argument61 Smile-A组 第九次作业，欢迎来拍！

EmmanuelleUID: 2231740

TOPIC: ARGUMENT61 - The following appeared in a report by the School District of Eyleria.

"Nationally, the average ratio of computers to students in kindergarten through grade 12 (K-12) is 1:5. Educators indicate that this is very good ratio. This means that across the country, all students have access to and can use computers daily in their classrooms. In Eyleria's K-12 schools, the ratio of computers to students is 1:7. This number is sufficient to ensure that all of Eyleria's students, by the time they graduate from high school, will be fully proficient in the use of computer technology. Thus, there is no reason to spend any of the schools' budget on computers or other technology in the next few years."
WORDS: 439          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2006-8-9

In a report by the School District of Eyleria (SDE) the speaker concludes that there is no need to spend any of the school's budget on computers or other technology in the next few years. To support it, the author applies the ratio of computers to students nationally and that in SDE. Careful scrutiny on the data and the deduce, reveals that the conclusion has several flaws rendering it unconvincing as it stands.

Firstly, the ratio of computers to students nationally which is used to illustrate students all through country can use computers daily in classrooms. However the speaker mistakenly estimated the complex circumstance. The average ratio is 1:5 can not represent that of every distinct in the country has reached this. It's quite possible the country polarizes seriously that maybe in developed cities the number of computers possession per person is much higher than that in poor countryside. If so, the average ratio cannot show all students have such a condition.  Moreover, educators' indication about the good ratio has not been proved so even all districts have reached the level of 1:5, whether it is good to education is still dubious.

Secondly, the speaker cites the ratio in SDE to substantiate that students there will be fully proficient in the use of computer technology which is lack of evidence. The ratio 1:7 is lower than the average, so it's probable the use of computers here is quite dissatisfactory. Additionally, even assuming that the number of computers can satisfy students' need the speaker cannot conclude students will be fully proficient in the use. If the students want to learn computer technology they should have teachers to teach relevant subjects and practise as often as possible. Without considering these factors in managing computer technology, the speaker's conclusion can not be taken seriously.

Finally, the speaker asserts there is no reason to invest on computers or technology which is unpersuasive because he/she overlooks other factors in learning computers technology. Only sufficient number of computers is far from enough because teaching technology also contains sorts of software. Furthermore, the renovation in IT area is so fast that if the school does not concern the progress in computers their equipment will soon be out of time. In that matter, students will receive a less advancing knowledge which is not good for them. Ignoring these factors the decision of not spend money on computers is fallacious.

In sum, the conclusion is indefensible as it stands. To bolster it, the speaker should provide precise ratio of the SDE and evaluate whether it's proper. He/she should also consider the development of IT, in that case the author will not draw such a ridiculous conclusion.

这篇写前没看题目，全是在30分钟里想的和写的，我觉得有点问题，特别是第一点我觉得不是很主要。不知各位怎么看。欢迎各位高手多提意见！

anotherbambooUID: 2188138

Firstly, the ratio of computers to students nationally which is used to illustrate students all through country can use computers daily in classrooms. [这句没有谓语，还是说只是罗列错误名词就行了呢？]
第一点我也想了，而且觉得拥有电脑是个人而非学校也有可能攻击的。

比我写得好多了，哎希望考试前也能到这程度就不错了。

zhy5186612UID: 2167373

In a report by the School District of Eyleria (SDE) the speaker concludes that there is no need to spend any of the school's budget on computers or other technology in the next few years. To support it, the author applies the ratio of computers to students nationally and that in SDE. Careful scrutiny on the data and the deduce, reveals that the conclusion has several flaws rendering it unconvincing as it stands.

Firstly, the ratio of computers to students nationally which is used to illustrate students all through country can use computers daily in classrooms. However the speaker mistakenly estimated the complex circumstance. The average ratio is 1:5 can not represent that of every distinct in the country has reached this. It's quite possible the country polarizes seriously that maybe in developed cities the number of computers possession per person is much higher than that in poor countryside. If so, the average ratio cannot show all students have such a condition.  Moreover, educators' indication about the good ratio has not been proved so even all districts have reached the level of 1:5, whether it is good to education is still dubious.如果你认为这个有问题，最后你想说明什么呢？比例更小好（比如1：8）的华，对作者的结论是有利的，即比例勾勒不需要花钱，如果比例更大好你最后应该点名需要花更多的钱

Secondly, the speaker cites the ratio in SDE to substantiate that students there will be fully proficient in the use of computer technology which is lack of evidence. The ratio 1:7 is lower than the average, so it's probable the use of computers here is quite dissatisfactory. Additionally, even assuming that the number of computers can satisfy students' need the speaker cannot conclude students will be fully proficient in the use. If the students want to learn computer technology they should have teachers to teach relevant subjects and practise as often as possible. Without considering these factors in managing computer technology, the speaker's conclusion can not be taken seriously. 最后一个理由不大好，其实比例有两个问题，一个是比例小（1:7），另一个是K-12是1:7并不能保证高中都是1：7。

Finally, the speaker asserts there is no reason to invest on computers or technology which is unpersuasive because he/she overlooks other factors in learning computers technology. Only sufficient number of computers is far from enough because teaching technology also contains sorts of software. Furthermore, the renovation in IT area is so fast that if the school does not concern the progress in computers their equipment will soon be out of time. In that matter, students will receive a less advancing knowledge which is not good for them. Ignoring these factors the decision of not spend money on computers is fallacious. 这段挺好

In sum, the conclusion is indefensible as it stands. To bolster it, the speaker should provide precise ratio of the SDE and evaluate whether it's proper. He/she should also consider the development of IT, in that case the author will not draw such a ridiculous conclusion.
加油

EmmanuelleUID: 2231740

谢谢楼上！
我一开始觉得那个对全国的调查对后面的结论好像没有太大的关系，只有那个1：5是合适的比例还能跟后面沾上。

xinxinwUID: 2144273

In a report by the School District of Eyleria (SDE) the speaker concludes that there is no need to spend any of the school's budget on computers or other technology in the next few years. To support it, the author applies the ratio of computers to students nationally and that in SDE. Careful scrutiny on the data and the deduce, reveals that the conclusion has several flaws rendering it unconvincing as it stands.

