the values to increase, and even would result in depreciation of the average property values.  Furthermore, the speaker does not provides details in terms of their own set of restrictions to illustrate whether the local citizens like them and the cost to adopt that set of restrictions, it may have all likelihood that the costs are quite high and people there don't like them at all. Hence, without considering this series of factors, they should not adapt themselves to doing landscaping and houspainting.

  In conclusion, the argument rests on certain doubtful assumptions that render it unconvincing. To make it convincing, the arguer would have to provide more evidences to prove that the two communities are comparable and the situations of Brookville community in seven years ago are suitable for the present and the future for Deerhaver Acres. To better assess the accuracy of the argument, it would be useful and advisable to know the details of their own set of restrictions, such as popularity, costs and so forth.

leaf99UID: 2174003

谢谢楼上的鼓励，你可以将作文链接贴到加州阳光大贴中你的占位贴里。我决定加你入队，Pa还在寻找。我下午修改你的argu哦:) 对了你只要贴链接我就会修改你的文章，不用粘全文哦，是吧，嘿嘿

盈盈飞飞UID: 2217743

In this argument, the arguer recommends that the homeowners in Deerhaven Acres should follow the Brookville community to adopt a set of restriction on how the community's yards should ben landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted based on the assumption that the tripled average property values in Brookville community is mainly due to the adoption of this set of restriction. However, a thorough securitization of this assumption will reveal the fact that the above argument suffers from several major logical defects listed below.

First of all, the arguer unfairly assumes that the adoption of restriction set in Brookville community is the only reason that leads to the rise of average property values in this area. However, in the above （this）没主语了argument has provided no evidence to support the cause-and-effect relationship between the former and the latter. In addition, the arguer fails to notice other factors which can also attribute to such a significant rise of property values.  For instance, a new shopping mall may have been built in Brookville, attracting a number of dwellers or several new roads have been built leading to Brrokville, adding much traffic convenience. Without ruling out these and other删掉 possible factors that give rise to the increase of property values, the arguer cannot confidently draw the above conclusion.

The arguer also fails to notice the different characteristics between Brookville and Deerhaven Acres, which immediately refutes the simple analogy in the argument.
Though the two communities are geographically nearby, it does not mean that they are identical in terms of homeowners' preferences, living conditions, facilities and many other aspects. Even if the adoption of the restriction set was the only reason leading to property rise, homeowners in Deerhaven Acres may dislike landscaping the community’s yards or painting the exteriors of their homes. If so, the number of homeowners in Deerhaven Acres is likely to decrease and thus leading to a drop of average property values. Besides, if it is other factors that lead to the rise of property values in Brookville, Deerhaven Acres may not have them. For instance, with no shopping mall or no road built, Deerhaven Acres is less likely to witness the same rise even if it adopts similar restrictions as  Brookville did.   

Finally, the argument unfairly apply the successful experience of Brookville which occurred several years ago to the present Deerhaven Acres case. Over several years, both of the two communites have witnessed great changes in living environment, need of homeowners and public facilities. In Brookville, it may be some temporary and situational factors that lead to(lead to )是不是用的太多了？换个同义词来用用 the sudden and dramatic property boom. With time passing, it is likely that both communities have improved their living environment and facilities and the homeowners have changed to pursue diversity of house decoration. Great changes happened over time will definitely undermine the above argument.

In conclusion, to make it more convincing, the arguer would have to provide more evidence to prove the relation between the adoption of restrictions and the tripled property values. Besides, it is also essential for the arguer to rule out the impact of dissimilarities between two communities and the changes over time with sufficient evidence.
这是叶子的第一篇argument嘛？写的很好的说
逻辑错误批驳的主次很有序，很厉害呀
赞赞赞~~~

