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[a习作temp] Argument117 清凉夏日小组 [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-8-2 00:30:48 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
117The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.

"Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores."

原题逻辑总结:
70%的回复说被要求带更多的工作回家→
machines和supplies需求增加→
增加库存(地理上的问题)→
Most profitable component

The author concludes that Valu-Mart’s office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of all Valu-mart’s stores if they increase the stock of home office machines and supplies at all the stores. This argument is unconvincing as there are several logical flaws in its reasoning.

First, the author assumes that the demand for home office machines and supplies will increase. His/her assumption is based on a survey in which 70 percent of the respondents said they are required to take more work home from the workplace than before. However, the result of the survey is insufficient evidence to support that there will be an increase in the demand for home office machines and supplies. Firstly, the survey should be able to represent all the people who live and work in the geographic area that Valu-mart has covered. Bu the author fails to provide any information about who take part in the survey and he/she also fails to rule out the possibility that only workers who have to take more work home than before responded to the survey because they are more concerned about their workload than other workers. Secondly, even if there is this work-at-home trend, it is insufficient to prove that there will be an increasing demand for office-machines and supplies. The author fails to consider other relevant factors that may affect the demand for home-office products, such as the typical working patterns of the workers. For example, it is possible that, with the popularization of portable computers, paper is not a big part in people’s work, so even though these workers bring a lot of work home, they need no more office appliance than a laptop. So a trend of bringing work home does not necessarily means a higher demand for home office machines and supplies.

In addition, even though there is a higher demand for home-office machines and supplies, the author does not give any other reason why Valu-mart should increase its stores’ stock of home-office machines and supplies. The argument ignores other factors that could affect the profit of Valu-mart’s office supply departments. It is obvious that, to increase the stock, the stores need to invest more money. The author does not consider this increase in the cost which could affect the profit altogether with the revenue. The author also fails to consider the geographic factor, because the increase in demand for home-office products is a general condition, but there might be difference between all the areas that Valu-mart covers. So for different areas, it is advisable to implement different policies.

Finally, even though the departments make better profit at home-office products by increasing their stock of these products, there is no evidence available to show that the office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of Valu-mart. The author ignores the relation between home-office products and all office products. It is possible that the home-office products market only makes up a small portion of the whole market of office products, because the governments and the private sector buy a lot more office machines and supplies than individuals who do work at home. Also, the author does not provide any information about the profits of other departments. So it is assertive to say that the office-supply departments will make the most profit.

In conclusion, the author’s suggestion that Valu-mart stores should increase the stock of home office products in unconvincing. To strengthen his argument, the author needs to provide more information about the survey and about people’s working styles. He also needs to take into account the cost of increasing the stock as well as the geographic factor.


[ 本帖最后由 Psychocandy 于 2006-8-2 00:44 编辑 ]
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沙发
发表于 2006-8-2 02:29:22 |只看该作者
有个疑问:ETS上的Argument范文和北美范文完全不是一路的,考试是按北美的套路写会不会出问题?

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板凳
发表于 2006-8-2 03:53:07 |只看该作者
汗,没看过北美范文.
有可下载的电子版本吗?

我准备套路还是按自己的吧.
有些东西模仿也模仿不来,反而不好.

[ 本帖最后由 Psychocandy 于 2006-8-2 03:56 编辑 ]

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地板
发表于 2006-8-5 21:40:47 |只看该作者
good job!我赞成你这种写法,不要拘泥于模版,问题分析得不错,加油!
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