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[i习作temp] issue109 【自由女神小组第十二次作业】 [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-2-4 17:32:55 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ISSUE109 - "The purpose of many advertisements is to make consumers want to buy a product so that they will 'be like' the person in the ad. This practice is effective because it not only sells products but also helps people feel better about themselves."
WORDS: 443          TIME: 上午 01:00:00          DATE: 2007-2-2

Advertisement ,which can attract consumers' attention and impact the public ,  is an important tool for merchandise to sell out more productions .The arguments whether advertisements make consumers feel better or deceive them  never stop. However, the effects whether negative or positive depend on the kinds of consumers.

Nowadays ,the competition among various kinds of productions belonging to different companies is violent .To gain more profits, a company must own more fixed consumers who are fond of the productions of the company .And advertisement is the best way to appeal the consumers and turn them from common consumers to the fans of the productions. Why advertisement is so attractive? When we sit afront of TV, we can see thousands of ads. Always, a good-looking girl ,usually a model, says that she like the cosmetic in and the cosmetic has amazing effects to make her looks more young. Sometime , a expertise , who is the elites of medical fields, says that the medicine is so functional that the patients should never miss it. Absolutely , in this circumstance  most of us will yield to the lure of the advertisement and buy the merchandises. That's why the companies pay abundant investments on the ads.

It is believed that ads make consumers feel the same as the actors or actress in the ads. Absolutely , it's why ads are so charming. However, does the whole consumers feel better themselves ?Different type of person makes the answer different .We can categorize consumers into two types - self-esteem and self-suspect. A person full of confidence, usually  adult, often buy the production propagandized  in the ads because  he or she can gain pleasure from the production which he or she judges as valuable in the ads. Such persons don't admire the charming actors in the ads while they believe they can be more hale after they use the production.

When ads meet some self-suspect person, usually some young people, the ads seem more Siren than a beautiful girl. Such persons are lack of confidence because of some flaws they own and they dream to be as charming as the actors or actress in the ads. For example, a maid, whose skin is a little black, see a ads that show a effective cosmetic  which can make skin more white. In the ads a white and beautiful model persuade people to buy the cosmetic and she promise every girl will be as white as she is. The ads emerge just when the maid dreams to be more white. Absolutely ,she is attracted and generous to buy the production .However, when the maid find the effect is not as good as she dreamed, she feels deceived and may be more self-suspect. Consequently, when ads meet such person, the ads seem a nightmare rather than a sweet dream.

Meanwhile, some experts claims that the ads mislead the attention of the public and aggrandize the effects of the production .The criticism never stop while the ads are on its way. In equality, ads are functional as a messenger to show the public new production and a good persuader to bring more fixed consumers for the company .However, there is must some proclaims that the production is functional  in some circumstance and it not heal-all. Only the credits (trust) between the consumers and the company can make the development of the company more healthy.

To summarize , advertisements are always effective  to attract  people’ attention.  (写到这里用一个小时)However not every consumer will be content after buying the production showed in the advertisement and different person will have different reflection.
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发表于 2007-2-11 21:33:18 |只看该作者
拼了!~
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发表于 2007-2-12 00:16:27 |只看该作者

修改

Advertisement ,which can attract consumers' attention and impact the public ,  is an important tool for merchandise(merchant) to sell out more productionsproductions指影片等,应该用products .The arguments whether advertisements make consumers feel better or deceive them never stop. However, the effects whether negative or positive depend on the kinds of consumers.

Nowadays, the competition among various kinds of productions belonging to different companies is violent .To gain more profits, a company must own more fixed consumers who are fond of the productions of the company.  And advertisement is the best way to appeal the consumers and turn them from common consumers to the fans of the productions. Why advertisement is so attractive? When we sit a(in front of TV, we can see thousands of ads. Always, a good-looking girl ,usually a model, says that she like the cosmetic in(去掉) and the cosmetic has amazing effects to make her looks more young. Sometime, a expertise , who is the elites(去掉s of medical fields, says that the medicine is so functional(?effective) that the patients should never miss it(?迷惑ing). Absolutely , in this circumstance  most of us will (yield to)这个词组用得妙the lure of the advertisement and buy the merchandises. That's why the companies pay abundant investments on the ads.讲广告的功用大

It is believed that ads make consumers feel the same as the actors or actress in the ads. Absolutely , it's why ads are so charming.(这个句式在文章较多次的出现,可以尝试变化下哈) However, does(do) the whole consumers feel better themselves ?Different type of person makes the answer different .We can categorize consumers into two types - self-esteem and self-suspect. A person full of confidence, usually  adult, often buy the production propagandized  in the ads because  he or she can gain pleasure from the production which he or she judges as valuable in the ads. Such personspeople don't admire the charming actors in the ads while they believe they can be more hale after they use the production.

When ads meet some self-suspect person, usually some young people, the ads seem more Siren than a beautiful girl. Such persons are(are去掉) lack of confidence because of some flaws they own and they dream to be as charming as the actors or actress in the ads. For example, a maid,madam or lady whose skin is a little black, see a ads that show a effective cosmetic  which can make skin more white. In the ads a white and beautiful model persuades people to buy the cosmetic and she promise every girl will be as white as she is. The ads emerge just when the maid dreams to be more white.这句话好象没什么意义 Absolutely ,是个好词,但在文章中出现的频率有点多哦she is attracted and generous to buy the production .However, when the maid find the effect is not as good as she dreamed, she feels deceived and may be more self-suspect. Consequently, when ads meet such person, the ads seem a nightmare rather than a sweet dream. 讲广告对于自信和自卑的人产生不同的效果,可否将两段并在一起,或者在这段前加个But

Meanwhile, some experts claims that the ads mislead the attention of the public and aggrandize the effects of the production .The criticism never stop while the ads are on itstheir前后一致 way. In equality, ads are functional as a messenger to show the public new production and a good persuader这句在单复数上要注意 to bring more fixed consumers for the company .However, there is must some proclaims that the production is functional  in some circumstance and it not heal-all. Only the credits (trust) between the consumers and the company can make the development of the company more healthy. 觉得这段可以删去,尽管说得有道理,但好象脱离了主题

To summarize这个好,有创新 , advertisements are always effective  to attract  peoples’ attention.  (写到这里用一个小时)However not every consumer will be content after buying the production showed in the advertisement and different person will have different reflection.个人觉得这一句可删掉,并且太多人使用different…different
    1.标点方面要注意,打了标点后再空格。
2.文章结构清晰。
3.构思很好,但有种表达限制了思维的感觉。
有什么说得不对的地方,nujnujoahz可莫怪哦

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RE: issue109 【自由女神小组第十二次作业】 [修改]

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issue109 【自由女神小组第十二次作业】
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