issue48 (米国有米）bailamo27第三次作业

bailamo27UID: 2191717

(2006-11-28)
issue48 "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
(历史研究过于关注个人。历史上最有意义的事件和潮流能够成为可能不是因为几个少数的名人而是一些身份早就被淡忘的人群。/少数和多数，精英和大众.)
position:任何历史事件都不是由某个人或某几个人完成的， 而是群众或某个群体。但对于历史研究而言，某些名人的作用是显著的，不可磨灭的。
syllabus:
1.名人在历史上的决定作用.决策者和领导者往往是少数人,且只能是少数名人. .
2.名人事迹有利于历史的记录和研究; 名人事迹更容易被人记住而广泛传播
3.当然,也不恩能够否认和忽视群众和某个群体对历史的推动作用. 潮流是由某个人发明,群体推动
summary:历史是后人按自己对人性的理解来认识一个特定历史时期的特点.选取具有代表性的名人事迹来记录和研究是正确的方法.

Full text: (442 words)
When comes to historical study, we have to concede that famous persons play extremely important roles in history, who lead events or trends go ahead dramasticlly. However, we all know there's no significant events or trends can be done by some famous few, but can be done by general public or some groups of people, which can't be neglected.

Any history event is the result of the interactions of occasional and inevitable factors. When there happens a big event, there are always some significant person, who can accelerate or slow the pace that society marched or lead events or trends go ahead dramasticlly, will no doultly emerge. Moreover, there is just one leader or several choice-makers who can decide the direction of the developing of an event or a trend. For example, the 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln, who led the Union during the Civil War and emancipated slaves in the South. Without Lincoln's right decisions and leadship, there'll be another whole new pages in today's American history book.  It's obvious to place great emphais of prominent personage in study of history.  

Additionally, it's advantageous to record and study history by laying stress on famous person. To some extent, prominent figures represent a kind of thoughts, minds, cultures and trends of a certain period. People try to learn a certain history by learning stories of these typical individuals.  Meanwhile, it's more convient to remember some representatives than mass of people, which is an easy and necessary way a history of a certain time can be handed down by generations. During SARS happened several years ago in China, when people was worried about their life and afraid to go out without wearing breathing mask, lots of doctors and nurses got envolved in fighting with the fital disease, whose names we hardly know. But we remember one person, professor Nanshan Zhong of Wuhan University who invented an accine to against SARS virus. In the end, we, human beings survived in this unexpected war. We record Mr. Zhong's great dedication, we remember a certain history.  

Surely we can't deny the affections of the masses or some groups of person who make huge attribution to some events and trends, say, the international famous dress designer, Yves Saint Laurent, who led a dress designing trend of a mixture of morden and classic styles, which could be set off only if his new idea was accepted by the public.

To make a conclusion, history is a subject that later generations learn characters of some certain periods, according to their comprehensions about human nature. It's a suitable way to choose some typical individuals to record and study history, which makes learning history easier.

[ 本帖最后由 bailamo27 于 2006-11-30 21:32 编辑 ]

cckantUID: 2247822

When comes to historical study, we have to concede that famous persons play extremely important roles in history, who lead events or trends go ahead dramatically. However, we all know there's no significant events or trends can be done by some famous few, but can be done 由于can be done 修饰的是no significant event, 所以觉得应该要改一下 by general public or some groups of people, which can't be neglected. 或许改为However, we all know that there are significant events or trends can not be driven merely by the famous few, which, instead, are motivated by groups of people or the general public.

Any history event is the result of the interactions of occasional and inevitable factors. When there happens a big event happen 表发生的时候是不接物动词；如果你原意是用倒装句的话，我不确定对不对，但就我手上的语法书来看，我找不到这样的用法，也google不到类似的用法，所以，如果是我写的话，会安全起见，写成When a big event happens, there are always some significant persons, who can accelerate or slow the pace that the society marches, or lead events or trends go ahead dramatically, will undoubtedly emerge主句和从句动词时态要统一，要么都用一般现在时表规律，要么都用过去时表过去的历史事件. Moreover, there is just one leader or several choice-makers who can decide the direction of development of an event or a trend. For example, the 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln, who led the Union during the Civil War and emancipated slaves in the South. Without Lincoln's right decisions and leadship, there'll be another whole new pages in today's American history book.  It's obvious to place great emphais of prominent personage in study of history.很好的美国例子，只是觉得讲the whole new pages in today’s American history book有点绝对，或许可以改为Without Lincoln’s direction and leadership, pages in history text of the U.S. today would be significantly altered.   

