issue130 (南智组sisokia第十五次作业)

sisokiaUID: 2287570

[ 本帖最后由 sisokia 于 2007-1-28 13:51 编辑 ]

可可@虫虫UID: 2263096

The speaker contends that the destiny of society depends on the children’s socialization，which makes me feel less persuasive, while, I was entirely agree with the other attitude that we are lack of proper methods to raise children for better society.开头表明作者的俩种观点和自己的态度，清晰明朗
Admittedly, it is undeniable that the socialization for children did a crucial role in determining the destiny of society, but hardly to be the determinant. Firstly, the socialization of children is still erratic. Actually, childhood is an extremely important period for the forming of different characters and personality, of course, the socialization as well. That means, it is a course to build one’s socialization rather than an unchangeable result for it. 这句话和后面论证是什么关系，看不太懂As the我觉得怪怪的，好象是as the example of或者take ..for example Edison and Newton for example, in their early years, both of them did not show the promise of what he was to become. Especially as Edison,这个是不是应该去掉啊 he was slow to learn to speak and did not do well in elementary school. He could not stomach organized learning and loathed taking exams. Thus, he was considered as a foolish boy whom nearly no teacher likes liked and few children fancied at all. Nevertheless, Edison and Newton turned their lives so differently through his their incomparable achievement and contribution in adult for to human-being that Einstein was named ‘Person of Century’ and Newton became the giant who stand stood on other giants. Either the Theory of Relativity, Leap of Imagination from Einstein or The Law of Gravity from Newton is the significant impetus for progressing in society, which embodys the meaningless of the socialization formed in their childhood.个人觉得这个例子举的 很好，很有代表性，指出社会化不一定对社会进步有决定作用社会化是对社会命运很重要的一方面但不是决定性的,一些名人即使没有被社会化也同样对社会作出了巨大贡献
Secondly, I concede the truth that we are still lack of method to raise children to drive them to bring about a better society. Nowadays, especially in China, there is nearly little possibility to find children can live entirely independent. In my view, independence is the foundation for children to build up a better society. It seems ridiculous to look forward a child who can not look after herself/himself well to take the responsibility of the society and come to time for the circumstance as well. Therefore, I suggest in order to make our children adapt to the society easily we should do as followed: first, give children more right to choose what to do forby themselves. In the modern time, parents are inclined to enforce their children to learn what they want children to do. do 去掉把，前面的动词是learnAs learning rather complex mathematics, which is far beyond the ability to understand for children. Actually, these kinds of enforcement oppress the nature to learn much what they are keen on. Gradually, so heavy pressure loaded on children, they are most likely to be too depressed to get along well with others and wore away their talent in some other fields. Second, leave children a little difficulty which drives children to overcome by themselves. Society has its dual influence for on people in it. In spite of fantastic feeling of success society can reward us, difficulties or obstacle is obstacles are also the necessary experience for nearly every person. Unless we conquer all of the difficulties, becoming socialized, particularly for children, will possibly be an impossible expectation. Thereby, enhancing children’s ability to get over obstacle in advance and improving their perseverance is are the basic lessons for children getting better socialization.现在教育中存在的问题和我们应该怎样做
In a conclusion, childhood is merely the rudiment time for children to be socialized, which still have has precarious factors to influenceon the transforming of socialization. As a result, giving much more positive education for children in thinking and behavior will certainly benefit the ability to be socialized distinctly, which needs parents to make rectification so that making an enhancement in children education我觉得最后总结时没有提到让孩子社会化和社会命运的关系）总结，提出教育的积极方法对孩子有帮助
   个人觉得你的整体思路很清楚，把握了重点，动词的单复数搭配和句子结构上有些问题，有些句子读起来不是十分流畅，怪怪的。呵呵，我也是阿，可能多写写就好了吧，我要借鉴你的思路，我总是写得很乱没有头绪，多多交流阿，呵呵

[ 本帖最后由 可可@虫虫 于 2007-1-19 21:20 编辑 ]