issue69 【南智二组第20次作业】第一次1h内写完的```希望大家拍拍

supper_xuUID: 2227277

提纲：
观点：政府对科学研究更重要的不是限制，而是引导，使科研成果朝有利于社会发展的方向。
1 科学研究并没有对错之分，关键在于政府、社会、个人能否正确的应用这些研究成果。同一个研究成果可能造成截然不同的影响。（nuclear reaction; morphia）
2 大多数研究成果都是使人类受益的，因此政府不应该限制科学研究的发展。
3 admittedly，对于利用科研成果从事损害社会的行为，政府要管。

TOPIC: ISSUE69 - "Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development"
WORDS: 477          TIME: 0:55:00          DATE: 2007-2-1

The speaker asserts that scientific inquiry and development should not be restrictions or administrate by government. I fundamentally agree with the author’s opinion.

To begin with, the fact to justify whether a scientific research is right or wrong, and valuable or invaluable, is depending on how the research achievement is used, but not the scientific research itself. Science is a relatively independent case that it hardly have any business with government. Hence government, generally, has no excuse to restrict the development of scientific research. Completely different effects may be contributed to the extra one achievement of scientific research. For example, the research of nuclear reaction, which in some of us' point of view is a accessory of world' s nuclear war, also has a even huger effect on the development of nuclear power, which is a advanced solution of the problem of world' s lack of power. Another instance also supports this view-the use of morphia. When studied morphia first, scientists saw it as a good medicine for decreasing pain in the process of recovery or operation. Then viper found that it had another aspect of function that was similar with poison, and at last it became one of the most popular poisons all over the world. So estimating a scientific research a positive or negative one, is just by the usage of the research achievement.

Moreover, it is surely that most of scientific research is getting benefits for human beings, whereas few of them are used for bad usages. In this rapidly developing society, each improvement is related to the advanced scientific research. And it is believable that most people in society have a good desire hoping the society better and better. So the primary purposes for most inquiries are positive, without which our society would not develop that well and fast. Without, or with little restrictions placed by government, scientific research will surely develop fast and as a result, the society will develop faster and better leaded by the advancement of scientific.

Undeniable, there still are few people, who pursuit for much personal benefit, use the advanced research for negative purpose. And it’s the time for government to rule and restrict them. For example, when vipers do morphia business, government must punish these vipers that are seriously harmful for the stability of society. Government’ s essential duty, in my opinion, is to lead scientific research developing to the correct direction which is good for the development of our society, and make a quick action when finding it is miss leaded to a wrong way.

To sum up, as most of scientific researches have good effects to our society, Unless it has to do some action to make it in the right routine, government should place restriction on scientific research as few as it could in order to motivate science and technology developing fast and good.

qqwuweiyiUID: 2223826

The speaker asserts that scientific inquiry and development should not be restrictions or administrate by government. I fundamentally agree with the author’s opinion.

To begin with, the fact to justify whether a scientific research is right or wrong, and valuable or invaluable, is depending on how the research achievement is used, but not the scientific research itself. Science is a relatively independent case that it hardly have any business with government. （我觉得这句话太偏激了，科学怎么和政府无关呢？科学怎么可能缺少政府资金支持。）Hence government, generally, has no excuse to restrict the development of scientific research. Completely different effects may be contributed to the extra one achievement of scientific research. For example, the research of nuclear reaction, which in some of us' point of view is a accessory of world' s nuclear war, also has a even huger effect on the development of nuclear power, which is a advanced solution of the problem of world' s lack of power. Another instance also supports this view-the use of morphia. When studied morphia first, scientists saw it as a good medicine for decreasing pain in the process of recovery or operation. Then viper found that it had another aspect of function that was similar with poison, and at last it became one of the most popular poisons all over the world. So estimating a scientific research a positive or negative one, is just by the usage of the research achievement.（觉得这段对分论点的论证很到位哦！但是，我觉得你说政府和科学没有关系，政府只是一个应用科研结果的角色而已，我不认同。）

Moreover, it is surely that most of scientific research is getting benefits for human beings, whereas few of them are used for bad usages. In this rapidly developing society, each improvement is related to the advanced scientific research. And it is believable that most people in society have a good desire hoping the society better and better. So the primary purposes for most inquiries are positive, without which our society would not develop that well and fast. Without, or with little restrictions placed by government, scientific research will surely develop fast and as a result, the society will develop faster and better leaded by the advancement of scientific.（如果这里能说一下，政府干预的不好的影响，觉得就更切题了。）

Undeniable, there still are few people, who pursuit for much personal benefit, use the advanced research for negative purpose. And it’s the time for government to rule and restrict them. For example, when vipers do morphia business, government must punish these vipers that are seriously harmful for the stability of society. （morphia business不是科学研究吧，这个例子不好）Government’ s essential duty, in my opinion, is to lead scientific research developing to the correct direction which is good for the development of our society, and make a quick action when finding it is miss leaded to a wrong way.