Firstly, the ratio of computers to students nationally which is used to illustrate students all through country can use computers daily in classrooms光有主语就句号了？. However the speaker mistakenly estimated the complex circumstance. The average ratio is 1:5 can not represent that of every distinct in the country has reached this. It's quite possible the country polarizes seriously that maybe in developed cities the number of computers possession per person is much higher than that in poor countryside. If so, the average ratio cannot show all students have such a condition.  Moreover, educators' indication about the good ratio has not been proved so even all districts have reached the level of 1:5, whether it is good to education is still dubious.应该局部发达地区的例子才能说明有的地方达不到要求。另外对于这个比例的具体数值我认为没有必要讨论，说不清楚

Secondly, the speaker cites the ratio in SDE to substantiate that students there will be fully proficient in the use of computer technology which is lack of evidence句子结构有问题. The ratio 1:7 is lower than the average, so it's probable the use of computers here is quite dissatisfactory. Additionally, even assuming that the number of computers can satisfy students' need the speaker cannot conclude students will be fully proficient in the use. If the students want to learn computer technology they should have teachers to teach relevant subjects and practise as often as possible你应该紧接着怀疑师资力量. Without considering these factors in managing computer technology, the speaker's conclusion can not be taken seriously.

Finally, the speaker asserts there is no reason to invest on computers or technology which is unpersuasive because he/she overlooks other factors in learning computers technology. Only sufficient number of computers is far from enough because teaching technology also contains sorts of software. Furthermore, the renovation in IT area is so fast that if the school does not concern the progress in computers their equipment will soon be out of time. In that matter, students will receive a less advancing knowledge which is not good for them. Ignoring these factors the decision of not spend money on computers is fallacious.

In sum, the conclusion is indefensible as it stands. To bolster it, the speaker should provide precise ratio of the SDE and evaluate whether it's proper. He/she should also consider the development of IT, in that case the author will not draw such a ridiculous conclusion.

猫猫寿司UID: 2219543

TOPIC: ARGUMENT61 - The following appeared in a report by the School District of Eyleria.

"Nationally, the average ratio of computers to students in kindergarten through grade 12 (K-12) is 1:5. Educators indicate that this is very good ratio. This means that across the country, all students have access to and can use computers daily in their classrooms. In Eyleria's K-12 schools, the ratio of computers to students is 1:7. This number is sufficient to ensure that all of Eyleria's students, by the time they graduate from high school, will be fully proficient in the use of computer technology. Thus, there is no reason to spend any of the schools' budget on computers or other technology in the next few years."
WORDS: 439          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2006-8-9

In a report by the School District of Eyleria (SDE) the speaker concludes that there is no need to spend any of the school's budget on computers or other technology in the next few years. To support it, the author applies the ratio of computers to students nationally and that in SDE. Careful scrutiny on the data and the deduce, reveals that the conclusion has several flaws rendering it unconvincing as it stands.

Firstly, the ratio of computers to students nationally which is used to illustrate students all through country can use computers daily in classrooms. However the speaker mistakenly estimated the complex circumstance. The average ratio is 1:5 can not represent that of every distinct in the country has reached this. It's quite possible the country polarizes seriously that maybe in developed cities the number of computers possession per person is much higher than that in poor countryside. If so, the average ratio cannot show all students have such a condition.  Moreover, educators' indication about the good ratio has not been proved so even all districts have reached the level of 1:5, whether it is good to education is still dubious.这段有点词不达意的感觉，简单举个例子，可能一个地方是1：1，另一个地方1：15完全无法达到他的小结论一人每天能碰一机的标准就比较清楚了

Secondly, the speaker cites the ratio in SDE to substantiate that students there will be fully proficient in the use of 这不是个词组吧computer technology which is lack of evidence. The ratio 1:7 is lower than the average, so it's probable the use of computers here is quite dissatisfactory. Additionally, even assuming that the number of computers can satisfy students' need the speaker cannot conclude students will be fully proficient in the use. If the students want to learn computer technology they should have teachers to teach relevant subjects and practise as often as possible. Without considering these factors in managing computer technology, the speaker's conclusion can not be taken seriously.可以说学生不用心学阿师资力量不够啊什么的

Finally, the speaker asserts there is no reason to invest on computers or technology which is unpersuasive because he/she overlooks other factors in learning computers technology. Only sufficient number of computers is far from enough because teaching technology also contains sorts of software. Furthermore, the renovation in IT area is so fast that if the school does not concern the progress in computers their equipment will soon be out of time. In that matter, students will receive a less advancing knowledge which is not good for them. Ignoring these factors the decision of not spend money on computers is fallacious.

In sum, the conclusion is indefensible as it stands. To bolster it, the speaker should provide precise ratio of the SDE and evaluate whether it's proper. He/she should also consider the development of IT, in that case the author will not draw such a ridiculous conclusion.

已阅 加油！