argument140【米国有米】第四次作业

cherryshawnUID: 2242691

In this report, the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University recommends to raise Professor Thomas’(T) salary to 60,000 dolars per year and to promote her to Department Chairperson. The Committee provides two reasons to support the recommendation that T’s classes are among the largest at the university and she brought research grants more than her salary in the last successive years. For further emphasizing the necessity to raises and promotion, the committee aserts T will leave to another college unless the recommendation is brought into effect. The decision of the Committee seems reasonale through the statement above. However, they ignores several points I will talk about following.

Firstly, the recommendation bases on the assumption that the popularity of T’s class attributes to her effective teaching. There are other reason to generate the result. It is possible that the students are easy to pass the exam if they choose T’s courses. Or perhaps her courses are required all student in the department to take part in. Only if the Committee excludes these possibilities, I could think the assumption is credible.

Secondly, it is unseemly for Committee to use the research grants to estimate T’s research ability. On one hand, the facts that the grants in the last two years are much more than T’s salary don’t foretell she will obtain more grants in the future. Pahaps, owing to the poor achievements in the last two years, the school will not give her any money. the quantity of the grants is not the criterion to scale the effectness of a teacher. What’s more, it is possible that other proffessors get more grants than their salaries in the last two years. Then how to give them hortation is a big problem to solve.

Thirdly, the Committee fails to give any evidence to make us believe T will leave Elm City University unless they grant the promotion and raises. It is entirely possible that T is content with her job and her current salary level. And there is no testimony to dictate T is fit for the position of Department Chairperson. If she is interested in teaching and researching, and the management is not a good choice for her, the decision of promotion could do help to improve the work of department.

To sum up, the Committee’s recommendation is not wholely reasonable. Before going to the final decision, the Committee should do more investigation to prove T is an effective teacher and fruitfull reseacher. Finally, we need more information to know whether T will leave E university.

[ 本帖最后由 cherryshawn 于 2006-12-12 18:17 编辑 ]

cckantUID: 2247822

In this report, the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University recommends to raise Professor Thomas’(T) salary to 60,000 dollars per year and to promote her to Department Chairperson. The Committee provides two reasons to support the recommendation that T’s classes are among the largest at the university and she brought research grants more than her salary in the last successive years. For further emphasizing the necessity to raises and promotion (good expression), the committee asserts T will leave to another college unless the recommendation is brought into effect. The decision of the Committee seems reasonable through the statement above. However, they ignore several points I will talk about following.

Firstly, the recommendation bases on the assumption that the popularity of T’s class attributes to her effective teaching. There are other reasons to generate the result. It is possible that the students are easy to pass the exam if they choose T’s courses. Or perhaps her courses are required all student in the department to take part in. Only if the Committee excludes these possibilities, I could think the assumption is credible.(这段论证比较紧凑)

Secondly, it is unseemly for Committee to use the research grants to estimate T’s research ability. On one hand, the facts that the grants in the last two years are much more than T’s salary don’t foretell she will obtain more grants in the future. Perhaps, owing to the poor achievements in the last two years, the school will not give her any money.这句有点含糊，题目讲的是T从学校意外争取到研究资金，是打算说因为学校没有多少研究资金，所以T迫于要向校外申请，所以grant才高吗？ The quantity of the grants is not the criterion to scale the effectiveness of a teacher (讲faculty会好一点，在大学里teacher的意思有点狭隘). What’s more, it is possible that other professors get more grants than their salaries in the last two years. Then how to give them hortation is a big problem to solve.(这句似乎有点离题，要讨论的是提薪升职的合理性，或者换一种说法会好点)

Thirdly, the Committee fails to give any evidence to make us believe T will leave Elm City University unless they grant the promotion and raise. It is entirely possible that T is content with her job and her current salary level. And there is no testimony to dictate T is fit for the position of Department Chairperson. If she is interested in teaching and researching, and the management is not a good choice for her, the favorable decision of promotion could not help to improve the work of department.

To sum up, the Committee’s recommendation is not whole reasonable. Before going to the final decision, the Committee should do more investigation to prove T is an effective teacher and a fruitful researcher. Finally, we need more information to know whether T will leave E university.

Comment：
1．        段落结构清晰
2．        不少好的句形和字词
3．        足够详实，稍欠简练
4．        段首句立论清晰

approachUID: 2101189

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