issue88 Ares战队第二次作业

Tomas007UID: 2107663

TOPIC: ISSUE88 - "Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics."
WORDS: 372          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2006-6-28

Technologies, no matter stone tools developed by our predecessors or auto-machines emerged nowadays, has been influencing our social customs, ethics, and even the whole society deeply. However, it is the only function that technologies affect to our human beings. The determination for our improved social customs and ethics is nothing but the human beings pursuit.

From the age in which stone tools were developed by our predecessors, our society has been fully influenced. The effectiveness of hunting animals is so increasingly improved that there were plenty of people are available for other producing, such the farming and the tool producing. The whole society was soon developed to fit for such pattern: the cooperation has then emerged. The current technologies have also influenced our society in depth. It is the Industry Revolution that make us suit for the current life and working style-- the high working paces, bright sitting room with the electric bulbs, the oversea contact using telephone. Furthermore, the Information Revolution provokes our human being into another style. With the support of laptops and internet, lots of people do not have to drive to the office on time. All their working pattern contains two action: clicking the mouse and keyboard, and just making any decision they need. That is incredible for the old time, even in the past twenty years.

However, no matter how deeply technologies influence to our society, what they can do is just influence us, but not determine. The only thing that determines the social customs and ethics, is the human's pursuit, and human being themselves. Undoubtedly, without the pursuit, the technologies will not develop in such a high speed. It is the curiosity that drove Newton thinking about Newton Three rules from the simple falling apple; it is also the pursuit of contacting each other at anytime, anywhere that have engineers develop the internet technologies; it is of course the dream for outside space that make our human being launching one after another rocket and spaceship. It is our human beings and our permanent pursuits that drive and determine the society and the whole world.

Consequently, thousands of technologies did influence our society in very depth. But it is just their merely roles for human beings.

字数太少了，看来要好好练。

gamblerboUID: 2212217

issue88 Ares战队第二次作业

TOPIC: ISSUE88 - "Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics."
WORDS: 372          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2006-6-28

Technologies, no matter stone tools developed by our predecessors or auto-machines emerged nowadays, has [have] been influencing our social customs, ethics, and even the whole society deeply. However, it is the only function that technologies affect to our human beings. The determination for our improved social customs and ethics is nothing but the human beings pursuit.
[However, it is nothing but human beings’ pursuit that determines our increasingly improved social customs and ethics while technologies only affect but do not determine them.  ]

From the age in which stone tools were developed by our predecessors [on 或者 to now], our society has been fully influenced  [by technologies]. The effectiveness of hunting animals is so increasingly improved that there were plenty of people are available for other producing, such the farming and the tool producing. The whole society was soon developed to fit for such pattern: the cooperation has then emerged. The current technologies have also influenced our society in depth. It is the Industry Revolution that make [makes] us suit for the current life and working style-- the high working paces, bright sitting room with the electric bulbs, the oversea contact using telephone. Furthermore, the Information Revolution provokes our human being into another style. With the support of laptops and internet, lots of people do not have to drive to the office on time. All their working pattern contains [All their working patterns contain] two action [actions]: clicking the mouse and keyboard, and just making any decision they need. That is incredible for the old time, even in the past twenty years.
[最好是提一下ethics方面。]
However, no matter how deeply technologies influence to our society, what they can do is just influence us, but not determine. The only thing that determines the social customs and ethics, is the human's pursuit, and human being themselves. Undoubtedly, without the pursuit, the technologies will not develop in such a high speed. It is the curiosity that drove Newton thinking about Newton Three rules from the simple falling apple; it is also the pursuit of contacting each other at anytime, anywhere that have engineers develop the internet technologies; it is of course the dream for outside space that make our human being launching one after another rocket and spaceship. It is our human beings and our permanent pursuits that drive and determine the society and the whole world.

Consequently, thousands of technologies did influence our society in very depth. But it is just their merely roles for human beings.

字数太少了，看来要好好练。
[我试图来再现你的思路。你可以看一下，你要表达的意思在阅读者的头脑中重现了吗？：0
1，        论点：不是科技而是人类自身决定社会习俗和道德伦理，虽然科技有着重要作用。
2，        论证：科技对人类社会生活方式的影响。（such pattern-> the current life and working style->another style）
3，        论证：人类自身（或人类追求）决定社会乃至整个世界。（It is our human beings and our permanent pursuits that drive and determine the society and the whole world.）
4，        总结：
]
你自己觉得有问题吗？

个人建议：
1，        有大致思路再动手。
2，        在写作的时候，不仅仅是在开头句照应论点（The only thing that determines the social customs and ethics, is the human's pursuit, and human being themselves.），在段落中论证的时候也最好多一些照应。简单解决方法：论点关键词重复。当然，如果能够在内容上与中心论点相互呼应（或对论点有力支持）才是最高境界。
3，        加油！期盼你的更进一步的提高。