SSCSUPERGIRL ISSUE51

ssc_supergirlUID: 2210517

Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed
to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
教育只有被专门设计来满足每一个学生个人需求和兴趣的时候才是真正有效率的。
1not every student is born to know what he or she desires,many great men find their true intrests through the general education.
2education's goals include one aspect to teach one how to find combination between self-achievement and the social condition. It is true that each individual's needs and interests would always be satisfied no matter in the educational field or other period of time.
3education 's depute role as a choice maker should be limited in some scope. as far as it finished the task of enlightening the students how to find their own desirments.or it will spoiled the imagination of the students and lose effects.
Education ,in some views, is supposed to fulfilled its responsibility effectively only by meeting each individual's needs and interests. However, in the real world ,this pattern of education is obviously impossible too costly to be carried out, moreover in deeper analysis, unreasonable to come into sense.
First, the speaker evidently fails to consider that if every student is born to know what he or she really desires. Taking choosing courses for example, most of the courses are completely brand new to the students, especially in the primary school, those little children even don't know how to get some information which can help them know more about the new curriculums, let alone find out whether those courses are favorable or not, after all, a choice making should  base on a fundamental inkling of the new courses. In this case, education should be devised to deputize those pupils to choose a comprehensive study in most basic disciplines so that they will at least have some contents to fill their first stage. This kind of exceeding duties seem to promise a balanced education not to cause students deviating at first. We can see education devised generally suitable shows its efficiency by helping the novices get out of the embarrassment of primary utterly ignorance.
Secondly, an unlimitedly meet to the individuals' satisfactions will spoil them by nourish self-central thoughts pattern, which apparently impairs the efficiency of education. Considering that one of  education goals is to impart those adolescents how to be wide-minded ,tolerant enough to comprehend and adapt this world ,especially to let them know the absolute truism that this world can work normally without caring about whether each individual is offended by overlooking personal interests and needs.I remembered that Einstein did not like math at his early age, yet his uncle persuaded him by some enlightening way, and he at last stood on the Nobel prize honor stage. Suppose that without being characterized as compulsory , how can so many difficult sciences such as maths reach so wide a study group. Little children are natural math-zealots, whereas education offers them a opportunity not to be influenced by prejudice from those failures. However, according to the speaker, this necessity will undermine the meaning of education for it may be against some personal dislikes, albeit some are caused by misunderstanding and are pratialness.
Admitted, delicate modes aiming at personal desires are sometimes considerably advantageous. Just think about those disabled students ,their needs are totally different from the ordinary people. Under this circumstance,  similar treatments without any distinction will show unfairness, and indeed lacking efficiency. By reviewing the growth of Helen Keller ,the greatest blind writer in history, without the special instructions from her patient abecedarian who submitted to her first uncivilized rudeness ,she would be a predeterminate nobody. But even in this situation, we can discover that this noble gardener changed her subliminally in stead of a blindly suppleness. So a smart combination of two attitudes works effectually.
So, in conclusion, the arbitrary preference to unilaterally student-centered all the time is unwise, and either meaningless. Generally speaking, Education has to prepare students for some basic faculties to decide what are really interesting and worth demanding, despite risking the misunderstanding as being dogmatic. Still, it should return the freedom to the mature spirits and fulfill its liability to suffice their reasonable choice, then we could safely call it as most effective.

