Argument53 [Smile]第一次作业

xinxinwUID: 2144273

TOPIC: ARGUMENT53
- Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
WORDS: 81          TIME: 0:04:17          DATE: 2006-7-21

Outline:
1. The study is poorly conducted for the small sample size. No comparison with other groups is provided to judge if the distress in this group is significantly more severe.
2. Concurrence of the increased level of melatonin and getting pregnant does not necessarily support the cause and effect relationship between them. The specific function of the hormone is not fully understood.
3. The arguer fails to rule out other postnatal factors that could cause the shyness of the respondents.



The arguer cites the results of a study on a group of infants, carried out thirteen years ago, to reach the claim that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness of infancy. Also, he generalized the effect of melatonin to late life according to a follow-up study on the same group of children. If we examine the argument carefully, we would find that the seemingly reasonable conclusion is poorly supported for the arguer commits several logic fallacies in reaching the conclusion.

In the first place, the former study on the group of infants is too poorly conducted to draw any tenable conclusion. For one thing, the total number of 25 infants is too small a sample size to represent the general situation. For another thing, no detailed information on the degree of the distress of the infants in comparison with other groups of infants that are conceived in other time are not mentioned. Lacking the data I request above, we are not able to judge whether the target group of infants showed significantly severe distress to the stimuli.

Also a significant fallacy is the arguer's hasty assertion that the reason for the distress of the infants, if any, is the increase levels of melatonin production of their mother. We are not informed with the specific function of the hormone to the human brain. Furthermore, whether melatonin would affect mothers' brain or the infants' brain are not clearly explored. The concurrence of the increased level of melatonin of the mothers and the pregnancy of the infants, itself, are far from rooted evidence to establish the cause and effect relationship between the two.

Before I come to my final conclusion, I would like to point out that the tracking study upon which the author deduces the effect of melatonin into later life is also ungrounded. The arguer overlooks the postnatal factors that could, to be sure, influence people's character and may serve as the real cause of the teenagers. Among theses factors are the growing environment, stress from earlier education and pressures from their parents. Without ruling out all the possible causes to the responded shyness of the group, the arguer’s allegation that the shyness of the infants continues to their later life is unconvincing.

In conclusion, the argument lacks credulity because the arguer provides no substantiated evidence to verify the distress of the group and to support the connection between melatonin and the distress. To strengthen the argument, the arguer needs to provide detailed data concerning about the degree of the distress and shyness of the group. Also, other possible causes of the claimed distress are required to be ruled out.

狠拍吧！有拍必回

[ 本帖最后由 xinxinw 于 2006-7-21 23:30 编辑 ]

zhy5186612UID: 2167373

TOPIC: ARGUMENT53
- Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
WORDS: 81          TIME: 0:04:17          DATE: 2006-7-21

Outline:
1. The study is poorly conducted for the small sample size. No comparison with other groups is provided to judge if the distress in this group is significantly more severe.（似乎牵强）
2. Concurrence of the increased level of melatonin and getting pregnant does not necessarily support the cause and effect relationship between them. The specific function of the hormone is not fully understood.
3. The arguer fails to rule out other postnatal factors that could cause the shyness of the respondents.（:handshake，我感觉这1和3才是应该主要攻击的）



The arguer cites [cited]the results of a study on a group of infants, carried out thirteen years ago, to reach the claim that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness of infancy. Also, he [or she] generalized[?] the effect of melatonin to late life according to a follow-up study on the same group of children. If we examine the argument carefully, we would find that the seemingly reasonable conclusion is poorly supported for the arguer commits several logic fallacies in reaching the conclusion.

In the first place, the former study on the group of infants is too poorly conducted to draw any tenable conclusion. For one thing, the total number of 25 infants is too small a sample size to represent the general situation. For another thing, no detailed information on the degree of the distress of the infants in comparison with other groups of infants that are conceived in other time are not mentioned[文中提了这些婴儿是轻微不适，应该是和其他正常的比较才可以说轻微不适，如果只有这一组反应都大致相同，怎么能说轻微不适呢？ 我也不确定这点:lol]. Lacking the data I request[-ed] above, we are not able to judge whether the target group of infants showed significantly severe distress to the stimuli.

