argument140 南智组娓娓第16次作业

qqwuweiyiUID: 2223826

Argument140
The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.
"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."

In this argument, the arguer recommends that the Elm City University should raise Professor Thomas’s salary and promote her, or she will leave this university for another. To support the conclusion, the arguer points out that Professor Thomas is a popular teacher is the university and has good research abilities. But I think this argument suffers from several critical fallacies.

First of all, how can we say that Professor Thomas is an excellent teacher popular in students and well doing in her research? The arguer suggests that her classes are one of the largest classes at the university, but that is cannot prove her popularity. May be, there is a few teacher majored in botany in Elm City University, but more students, so every teacher of botany teaches large classes. He does not compare Professor Thomas with other teachers in the same background, so the conclusion about popularity without persuasion. In the other hand, her research grants to the university are more than her salary may the facts, but we have no idea to say her research abilities is the better. That may be a general phenomenon, and we do not know other professors’ research. No comparison, and no results.

Secondly, there is no reason that Professor Thomas should leave. First, we have no evidence to say she is a very good teacher either in teaching or in research, proved above. Second, even if she is an excellent teacher truly, but we cannot say she suffers bad condition that have low salary, worse research condition and without promotion. The arguer never tell us about the exact actuality of her, what is her position is the university and what is the support of the university giving her, and whether her salary and position are lower, according with her contribution. May be, in this university, the salary and the position she has, are higher than others who have the same contribution in this university, or equal, so there is no reason she will leave. In addition, leaving to another collage is not easy, even they give higher salary and position, but everything is different, new colleagues, new conditions, and new teams, that’s all should be considered.

In conclusion, the arguer makes the best mistake is he does not give any comparison to demonstrate she is a good teacher in teaching and research, and her salary and position are low according to her contribution. To strength the argument, the arguer would have to providence about Professor Thomas’s situation and do more comparison to support it.

[ 本帖最后由 qqwuweiyi 于 2007-1-21 20:05 编辑 ]

luckychinaUID: 2131861

In this argument, the arguer recommends that the Elm City University should raise Professor Thomas’s salary and promote her, or she will leave this university for another. To support the conclusion, the arguer points out that Professor Thomas is a popular teacher is (in) the university and has good research abilities. But I think this argument suffers from several critical fallacies.寄托上有讨论过阿狗的开头，结论是不需要restate，不过我认为像你这样简单的介绍一下也无妨。
First of all, how can we say that Professor Thomas is an excellent teacher popular in students and well doing in her research? 好The arguer suggests that her classes are one of the largest classes at the university, but that is（语法错） cannot prove her popularity. May be, there is a few （few teachers）teacher majored in botany in Elm City University, but more students, so every teacher of botany teaches (in) large classes. He does not compare Professor Thomas with other teachers in the same background, so the conclusion about popularity without persuasion. In(on) the other hand, her research grants to the university are more than her salary may the facts, but we have no idea to say her research abilities is the better. That may be a general phenomenon, and we do not know other professors’ research. No comparison, and no results. 驳得很具体，很到位。只是还有一些明显的语法错误就不一一指出了
Secondly, there is no reason that Professor Thomas should leave. First, we have no evidence to say she is a very good teacher either in teaching or in research, proved above. Second, even if she is an excellent teacher truly, but（删） we cannot say she suffers bad condition that have low salary, worse research condition and without promotion. The arguer never tell us about the exact actuality of her, what is her position is the university and what is the support of the university giving her, and whether her salary and position are lower, according with her contribution. May be, in this university, the salary and the position she has, are higher than others who have the same contribution in this university, or equal, so there is no reason she will leave. 作出同样贡献拿到更多的薪水就没有理由要离开吗？不一定吧，既然是阿狗，就应该以阿狗的标准尽量严谨一点吧~~In addition, leaving to another collage is not easy, even they give higher salary and position, but everything is different, new colleagues, new conditions, and new teams, that’s all should be considered.很有层次，想得也很细，总之很好。
In conclusion, the arguer makes the best mistake is he does not give any comparison to demonstrate she is a good teacher in teaching and research, and her salary and position are low according to her contribution. To strength the argument, the arguer would have to providence about Professor Thomas’s situation and do more comparison to support it.

总的来说真的很不错的，尤其是驳论方面，很具体很到位。如果能在语言方面少犯些明显的语法错误，多一些地道的表达，高分指日可待阿~~
+U，特别是保持在论证上的优势，再次感叹！

qqwuweiyiUID: 2223826

谢谢！ 很好的建议，谢谢认真修改我的作文。写argument还有电思路，但issue就不行了，还要你多提意见。