expire7UID: 2160574

楼主的题目格式不对，请按照置顶格式修改。不然没有人改哦。

Tomas007UID: 2107663

Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed
to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
教育只有被专门设计来满足每一个学生个人需求和兴趣的时候才是真正有效率的。
1not every student is born to know(be born with the self-knowledge on) what he or she desires,many great men find their true intrests through the general education.
2education's goals include one aspect to teach one how to find combination between self-achievement and the social condition. It is true that each individual's needs and interests would always be satisfied no matter in the educational field or other period of time.
3education 's depute role as a choice maker should be limited in some scope. as far as it finished the task of enlightening the students how to find their own desirments. or it will spoiled the imagination of the students and lose effects.
Education ,in some views, is supposed to fulfilled its responsibility effectively only by meeting each individual's needs and interests. However, in the real world (In fact), this pattern of education is obviously impossible (and) too costly to be carried out, moreover in deeper analysis, unreasonable to come into sense.
First, the speaker evidently fails to consider that if every student is born to know what he or she really desires. Taking choosing courses (elective system选课制度) for example, most of the courses are completely brand new to the students, especially in the primary school, those little children even don't know how to get some information which can help them know more about the new curriculums, let alone find out whether those courses are favorable or not, after all, a choice making should  base on a fundamental inkling of the new courses. In this case, education should be devised to deputize those pupils to choose a comprehensive study in most basic disciplines so that they will at least have some contents to fill their first stage. This kind of exceeding duties seem to promise a balanced education not to cause students deviating at first. We can see education devised generally suitable shows its efficiency by helping the novices get out of the embarrassment of primary utterly ignorance.
Secondly, an unlimitedly (excessively) meet to the individuals' satisfactions will spoil them by nourish self-central thoughts pattern, which apparently impairs the efficiency of education. Considering that one of  education goals is to impart those adolescents how to be wide-minded ,tolerant enough to comprehend and adapt this world ,especially to let them know the absolute truism that this world can work normally without caring about whether each individual is offended by overlooking personal interests and needs.(太长了，结构有些乱，似乎没有主语) I remembered that Einstein did not like math at his early age, yet his uncle persuaded him by some enlightening way, and he at last stood on the Nobel prize honor stage. Suppose that without being characterized as compulsory , how can so many difficult sciences such as maths (math) reach so wide a study group. Little children are (often) natural math-zealots, whereas education offers them a(an) opportunity not to be influenced by prejudice from those failures. However, according to the speaker, this necessity will undermine the meaning of education for it may be against some personal dislikes, albeit some are caused by misunderstanding and are pratialness.
Admitted (Admittedly), delicate modes aiming at personal desires are sometimes considerably advantageous. Just think about those disabled(handicapped 残疾的) students ,their needs are totally different from the ordinary people. Under this circumstance,  similar treatments without any distinction will show unfairness, and indeed lacking efficiency. By reviewing the growth of Helen Keller ,the greatest blind writer in history, without the special instructions from her patient abecedarian who submitted to her first uncivilized rudeness ,she would be a predeterminate nobody. But even in this situation, we can discover that this noble gardener changed her subliminally in stead of a blindly suppleness. So a smart combination of two attitudes works effectually.
So, in conclusion, the arbitrary preference to unilaterally student-centered all the time is unwise, and either meaningless. Generally speaking, Education has to prepare students for some basic faculties to decide what are really interesting and worth demanding, despite risking the misunderstanding as being dogmatic. Still, it should return the freedom to the mature spirits and fulfill its liability to suffice their reasonable choice, then we could safely call it as most effective.

从行文来看，开篇开门见山，不做过多铺垫，三言两语点明文章中心，非常好。是老外比较欣赏的开头方式，希望保持，也同时非常值得我学习。结尾不但小结并再次提出中心，并在最后一句提出希望，很好。（如“追星剑特训”所述）
这两点，可见笔者对范文吃得够深，不落俗套。同时字数完全达到要求，580字，非常到位了。
但有以下几点需要注意：
1，        在把握速度的同时，也要注意准确度，比如我修改的一些小错误，认真点应该可以避免。
2，        有的地方行为过于追求表达的复杂，有的显得不那么通顺。如我上面做标记的第三段的长句。要记住，简洁是第一位的，GRE的复杂句子，是因其要求简明扼要，大量句子压缩而产生的，而不是因追求复杂而复杂。因而简洁而后复杂是最高目标，也是我们共同努力的方向。
_ means sth needed to be amended;
Sth in the () is my amendment;
~means sth excellent;

Tomas007UID: 2107663