argument147 [smile-B组] 第七次作业，砖头雨啊！～

applehattieUID: 2195344

1.The evidence that the arguer provides is insufficient to support the conclusion that the declining sales trend is about to be reversed.
2.The author fails to convince us that with an extensive advertising campaign the sales of W would increase dramatically.
3. Without excluding other possible alternatives, which may cause the sale’s declining, the deduction is unconvincing.


By the evidence that players thought the most important feature in the games is the lifelike graphics and the extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the author allege that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically. After careful pondering, I find this argument suffers from several flaws.

Firstly, the evidence that the arguer provides is insufficient to support the deduction that the Whirlwind video games with lifelike graphics would be popular among the players. The result of the study indicates that many players prefer the games that provide lifelike graphics. But vivid graphics is not the only elements that decide whether the video games are attractive to players. If the players do not like the story line the games contain, they would not buy them. It also might be the case that the players think the games are lacking excitement and enjoyment, so there is no reason to waste money. So without ruling out the possibilities I discuss here, the allegation is ungrounded.

Secondly, the author fails to convince us that with the extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old the sales of Whirlwind video games would increase dramatically. We are not quite sure that the people 10 to 25 years old are the group most likely to play video games. Maybe most teenagers are restricted seriously by their parents that they cannot play those video games, for the reason that it would not only distracted them from the learning but also influence their health. Maybe the people 20 to 25 years old are too busy to play games, since part of them are at college and they have to earn their tuition when they continue further study, and the rest must make every effort to perform excellently at work in order to increase their salary and get promoted.

Last but not least, without excluding other possible alternative, the argument is gratuitous. Maybe the respondents of study are not the same group people that the company aims to introduce their video games. And perhaps the economy is in depression, and even the company spares no effort to propagandize the Whirlwind video games, people do not have extra money to purchase them.  

In conclusion, this argument seems to be plausible, in fact, it is neither sound nor warranted. If the arguer provide substantial evidence to prove that the video games would be popular among the players, and include the other given factors discussed above, it will be thorough and persuasive.

[ 本帖最后由 applehattie 于 2006-8-5 11:45 编辑 ]

zhy5186612UID: 2167373

1.The evidence that the arguer provides is insufficient to support the conclusion that the declining sales trend is about to be reversed.
2.The author fails to convince us that with an extensive advertising campaign the sales of W would increase dramatically.
3. Without excluding other possible alternatives, which may cause the sale’s declining, the deduction is unconvincing.


By the evidence that players thought the most important feature in the games is the lifelike graphics and the extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old [这句挺好], the author allege that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically. After careful pondering, I find this argument suffers from several flaws.

Firstly, the evidence that the arguer provides is insufficient to support the deduction that the Whirlwind video games with lifelike graphics would be popular among the players. The result of the study indicates that many players prefer the games that provide lifelike graphics. But vivid graphics is not the only elements [element] that decide whether the video games are attractive to players. If the players do not like the story line [这个我也不知道怎么说，story stucture?] the games contain, they would not buy them. It also might be the case that the players think the games are lacking [are lacking --lack] excitement and enjoyment [这样表达不大地道 感觉], so there is no reason to waste money. So without ruling out the possibilities I discuss here, the allegation is ungrounded.

Secondly, the author fails to convince us that with the extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old the sales of Whirlwind video games would increase dramatically. We are not quite sure that the people 10 to 25 years old are the group most likely to play video games [这个理由不是太好]. Maybe most teenagers are restricted seriously by their parents that they cannot play those video games, for the reason that it would not only distracted them from the learning but also influence [influence--damage] their health. Maybe the people 20 to 25 years old are too busy to play games, since part of them are at college and they have to earn their tuition when they continue  further study, and the rest must make every effort to perform excellently at work in order to increase their salary and get promoted. [这段写得有点怪感觉，其实你直接说，那个study的对象不一定是20 to 25 ，就好了]

Last but not least, without excluding other possible alternative, the argument is gratuitous. Maybe the respondents of study are not the same group people that the company aims to introduce their video games. And perhaps the economy is in depression, and even the company spares no effort to propagandize the Whirlwind video games, people do not have extra money to purchase them.  

In conclusion, this argument seems to be plausible, in fact, it is neither sound nor warranted. If the arguer provide substantial evidence to prove that the video games would be popular among the players, and include the other given factors discussed above, it will be thorough and persuasive.

个人意见， 大家商量哈
1 句子和词汇用的都听好了 PF
2 你这片A写得有点乱，而且攻击顺序我认为有点问题，我个人认为这片A逻辑：
Study
  |                              ----------------〉increase of sales
公司策略（铲品和广告）
即作者认为公司策略符合study 的结果所以increase of sales ， 因此攻击方法是
1）study 有问题
2）铲品和广告有问题（那个study的对象不一定是20 to 25）
3）即时符合，还有他因影响sales ，比如其他竞争者
3 你快考试了，看你A老是换模版，其实A只要逻辑对了就可以很大程度拿高分的；所以建议你模版固定下来，连限时啦。
共同进步哈 不知道你怎么想？

[ 本帖最后由 zhy5186612 于 2006-8-5 20:48 编辑 ]

vitaminxixiUID: 2159890

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
1.        The evidence that the arguer provides is insufficient to support the conclusion that the declining sales trend is about to be reversed.
2.The author fails to convince us that with an extensive advertising campaign the sales of W would increase dramatically.
3. Without excluding other possible alternatives, which may cause the sale’s declining, the deduction is unconvincing.


By the evidence that playersresponders因为这是本题目的一个漏洞 thought the most important feature in the games is the lifelike graphics and the extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old,who most likely to play video games the author allege that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically. After careful pondering, I find this argument suffers from several flaws.

Firstly, the evidence that the arguer provides is insufficient to support the deduction that the Whirlwind video games with lifelike graphics would be popular among the players. The result of the study indicates that many players prefer the games that provide lifelike graphics. But vivid graphics is not the only elements that decide whether the video games are attractive to players. If the players do not like the story line the games contain, they would not buy them. It also might be the case that the players think the games are lackinglack excitement and enjoyment, so there is no reason to waste money. So --去掉sowithout ruling out the possibilities I discuss here, the allegation is ungrounded.

Secondly, the author fails to convince us that with the extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old the sales of Whirlwind video games would increase dramatically. We are not quite sure that the people 10 to 25 years old are the group most likely to play video games. Maybe most teenagers are restricted seriously by their parents that they cannot play those video games, for the reason that it 指代不明gameswould not only distracted them from the learning but also influence their health. Also,Maybe the people 10 to 25 years old are too busy to play games, since part of them are at college and they have to earn their tuition when they continue further study, and the rest must make every effort to perform excellently at work in order to increase their salary and get promoted.

Last but not least, without excluding other possible alternative, the argument is gratuitous.我觉得作为主题句应该再具体点让人一看就知道这段说的是什么 Maybe the respondents of study are not the same group people that the company aims to introduce their video games. And perhaps the economy is in depression, and even the company spares no effort to propagandize the Whirlwind video games, people do not have extra money to purchase them.  个人认为，如果时间不够，宁可把一点说透，否则很没说服力

In conclusion, this argument seems to be plausible, in fact, it is neither sound nor warranted. If the arguer provide substantial evidence to prove that the video games would be popular among the players, and include the other given factors discussed above, it will be thorough and persuasive.

整体会上感觉，错误都找了但重点没安排好
主要错误1。Prefer----buy
2.        调查对象------广告目标人群
3.        其它
时间紧时，挑最有说服力的攻效果应该会好些
不过每个人人为的最有说服力的不同，那就尽量把要攻的说透

个人意见
你觉得呢