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Issue185 sisong2003--Hamming小组作文第十次冲刺 TOPIC: ISSUE185 - "Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."WORDS: 462 TIME: 上午 00:43:00 DATE: 2007-1-25提纲:观点:基本同意,然而关注丑闻会引起其他问题1. 政治丑闻确实可以引起人们关注 Mark Foley, Watergate2. 学术丑闻也可以吸引人们关注,并通过警示人们减少不良学术行为 Poehlman3. 关注丑闻会使完美从迫切社会问题上分心,并造成不必要的资源浪费 Clinton, LewinskyAre scandals useful in drawing our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could, as the speaker asserts? I n my view, I fundamentally agree with the speaker that scandals may focus our attention on social problems,【.】 however, paying attention to scandals might also cause certain unnecessary waste of public resources and distracting people's attention from some pressing social problems.To begin with, scandals in politics draw people’s attention to problems that may never be attained by speaker or reformer. As one example, Mark Foley page scandal was considered to be the most notorious one in the year 2006. As a member of the U.S. House of Representatives, he was blamed for an inappropriate contact with House pages for a long history. Without this astonishing scandal disclosed, the public could not pay such an attention to【’关注’太抽象了,打击力度不强,最好再添点油加点醋,把后果blablablabla一下,烘托出“确实可以引起人们关注”。这里充分展开后面太常见的水门就可以省了,一样persuasive】 the【this,专指】 political and social problems. A further example from politics involved the Watergate scandal. And the former President Nixon in this political scandal made common citizens focus on the political problems.A further case in point of the impact of scandal on society can be found in the realm of academia. The latest Chemical& Engineering News reported an academic scandal in the University of Vermont. Professor Eric T. Poehlman was sentenced to jail for 336 days on account of falsifying data in the research. As the precedent of jail for research misconduct, this scandal focuses people--especial those scholars-- on the academic problems, which undoubtedly will be beneficial to the academia【the academic development,对客观的学术发展有力,学术腐败就是为了beneficial academia自己】 by warning those potential【最好加到might后面变成potentially】 scholar who might commit research misconduct.Notwithstanding the foregoing argument in favor of the speaker's conclusion, yet the scandals-- whether in politics, academia or other areas--can distract the masses' attention and waste a lot of money from【有from的关系?应该是想表达waste a lot of money needed by吧】 some pressing social problems. The famous sex scandal of former President Bill Clinton aptly illustrates this statement. Although Clinton is guilty in his personal morality, the scandal might be just a personal affair. However, the large amount of public resources spent on investigation of the intimate details between Clinton and Lewinsky are wasteful. And unfortunately, this scandal attracted too much attention from the citizens to Clinton's private life. Consequently, some more pressing social problems such as youth crime or environmental pollution were put aside. While these public resources【前面举例都是应该重视的事物,如果要从浪费资源角度说,就应该把这些事物需耗费但浪费再了丑闻上的资源列出来】 could be better used in the means of helping disabled children in America and also be beneficial in addressing some pressing social problems such as industrial pollution or unemployment in America【while后面全成了状语,主句没了】.In summery, scandals in politics, academia and other areas can draw our attention to problems in ways that no speaker or reformer could. However, paying too much attention on scandals may distract our attention on some more pressing social problems and might waste a large amount of unnecessary public resources.
第二个展开段不错,把心里想到的逻辑关系都写出来,我们的目标是傻子也读得懂(当然要一定词汇量,hiahia~)。 |