盈盈飞飞UID: 2217743

叶子叶子
偶像
那么晚还能写出这么好的文章
我昨晚上都是迷糊着在写
你的水平不用担心啦
现在刚写会超时
写几篇你就修成正果了

sandyfriendUID: 157486

太牛了学习的榜样把，
问一下，平时的词汇和语法怎么积累阿。
我的语法错误特多。

joey.liuUID: 2207101

多谢楼主，看来我要更加努力了，哈哈！

大家加油！

mercurywaterUID: 2179090

赞一下
我觉得lz的英语写作基础真的是很好，尤其是段子内部的连接，还有就是一些小词的使用，比如：due to/ suffers from/ ruling out / refutes /geographically nearby/ witness/
the tripled property values
还有就是确实像 盈盈飞飞 说的 leads to有点多，可以用 result in替替
总觉得三段这逻辑上是不是有点问题
Even if the adoption of the restriction set was the only reason leading to property rise, homeowners in Deerhaven Acres may dislike landscaping the community’s yards or painting the exteriors of their homes. If so, the number of homeowners in Deerhaven Acres is likely to decrease and thus leading to a drop of average property values.

但总之学习的地方有很多，也请lz 有空看看我写的

[ 本帖最后由 mercurywater 于 2006-6-3 21:26 编辑 ]

lixiaomin046400UID: 2207959

:)叶子写的真好啊，佩服！向你学习

biggestmouseUID: 2218003

写得太好了，提不出意见，郁闷，呵呵

benniUID: 2166321

行云流水，学习学习

728AWUID: 2216408

In this argument, the arguer recommends that the homeowners in Deerhaven Acres should follow the Brookville community to adopt a set of restriction on how the community's yards should ben landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted based on the assumption that the tripled average property values in Brookville community is mainly due to the adoption of this set of restriction. However, 此处叶子用这个作转折,不晓得什么意思,上句和下句有转折关系吗?a thorough securitization of this assumption will reveal the fact that the above argument suffers from several major logical defects listed below.

First of all, the arguer unfairly assumes that the adoption of restriction set in Brookville community is the only reason that leads to the rise of average property values in this area. However, in the above argument has provided no evidence to support the cause-and-effect relationship between the former and the latter. In addition, the arguer fails to notice other factors can also attribute to such a significant rise of property values.  For instance, a new shopping mall may have been built in Brookville, attracting a number of dwellers or several new roads have been built leading to Brrokville, adding much traffic convenience. Without ruling out these and other possible factors that give rise to the increase of property values, the arguer cannot confidently draw the above conclusion.

The arguer also fails to notice the different characteristics between Brookville and Deerhaven Acres, which immediately refutes the simple analogy in the argument.
Though the two communities are geographically nearby, it does not mean that they are identical in terms of homeowners' preferences, living conditions, facilities and many other aspects. Even if the adoption of the restriction set was the only reason leading to property rise, homeowners in Deerhaven Acres may dislike landscaping the community’s yards or painting the exteriors of their homes. If so, the number of homeowners in Deerhaven Acres is likely to decrease and thus leading to a drop of average property values. Besides, if it is other factors that lead to the rise of property values in Brookville, Deerhaven Acres may not have them. For instance, with no shopping mall or no road built, Deerhaven Acres is less likely to witness the same rise even if it adopts similar restrictions as  Brookville did.   

Finally, the argument unfairly apply the successful experience of Brookville which occurred seven years ago to the present Deerhaven Acres case. Over seven years, both of the two communites have witnessed great changes in living environment, need of homeowners and public facilities. In Brookville, it may be some temporary and situational factors that lead to the sudden and dramatic property boom. With time passing, it is likely that both communities have improved their living environment and facilities and the homeowners have changed to pursue diversity of house decoration. Great changes happened over time will definitely undermine the above argument.

In conclusion, to make it more convincing, the arguer would have to provide more evidence to prove the relation between the adoption of restrictions and the tripled property values. Besides, it is also essential for the arguer to rule out the impact of dissimilarities between two communities and the changes over time with sufficient evidence.

建议还是把文章放在 word里,有少量拼写错误.同时赞叹一下,叶子没放在word中直接写竟然会有那么少的拼写错误(<2个).厉害.
恩,逻辑清晰,每个意群连接时候用的连接词很好.
这个向叶子学习.
另有一点请教,关于开头,IMONG曾经用ETS范文论证过说不让RESTATE,不晓得叶子知不知道这个,希望小组一起讨论一下.

leaf99UID: 2174003

我不太清楚的，到群里讨论一下吧:)