ARGUMENT147 [越洋农场站队]Pewcg8第一次限时

pewcg8UID: 2143213

TOPIC: ARGUMENT147 - The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
WORDS: 500          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2006-6-26

In the editorial, the arguer claim that the sales of Whirlwind video games will increase despite the slump of its market nowadays. He quote a seemingly grounded and well conducted survey to support his recommendation. Moreover, the author also points out that the advertising campaign might work. While in some aspects these evidence do show that the company did a lot to regain its market, the overall claim of the author is absolutely ungrounded.

The survey itself lacks a series of statistics without which, the author's claim can not make any sense. The author does not make it clear how many people attended the survey, what are those people consist of. Without these factors, we do not clearly know weather this survey reflect those customers' will. Surveys done throughout only young people or only man can never show what other players think. In addition, although it might be true that plays pay great attention to the lifelike graphic in a video game, it does not mean any games with a vivid picture will be popular. Players play video games to have fun and relax themselves, whether a game is easy to play or whether it is produced by famous game-makers......such factors will also be vital in determine if players will by the game or not.

Then, the advertising campaign, you can recognize at first glance, is only conducted in people ages 10 to 25, which is definitely not persuasive. Although these age-group are most likely to play games, other people are as significant as these. Imagine a advertising campaign only aimed at a small group of people, then it is quite possible that other people will never be interest in the game and this game will eventually lose its market to the companies who deal with their customers as a whole.

Another problem, and maybe no subtler than the proceeding two, is that the author do know that the company' sales decreased over the past two years. Without investigating into what the company's  current problems are, the author can not ensure us that the company, after producing these kind of new video games, will regain its market. Without solving the company's existing trouble, it is possible that these problems will still come out to prevent the company from regaining it customers. For instance, the company might used to sell video games at a high price, and which surely makes some people unwilling to buy its products, if the company keep on selling its new games at a high price, though these new games are with lifelike scenes, it still can not persuade customers to buy its new videos.

In sum, the author lacks neither enough statistics nor evidences regarding the company’s current problems that might be the reason of the decrease in the sales to make a logical claim. The evidences cited in the argument are not well connected to make a cause and effect relationship. With such illogical reasoning, the author’s claim is absolutely not practical.
时间最后有点来不及，所以结尾写的很难看，容我明天改改．

paris_zhUID: 2126434

我觉得挺好，思路很清晰的，分别对三大事物进行攻击，语言也似乎很老练~
总之比我强~~
大家加油哦~~

monkeycolaUID: 2206472

In the editorial, the arguer claims that the sales of Whirlwind video games will increase despite the slump of its market nowadays. He quotes a seemingly grounded and well conducted survey to support his recommendation. Moreover, the author also points out that the advertising campaign might work. While in some aspects these evidence do show that the company did a lot to regain its market, the overall claim of the author is absolutely ungrounded.

The survey itself lacks a series of statistics without which(看不懂), the author's claim can not make any sense. The author does not make it clear how many people attended the survey, what are those people consist of. Without these factors（你的意思我懂，但是你表达的不好，我建议你看看范文，当作者要驳斥数据和调查时的常用句型）, we do not clearly know weather this survey reflect those customers' will. Surveys done throughout only young people or only man can never show what other players think. In addition, although it might be true that plays pay great attention to the lifelike graphic in a video game, it does not mean any games with a vivid picture will be popular among the players. Players play video games to have fun and relax themselves, whether a game is easy to play or whether it is produced by famous game-makers......such factors will also be vital to determine if(whether) players will by the game or not.

Then, the advertising campaign, you can recognize at first glance, is only conducted in people ages 10 to 25, which is definitely not persuasive. Although these age-group are most likely to play games, other people are as significant as these. Imagine an advertising campaign only aimed at a small group of people, then it is quite possible that other people will never be interest in the game and this game will eventually lose its market to the companies who deal with their customers as a whole.

Another problem, and maybe no subtler than the proceeding two, is that the author do know that the company' sales decreased over the past two years. Without investigating into what the company's  current problems are, the author can not ensure us that the company, after producing these kind of new video games, will regain its market. Without solving the company's existing trouble, it is possible that these problems will still come out to prevent the company from regaining it customers. For instance, the company might used to sell video games at a high price, and which surely makes some people unwilling to buy its products, if the company keep on selling its new games at a high price, though these new games are with lifelike scenes, it still can not persuade customers to buy its new videos.这段写的可以，驳斥的精彩！

In sum, the author lacks neither enough statistics nor evidences regarding the company’s current problems that might be the reason of the decrease in the sales to make a logical claim. The evidences cited in the argument are not well connected to make a cause and effect relationship. With such illogical reasoning, the author’s claim is absolutely not practical.
时间最后有点来不及，所以结尾写的很难看，容我明天改改．
总结：这篇写的还可以，但是我感觉结构不好，