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I do not agree with the speaker’s claim that government should support science research and development without any constrains, because there are more disadvantages than advantages.开头和我范了一样的毛病^_^不能只说支持或者不支持作者观点,更要表明自己观点。
Without constrains【constrain是动词,用constrainting】, science research will develop freely, and any fields of which will thrive. 【改写:scientific research will develop so freely that any aspects of it, no matter benificial ones or harmful ones】这句TS没有很好的回应主题,看了你的这句话,感觉后面应该写限制的好处,但是我想你B1应该是想写限制会阻碍发展As we all know, government invest a large number of money on science research every year, but it is not say【means】 every research institutes can receive the support without any examination. In fact, many of the suggested projects are denied at the beginning, or laid aside because of without any apparent achievement for a long time. If government support every science plan without any constrains, most of the science research can go no, which can create more science achievements. In this sense, government should support science development with less constraining.
The restriction may sometimes prevent the development of science, however, it has many active influences not only to the science but also our society.
First, the restriction of government can direct money using more effectively to attain more valuable achievements. While the money used in science is limited, how to use the limited money to get the greatest achievement for the society is an important event which government should consider. On the one hand, money is always invested in the emergency problems like environment problems, AZT and so forth. On the other hand, government constrains the purpose of using money, or it will be wasted or used for other goal. Therefore, the role of government can support more valuable science research.
Second, the restriction of government can guarantee the safety of science search to our society. Many harmful weapons such as nuke, while anyone can study them without any restriction, will largely threat our society. Besides, some people or organization, which survive in our society without moral and ethic but high intelligence, make some terrible research like bacteria to threat people’s live. In addition, some of the science research may lead to environment problems, for instance, waster residue of medical and chemistry experiments put into the river or soil all will cause the pollution. These problems, all of which cannot be resolved by individual in our society except government, who can use some measurement to constrain the research of some harmful science and make some policies and index to control the population of science experiments. Therefore, government plays an important role in science safety for our society.
In summary, science research with no constraining may improve the development of science, but it has many disadvantages to science research and our society. Therefore, government should support science development with some restriction on safety, efficiency and the macro-goal.
你的思路:
B1,restriction会阻碍科学发展
B2,过渡段
B3,B4,restriction对科学和社会的积极作用
不知道我分析的对不对?如果是这样,那么你文章没有完全按照这个思路下来,尤其是B1。再一个问题就是文章是要谈论政府限制的利弊,而你很多是谈资助的问题,你可以看看I44,看和这篇有什么区别。
语言有待加强,毕竟不是母语,多看看别人写的。加油! |
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