issue51【07.6G米国有米.第二次作业】(偶的版本貌似有点不一样,但还素发了)

森林116UID: 2272614

我的版本(06.8武汉新东方所发教材上)
issue 51:Spending time alone always makes one a better companion ,8过我还是发了,希望大家谅解(因为偶来晚了第一次作业没赶上~怕这次不交作业被赶出去了~555555)极其盼望拍砖!!!

      The author holds the opinion that if one is always spend time alone ,then he is always a better companion to others. I totally agree with him according to most people’s experiences,however ,some exceptions are still exist.
       On an individual level,people who grew up in a lonely surroundings will understand the lonely feeling more completely than those who grew uo in collectivization.On the other side ,when one knows howto compensate others appropriately, of course he or she has sharesd the same feeling ,maybe for many times.One fact-finding report which was made by Hubei University in recent years particularly compared many adults between those who grew up in one-parent families an normal families,the results pointed out that the formers are easier to deal with for they are ofen more gentlely and friendly, and they more carefully observe people than the latters,and gave people suitable words which they need and themselves also longed for at one time, at one time they were always alone and have no one to confided to for they afraid the hearers might laugh at them,at one time they even feared to talk with their always quarrelling parent, people who knows hydrastis must tasted it before,then they will tell it to others. Another relevant ivesigation made by Chinese Education Organization also supported the author’s opinion from another aspect ,the report said that a majority of teachers of primary schools reflect that they find those pupils who come from in one-parent family are more‘lovely’ for they are very ‘polite and considerate’. In newspapers and other medias we often find orphanages’s praises which said they are proud of all the orphans’s uncommon virtues such as ‘patience’ and so on. These similar phenomenon couldn’t be easily concluded to coincidence but testify the contention pithily.
What’s more, in Chinese modern society ,most couples especially residents could only have one child, who have no sisters or brothers, their childhoods are probably spent by themselves and playing with the same singletons, passer-by always find the children extraordinarily excited, why ?Because they have tasted the lonely feeling enough ,they need companions and the know how to make a good companion.
         Indeed, I admit that there are still exceptions existed. Sometimes we feel these people who often spend time alone odd, and they are very sensitive and suspiciosus, however I think it’s very nature for one who have lonely experiences will act that. People always say they need good companions but forget that they ---themselves---should act as a good guy ,too.
        In sum ,I support the contention that one who always spend time alone just like orphans, one-parent’s child ,one-child and others lack companions at one time are a better companion , maybe they seem sometimes odd and unfriendly,nevertheless it doesn’t effect that they are good companion.I always design that accompanying others is respectable, for to the world one maybe one person but to one person you may be the world.

这也是偶第一次写issue,极盼赐教,谢谢~~~

[ 本帖最后由 森林116 于 2006-11-26 12:40 编辑 ]

mcdonald-duckUID: 2123471

issue 51:Spending time alone always makes one a better companion ,8过我还是发了,希望大家谅解(因为偶来晚了第一次作业没赶上~怕这次不交作业被赶出去了~555555)极其盼望拍砖!!!

      The author holds the opinion that if one is always spending time alone ,then he is always a better companion to the others. I totally agree with him according to most people’s experiences, however ,some exceptions are still exist.语法和拼写错误我就不帮你改了，有点多，自己注意。格式方面简单说一下：英文中的标点后面都要加一个空格，段首部用空格，段间空一行。每次写完作文贴到word里看一下就很容易发现自己的语法和格式错误了。这段如果你要说there are also some exceptions的话就不要用totally这个词，可以考虑换成partially或者generally。还有就是你凭什么说most people have such experience?另外读完整篇文章以后发现你的确对speaker的观点持大部分肯定的态度，那么首段最好用一个让步提出自己的观点。这里给出一个例子：In spite of exceptions standing on the opposite side, I generally concede with the author’s declaration that the one who has always been spending time alone makes himself a better companion than the others.
把自己同意或者倾向的观点放在后面。
       On an individual level, people who grew up in a lonely surroundings will understand the lonely feeling more completely than those who grew uo in collectivization. On the other side ,when one knows how to compensate others appropriately, of course he or she has shared the same feeling ,maybe for many times. One fact-finding report which was made by Hubei University in recent years particularly compared many adults between those who grew up in one-parent families an normal families, the results pointed out that the formers are easier to deal with for they are often more gentle and friendly, and they more carefully observe people observe people more carefully than the latters, and gave people suitable words which they need and themselves also longed for at one time, at one time they were always alone and have no one to confided to for they afraid the hearers listeners might laugh at them, at one time they even feared to talk with their always quarrelling parent, people who knows hydrastis这是什么 must have tasted it before, then they will tell it to others. Another relevant investigation made by Chinese Education Organization also supported the author’s opinion from another aspect ,the report said that a majority of teachers of primary schools reflect that they find those pupils who come from in one-parent family are more lovely for they are very polite and considerate. In newspapers and other medias we often find orphanages’s praises which said they are proud of all the orphans’s uncommon virtues such as patience and so on. These similar phenomenon couldn’t be easily concluded to coincidence but testify the contention pithily.这两个例子选的还是比较好的，但是要注意语义的表达，大体意思能看懂，但是比较费劲，一看就是中国人写的。If…then…不要都用，只用一个if 就可以了。最好训练一下自己写长句子，把需要表达的放到从句里，而不是另起一句。另外还要注意时态，该用完成时的用完成时。

What’s more, in Chinese modern society ,most couples especially residents could only have one child, who have no sisters or brothers, their childhoods are probably spent by themselves and playing with the same singletons, passer-by always find the children extraordinarily excited, why ?Because they have tasted the lonely feeling enough ,they need companions and the know how to make a good companion.
         Indeed, I admit that there are still exceptions existed. Sometimes we feel these people who often spend time alone odd, and they are very sensitive and suspiciosus, however I think it’s very nature for one who have lonely experiences will act that. People always say they need good companions but forget that they ---themselves---should act as a good guy ,too.这段最好修改一下放到第二段的位置
        In sum ,I support the contention that one who always spends time alone just like orphans, one-parent’s child ,one-child and others lack companions at one time are a better companion , maybe they seem looks sometimes odd and unfriendly, nevertheless it doesn’t effect that they are good companion. I always design? that accompanying others is respectable, for to the world one maybe one person but to one person you may be the world.最好不要写这样的句子，跟文章的主旨不着边际，而且这句的中国味儿实在是太浓了。
One, to the world, might be just himself, but to another person, he might be the whole world.
一看就是TWE刚刚起步，尽管有很多地方需要注意，但是能勇敢地踏出第一步已经很值得鼓励了。有针对性地训练很有必要。注意一下拼写，语法，过渡，时态，意思表达的顺序，段落字数的平衡和美国式的表达方式。

森林116UID: 2272614

非常非常感谢,呵呵,你改的比我的细心多了~~~

ernest81888UID: 2247639

当当下次改别人的要变颜色哈

feibingxUID: 2212956

下周不要写错题目哦~~~
我们通用的那个题目序号  作文版的精华区里有的

森林116UID: 2272614

谢谢组长!!我知道了!!