Issue51 【四海一家】第一次作业

rny82UID: 2293947

Issue51 "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed
to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

time：4 hours （毫不夸张）
提纲：
不同意。
应该定义什么是教育的有效性，教育的有效性应该指对社会及个人的有益性及可行性。
根据有益性及可行性，不同意此观点。
第一，满足每个人的需要和兴趣不能做到对社会及个人的有益性。
第二，满足每个人的需要和兴趣无可行性。
所以，该观点不成立。
The speaker claims that education will be effective when it is particularly designed for
each student's respective individual needs and interests. It seems ostensibly
reasonable and convincing, however, I strongly disagree with it as following reasons.

To support the statement, the speaker might point out what the exact meaning of effectiveness of
education. First, education serves as the impeller of social and personal  progress. To achieve this
accomplishment, it is requested education providing positive, justified, and useful knowledge
and skills. Moreover, the purpose of education is not training only scientists and art masters, but rather
enlightening masses with basic knowledge and common sense, and the revenue of country which is the major
source of education outlay cannot increase ceaselessly, limited outlay therefore used to content the major
is the most efficient and available means.

However, reflection on the two points mentioned above makes clear that meeting the individual
needs and interests of each student cannot serve education to be truly effective.

First, people with different individuality has lots of needs and interests, including merciful ones
and evil ones. Whether meeting all of them is not only a educational but also a legal issue. Consider,
for instance, the skill to tamper financial data of bank through the Internet which is the biggest need
and truly interest of a criminal. Complying this sort of needs and interests is accessary deed. It is the
discipline of education imparting the virtuous and dissuading the criminous.

Besides, it is not available to meet all the needs and interests of each student, even though the virtuous
ones. Most people have aspiration to be the famous few. As we know, training a specialist of science or art
need lots of money, however, the certain proportion of national revenue which is used for education is limited.
it is therefore impossible to make everyone Edisons, Einsteins, or Curies, and also not necessary. Each student
is provided the basic skills and knowledge required in common life, and some of them get the opportunity to be
cultivated further. It constructs the person with ability pyramid in the society, and the educational outlay
is cost most efficiently.

In sum, making education truly effectively cannot rely on meeting all of everyone's needs and interests.
It is otherwise advisable to meet the rewarding ones and distribute the educational outlay logically.

yuzhongwumeiUID: 2155222

The speaker claims that education will be effective when it is particularly designed for
each student's respective individual needs and interests.这处你重复了三次,其实each,respective,individual是一个意思 I
t seems ostensibly此处又有重复之嫌 reasonable and convincing, however, I strongly disagree with it as following reasons.
你的思路不要受argument的干扰,这明显是argument的开头段写法

To support the statement, the speaker might ?point out what the exact meaning of effectiveness of
education. First, education serves as the impeller of social and personal  progress. To achieve this指代不明
accomplishment, it is requested education providing positive, justified, and useful knowledge
and skills. 病句,可改为it requires education to ~~Moreover, the purpose of education is not training only scientists and art masters表达不准确, but rather enlightening masses with basic knowledge and common sense, and 此处无法衔接the revenue of country which is the major
source of education outlay cannot increase ceaselessly, 不是很顺,应该考虑换的说法
limited outlay therefore used to content the major is the most efficient and available means.

However, reflection on the two points mentioned above (above是指上面,不是下面) makes clear that meeting the individual
needs and interests of each student cannot serve (lead) education to be truly effective.

First, people with different individuality复数 has lots of needs and interests,此句表达意思不到位 including merciful ones
and evil ones. Whether meeting all of them is not only a educational but also a legal issue. Consider,
for instance, the skill to tamper financial data of bank through the Internet which is the biggest need
and truly interest of a criminal. Complying this sort of needs and interests is accessary deed. It is the
discipline of education imparting the virtuous and dissuading the criminous.

Besides, it is not available(practical) to meet all the needs and interests of each student, even though the virtuous
ones. Most people have aspiration to be the famous few. As we know, training a specialist of science or art
need lots of money, however, the certain proportion of national revenue which is used for education is limited.
it is therefore impossible to make everyone Edisons, Einsteins, or Curies, and also not necessary. Each student
is provided the basic skills and knowledge required in common life, and some of them get the opportunity to be
cultivated further. It constructs the person with ability pyramid in the society, and the educational outlay
is cost most efficiently. 感觉这段理由不够充分啊

In sum, making education truly effectively cannot rely on meeting all of everyone's needs and interests.
It is otherwise advisable to meet the rewarding ones and distribute the educational outlay logically.

感觉楼主受argument影响很大,你的文章是一篇好argu,但这是issue,你要注意你的论证和论据的充分和严密,并且要注意语言
感觉很多人,包括我,都是用词很不准确,查字典瞎用,其实在native speakers看来极其不地道,自己还不觉得
觉得平时要多读写范文,看看人家是怎么用词的
包括句式的转换,不要过于单一,并且还要保持流畅
写作和平时的积累是分不开的,你如果以前没积累什么,现在更要努力,多读书,多看范文
其实我不敢说我一定对啊,我要是说错了欢迎你和我讨论啊