Also a significant fallacy is the arguer's hasty assertion that the reason for the distress of the infants, if any, is the increase levels of melatonin production of their mother. We are not informed with the specific function of the hormone to the human brain. Furthermore, whether[how好点吧？文中告诉melatonin确实影响部分脑功能了] melatonin would affect mothers' brain or the infants' brain are not clearly explored. The concurrence of the increased level of melatonin of the mothers and the pregnancy of the infants, itself, are far from rooted evidence to establish the cause and effect relationship between the two.[这是一个逻辑错误，但也没有很好地展开，比如其他可能原因之类的]

Before I come to my final conclusion, I would like to point out that the tracking study upon which the author deduces [-ed] the effect of melatonin into later life is also ungrounded [groundless好些好像？]. The arguer overlooks [-ed] the postnatal factors that could, to be sure, influence people's character and may serve as the real cause of the teenagers ['shyness]. Among theses factors are the growing environment, stress from earlier education and pressures from their parents. Without ruling out all the possible causes to the responded shyness of the group, the arguer’s allegation that the shyness of the infants continues to their later life is unconvincing.

In conclusion, the argument lacks credulity because the arguer provides no substantiated evidence to verify the distress of the group and to support the connection between melatonin and the distress. To strengthen the argument, the arguer needs to provide detailed data concerning about the degree of the distress and shyness of the group. Also, other possible causes of the claimed distress are required to be ruled out.
总体评价 （个人感觉哈:lol）
1 文章四平八稳
2 词汇和句式都挺好。（PF个先）
3 有些观点展开的不够。

[ 本帖最后由 zhy5186612 于 2006-7-22 10:24 编辑 ]

vitaminxixiUID: 2159890

Outline:
1. The study is poorly conducted for the small sample size. No comparison with other groups is provided to judge if the distress in this group is significantly more severe.[这里有疑惑。原文说researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress 并未提到比其他婴儿严重或不严重，只是提供一个事实，那就是他们做实验的婴儿是有这种特点的，因此这样驳斥似乎不妥]
2. Concurrence of the increased level of melatonin and getting pregnant does not necessarily support the cause and effect relationship between them. The specific function of the hormone is not fully understood.
3. The arguer fails to rule out other postnatal factors that could cause the shyness of the respondents.



The arguer cites the results of a study on a group of infants, carried out thirteen years ago, to reach the claim that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness[distress（during infancy the arguer didn’t mention shyness）] of infancy. Also, he generalized the effect of melatonin to late [later] life according to a follow-up study on the same group of children. If we examine the argument carefully, we would find that the seemingly reasonable conclusion is poorly supported for the arguer commits several logic fallacies in reaching the conclusion.

In the first place, the former study on the group of infants is too poorly conducted to draw any tenable conclusion. For one thing, the total number of 25 infants is too small a sample size to represent the general situation. For another thing, no detailed information on the degree of the distress of the infants in comparison with other groups of infants that are conceived in other time [换个句式可能更好可改为no detailed information on the degree of distress compared to infants that are conceived in other time] are[is] not [前面既然有no detailed information 此处就应该是肯定]mentioned. Lacking the data I request above, we are not able to judge whether the target group of infants showed significantly severe distress to the stimuli.

Also a significant fallacy is the arguer's hasty assertion that the reason for the distress of the infants, if any, is the increase levels of melatonin production of their mother. We are not informed with the specific function of the hormone to the human brain. Furthermore, whether melatonin would affect mothers' brain or the infants' brain are [is] not clearly explored. The concurrence of the increased level of melatonin of the mothers and the pregnancy of the infants, itself, are far from rooted evidence to establish the cause and effect relationship between the two.

Before I come to my final conclusion, I would like to point out that the tracking study upon which the author deduces the effect of melatonin into later life is also ungrounded. The arguer overlooks the postnatal factors that could, to be sure, influence people's character and may serve as the real cause of the teenagers. Among theses factors are the growing environment, stress from earlier education and pressures from their parents. Without ruling out all the possible causes to the responded shyness of the group, the arguer’s allegation that the shyness of the infants continues to their later life is unconvincing.

In conclusion, the argument lacks credulity because the arguer provides no substantiated evidence to verify the distress of the group[group的ｄｉｓｔｒｅｓｓ是可证实的但整体特性不可证实] and to support the connection between melatonin and the distress. To strengthen the argument, the arguer needs to provide detailed data concerning about the degree of the distress and shyness of the group. Also, other possible causes of the claimed distress are required to be ruled out.


挺佩服的，语言具有变化性且用语准确，文章读起来有节奏感，很舒服，可见功底不浅。

dychangfengUID: 2216148

Outline:
1. The study is poorly conducted for the small sample size. No comparison with other groups is provided to judge if the distress in this group is significantly more severe.
2. Concurrence of the increased level of melatonin and getting pregnant does not necessarily support the cause and effect relationship between them. The specific function of the hormone is not fully understood.
3. The arguer fails to rule out other postnatal factors that could cause the shyness of the respondents.