Additionally, it's advantageous to record and study history by laying stress on famous person. To some extent, prominent figures represent a kind of thoughts, minds, cultures and trends of a certain period. People try to learn a certain history by learning stories of these typical individuals.  Meanwhile, it's more convenient to remember some representatives than mass of people, which is an easy and necessary way a history of a certain time can be handed down by generations. During SARS happened several years ago in China, when people was worried about their lives and afraid to go out without wearing a respirator(or gauze mask), lots of doctors and nurses got envolved in fighting with the fital disease, whose names are hardly known. But we remember one person, professor Nanshan Zhong of Wuhan University who invented an vaccine to删掉 against SARS virus. In the end, we, human beings survived in this unexpected war. We record Mr. Zhong's great dedication, we remember a certain history.  

Surely we can't deny the affections of the masses or some groups of person who make huge attribution to some events and trends, say, the international famous dress designer, Yves Saint Laurent, who led a dress designing trend of a mixture of morden and classic styles, which could be set off only if his new idea was accepted by the public.这个例子是要强调大众的，所以应该把句式改写一下，把only if accepted by the public 这分句提到前面去，Y. S. Laurent的名字不提也罢，或者，放在后面，来一个转折，说，even if the designer is as famous as Y. S. Laurent. 不然的话，对Laurent解释得太多的话，给人的印象就只是记住的Laurent的大名，感觉例子于论点有点脱节，甚至有反效果。
To make a conclusion, history is a subject that later generations learn characters of some certain periods, according to their comprehensions about human nature. It's a suitable way to choose some typical individuals to record and study history, which makes learning history easier.

Comment：
1． 头段开得不错，明确观点，句式也比较好
2． 末端总结的不是很好，没能比较全面的归纳要点或者总的回应一下issue 题目里有关too much emphasis的问题。
3． 有足够的例子支撑论据
4． 第四段折衷段显得有些脖弱。
5． 语言应尽量简洁些。

[ 本帖最后由 cckant 于 2006-12-2 16:03 编辑 ]

aefiterUID: 2134740

When [it] comes to historical study, we have to concede that famous persons play extremely important roles in history, [非限制定语从句，who 紧跟famous persons] who lead events or trends [to] go ahead dramasticlly. However, we all know there's no significant events or trends [that] can be done by some famous few, but can be done by general public or some groups of people, which can't be neglected.[这句话确实要改]

Any history event is the result of the interactions of occasional and inevitable factors.[这样绝对，就怕论证不能让人信服] When there happens a big event,[好像倒装有这种用法] there are always some significant person,[person 换成individual，更常见] who can accelerate or slow the pace that society marched [march the pace?] or lead events or trends [to] go ahead dramasticlly, will no doultly emerge. Moreover, there is just one leader or several choice-makers who can decide the direction of the developing of an event or a trend. For example, the 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln, who led the Union during the Civil War and emancipated slaves in the South. Without Lincoln's right decisions and leadship, there'll be another whole new pages in today's American history book.  It's obvious to place great emphais of prominent personage in study of history.  

Additionally, it's advantageous to record and study history by laying stress[lay stress,加强] on famous person. To some extent, prominent figures represent a kind of thoughts, minds, cultures and trends of a certain period. People try to learn a certain history by learning stories of these typical individuals.  Meanwhile, it's more convient to remember some representatives than mass of people, which is an easy and necessary way a history of a certain time can be handed down by generations. During SARS happened several years ago in China, when people was worried about their life and afraid to go out without wearing breathing mask, lots of doctors and nurses got envolved in fighting with the fital disease, whose names we hardly know. But we remember one person, professor Nanshan Zhong of Wuhan University who invented an accine to against SARS virus. In the end, we, human beings survived in this unexpected war. We record Mr. Zhong's great dedication, we remember a certain history.  

Surely we can't deny the affections of the masses or some groups of person who make huge attribution to some events and trends, say, the international famous dress designer, Yves Saint Laurent, who led a dress designing trend of a mixture of morden and classic styles, which could be set off only if his new idea was accepted by the public.

To make a conclusion, history is a subject that later generations learn characters of some certain periods, according to their comprehensions about human nature. It's a suitable way to choose some typical individuals to record and study history, which makes learning history easier.

[有时间就多写吧，自然水平就提高了。如果时间充裕，先不要限时，把每一段写完整。毕竟即使时间不够，很可能也能遇到自己写过的，那样最好。例子，有时间就想国外的，知名的。有些理由本身适合用一些设想的例子；]