To sum up, as most of scientific researches have good effects to our society, Unless it has to do some action to make it in the right routine, government should place restriction on scientific research as few as it could in order to motivate science and technology developing fast and good.


我觉得写得挺好的，而且时间还那么短了，呵呵，而且句子都很自然通顺，我要好好加油了。有空帮我改改作文，谢谢！！https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=602555&extra=page%3D1




[ 本帖最后由 qqwuweiyi 于 2007-2-2 23:13 编辑 ]

siyuandingUID: 2154137

The speaker asserts that scientific inquiry and development should not be restrictions or administrate by government. I fundamentally agree with the author’s opinion.
[这样的开头太简单了，建议你看看北美范文，你的开头段主题句I fundamentally agree with the author’s opinion，最好不要有抽象词，像opinion，最好把你的观点说出来，同意不是观点，而是你怎么同意法，也就是，读者能从你的观点句中读出你下面的行文思路，这是高分作文必备的一个要领]

To begin with, the fact to justify whether a scientific research is right or wrong, and valuable or invaluable, is depending on how the research achievement is used, but not the scientific research itself. [这一句作为主题句似乎没有很好回应题目，放后面去]Science is a relatively independent case that it hardly have any business with government. Hence government, generally, has no excuse to restrict the development of scientific research. [这一句作为主题句很好的说，放段首]Completely different effects may be contributed to the extra one achievement of scientific research. For example, the research of nuclear reaction, which in some of us' point of view is a accessory of world' s nuclear war, also has a even huger effect on the development of nuclear power, which is a advanced solution of the problem of world' s lack of power. Another instance also supports this view-the use of morphia. When studied morphia first, scientists saw it as a good medicine for decreasing pain in the process of recovery or operation. Then viper found that it had another aspect of function that was similar with poison, and at last it became one of the most popular poisons all over the world. So estimating a scientific research a positive or negative one, is just by the usage of the research achievement.

Moreover, it is surely that most of scientific research is getting benefits for human beings, whereas few of them are used for bad usages. In this rapidly developing society, each improvement is related to the advanced scientific research. And it is believable that most people in society have a good desire hoping the society better and better. So the primary purposes for most inquiries are positive, without which our society would not develop that well and fast. Without, or with little restrictions placed by government, scientific research will surely develop fast and as a result, the society will develop faster and better leaded by the advancement of scientific.
[这一段论证没有说服力，段落内部的层次全是并列，建了一大堆平房，没有深入，先说科研的好，给社会带来进步呀，再说人们希望这样，接着就轻易下结论说，科研还是好的，没有他社会不会进步亚，又回到了前面，用专业术语讲就是circular reasoning。加个例子可以改变这个局面，就像你第一段那样，但我们没有那么多例子，所以论证思路很重要，你可以看看坛子里别人的文章，有很多新手就是通过思路来弥补例子的不足]

Undeniable[admittedly], there still are few people, who pursuit for much personal benefit, use the advanced research for negative purpose. And it’s the time for government to rule and restrict them. For example, when vipers do morphia business, government must punish these vipers that are seriously harmful for the stability of society. Government’ s essential duty, in my opinion, is to lead scientific research developing to the correct direction which is good for the development of our society, and make a quick action when finding it is miss leaded to a wrong way.
[这段还是没有深入，你可以把首句（主题句）和段末句（段落总结句）去掉，剩下的还有什么支撑你的分论点的。后面两段论证要加强，与第一段很不相称]
[三个主体段之间的逻辑层次，还是不错的，有平衡观点的思想，赞一个]

To sum up, as most of scientific researches have good effects to our society, Unless[怎么来了除非，不是完全同意吗，只是要在科研的运用上给予限制，而不是科研本身，所以没有好的开头，后面就要出问题] it has to do some action to make it in the right routine, government should place restriction on scientific research as few as it could in order to motivate science and technology developing fast and good.

[我给你的建议是，一味的限时写，闭门造车，没有提高。写好后一定要修改，从思路上，从语言上，使文章更饱满，再多看看别人的文章，多借鉴借鉴，这样积少成多，一定会有进步的
总体不错的，主要把我说得问题多注意注意，顺带语言也磨一磨，不是母语嘛，你会写得更好，加油！！]

siyuandingUID: 2154137

哇，竟然被别人抢先，失败呀！  :mad

supper_xuUID: 2227277

谢谢娓娓和坚持到底！
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