The arguer cites the results of a study on a group of infants, carried out thirteen years ago, to reach the claim that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness of infancy. Also, he generalized the effect of melatonin to late life according to a follow-up study on the same group of children. If we examine the argument carefully, we would find that the seemingly reasonable conclusion is poorly supported for the arguer commits several logic fallacies in reaching the conclusion.

In the first place, the former study on the group of infants is too poorly conducted to draw any tenable conclusion. For one thing, the total number of 25 infants is too small a sample size to represent the general situation. For another thing, no detailed information on the degree of the distress of the infants in comparison with other groups of infants that are conceived in other time are not mentioned. Lacking the data I request above, we are not able to judge whether the target group of infants showed significantly severe distress to the stimuli.（how this study was conducted? 我认为这段该详写，样本大小，来源问题，这里提到对照组的问题还是相当难得的）
Also a significant fallacy is the arguer's hasty assertion that the reason for the distress of the infants, if any, is the increase levels of melatonin production of their mother. We are not informed with the specific function of the hormone to the human brain. Furthermore, whether melatonin would affect mothers' brain or the infants' brain are not clearly explored. The concurrence of the increased level of melatonin of the mothers and the pregnancy of the infants, itself, are far from rooted evidence to establish the cause and effect relationship between the two.(这段论证相当全面）Before I come to my final conclusion, I would like to point out that the tracking study upon which the author deduces the effect of melatonin into later life is also ungrounded. The arguer overlooks the postnatal（potential) factors that could, to be sure, influence people's character and may serve as the real cause of the teenagers. Among theses factors are the growing environment, stress from earlier education and pressures from their parents. Without ruling out all the possible causes(删掉 ）to the responded shyness of the group, the arguer’s allegation that the shyness of the infants continues to their later life is unconvincing.

In conclusion, the argument lacks credulity（credibility) because the arguer provides no substantiated evidence to verify the distress of the group and to support the connection between melatonin and the distress. To strengthen the argument, the arguer needs to provide detailed data concerning about the degree of the distress and shyness of the group （and the sample is effective and representative,既然说就说全了吧). Also, other possible causes of the claimed distress are required to be ruled out.

大的漏洞都攻击到了，词汇也蛮丰富，看来已经很娴熟了，可以不怕考官拍考试去了:p

枫晰UID: 2123661

The arguer cites the results of a study on a group of infants, carried out thirteen years ago, to reach the claim that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness of infancy. Also, he generalized the effect of melatonin to late life according to a follow-up study on the same group of children. If we examine the argument carefully, we would find that the seemingly reasonable conclusion is poorly supported for the arguer commits several logic fallacies in reaching the conclusion.

In the first place, the former study on the group of infants is too poorly conducted to draw any tenable conclusion. For one thing, the total number of 25 infants is too small a sample size to represent the general situation. For another thing, no detailed information on the degree of the distress of the infants in comparison with other groups of infants that are conceived in other time are not mentioned. Lacking the data I request above, we are not able to judge whether the target group of infants showed significantly severe distress to the stimuli.

Also a significant fallacy is the arguer's hasty assertion that the reason for the distress of the infants, if any, is the increase levels of melatonin production of their mother. We are not informed with the specific function of the hormone to the human brain. Furthermore, whether melatonin would affect mothers' brain or the infants' brain are not clearly explored. The concurrence of the increased level of melatonin of the mothers and the pregnancy of the infants, itself, are far from rooted evidence to establish the cause and effect relationship between the two.

Before I come to my final conclusion, I would like to point out that the tracking study upon which the author deduces the effect of melatonin into later life is also ungrounded. The arguer overlooks the postnatal factors that could, to be sure, influence people's character and may serve as the real cause of the teenagers. Among theses factors are the growing environment, stress from earlier education and pressures from their parents. Without ruling out all the possible causes to the responded shyness of the group, the arguer’s allegation that the shyness of the infants continues to their later life is unconvincing.

In conclusion, the argument lacks credulity because the arguer provides no substantiated evidence to verify the distress of the group and to support the connection between melatonin and the distress. To strengthen the argument, the arguer needs to provide detailed data concerning about the degree of the distress and shyness of the group. Also, other possible causes of the claimed distress are required to be ruled out.
总体来说,是一片很好的文章,特别是提到了对比试验
但是如果能在对比试验,那加一些影响的细节,以及后面的例子稍微写一点细节或许会更好
这只是一点建议
拍的不好别打我哦,
希望大家很很的来拍我的:)

monica98UID: 2124796

同样觉得你的第一攻击有点过，题目没有比较distress的问题。
M的影响大脑一些功能题目好像是默认的，到是你置疑对妈妈和小孩的大脑的影响很准确^_^pf。前面genichen的文章也攻击了这点，不过没有你攻击的这么准确。