argument180 [米国有米]春节作业2.20

森林116UID: 2272614

TOPIC: ARGUMENT180 - The following is a recommendation from the personnel director to the president of Acme Publishing Company.
"Many other companies have recently stated that having their employees take the Easy Read Speed-Reading Course has greatly improved productivity. One graduate of the course was able to read a five-hundred-page report in only two hours; another graduate rose from an assistant manager to vice president of the company in under a year. Obviously, the faster you can read, the more information you can absorb in a single workday. Moreover, Easy Read costs only $500 per employee-a small price to pay when you consider the benefits to Acme. Included in this fee is a three-week seminar in Spruce City and a lifelong subscription to the Easy Read newsletter. Clearly, Acme would benefit greatly by requiring all of our employees to take the Easy Read course."
WORDS: 504+          TIME: 0:30:00+修改         DATE: 2007-2-20

In this argument, the arger asserts that all of the employees in Acme Publishing Company should take the Easy Read Speed-Reading. To support his conclusion, the arguer presents examples of two graduates who attended the course, which seems really unconvincing that I will explain below. Besides, the argument also should be examined from other several angles.

To begin with, the two examples the arguer provides could not make us believiable that the course is really efficient as the argument describes. Firstly the arguer tells us one graduate could read a five-hundred-page report in only two hours, while we neither know how much content he really mastered during the 2 hours, for maybe he just make a quick scan without remembering anything but make a untrue self-report, nor whether the ability he owns because of attending the course, it is posible that he has already mastered the capability before. Secondly, another example of the graduate who gets a raise seems less relevant to support the course, since we do not know the reason of his rising, how can the arguer simply relate the raise to the course? Though the raise happened after attending the course, it does not mean that the latter results in the former.

Moreover, even we ignore the effect of those unknown factors discussed above, whether we should send our employees to the course is still need further consideration. The two special example themselves are either could not represent the majority of the employees attending the course. For the arguer fails to tell us what the other graduates gain in their own company, does this course make them also receive a rise in position, or their wages become more? What is more, whether the course will meet the demand of our own company is suspicious, it is possible that many positions in Acme Publishing company needn't such ability of speed reading, but demand other capabilities such as managing, analysing, caculating, and so on. In this way, what the arguer suggest seems not so proper to the company itself.

Last but not the least, the arguer refer to the cost of attending the course, that he says the 500 dollars per employee is a small price to pay while comparing to the benefits, however, I think what he says is really ridiculous. Since we don't know what the current financial situation of the company and lack detailed number to make a comparision to the 500 dollars, how can the arger make a judge that it is a small number? Furthermore the benefits in the arguer’s imagination are also unsure in real, for the improvement in quailituy of the employees should not be equal to the profits of the company, the latter results from many aspects such as the cost of raw material, competing with opponents, and the current economic of the market, what the employee presented in company only take small count of the all factors.

To sum up, this argument is not logically acceptable as it stands by. To strengthen his conclusion, the arguer should provide more examples of the gaduates who really get succeeded from the course and tells us more about whether we should need the course too. Only with more convincing evidence would this argument seem more than just an emotional appealing.

ntmlgszUID: 2235666

In this argument, the arguer asserts thatall of the employees in Acme Publishing Company should take the Easy ReadSpeed-Reading. To support his conclusion, the arguer presents examples of twograduates who attended the course, which seems reallyunconvincing that I will explain below. [这里的语法错误，你的that I will explain below是修饰什么呢]Besides, the argument also should be examined from other severalangles.

To begin with, the two examples the arguer provides could not make us believiable that the course is really efficient as theargument describes. Firstly the arguer tells us one graduate could read afive-hundred-page report in only two hours, while we neither know how muchcontent he really mastered during the 2 hours, for maybe he just make a quickscan without remembering anything but make a untrue self-report, nor whetherthe ability he owns because of attending the course, it is possible that he hasalready mastered the capability before [what?参加那个阅读培训]. Secondly, another example of the graduate whogets a raise seems less relevant to support the course,[断句] since we do not know the reason of his rising, how can the arguersimply relate the raise to the course? Though the raise happened afterattending the course, it does not mean that the latterresults in the former.[不完整]

Moreover, even we ignore the effect of those unknown factors discussed above,whether we should send our employees to the course is[去掉] still need furtherconsideration. The two special example themselves are either[改为either 放在句尾] could not represent the majority of the employees attending thecourse. For the arguer fails to tell us what the other graduates gain in theirown company, does this course make them also receive a rise in position, ortheir wages become more?[过于口语化了这里，不符合正式的书写结构] What is more, whether the coursewill meet the demand of our own company is suspicious,[断句] it is possible that many positionsin Acme Publishing company needn't such ability of speed reading, but demandother capabilities such as managing, analyzing, calculating, and so on. In thisway, what the arguer suggest[+s] seems not soproper to the company itself. [攻击和补充的都很好]

Last but not the least, the arguer refer[+s] to the cost of attending the course, that hesays the 500 dollars per employee is a small price to pay while comparing tothe benefits, however, I think what he says is really ridiculous. Since wedon't know what the current financial situation of the company and lackdetailed number to make a comparison to the 500 dollars, how can the arguermake a judge that it is a small number? Furthermore the benefits in thearguer’s imagination are also unsure in real, for the improvement in qualityof the employees should not be equal to the profits of the company,[这里有因果关系吗？] [断句]the latter results frommany aspects such as the cost of raw material, competing with opponents, andthe current economic of the market, what the employee presented in company onlytake small count of the all factors.[再总结下你的攻击]

To sum up, this argument is not logically acceptable as it stands by. Tostrengthen his conclusion, the arguer should provide more examples of the graduateswho really get succeeded from the course and tells us more about whether weshould need the course too. Only with more convincing evidence would thisargument seem more than just an emotional appealing.
[总结的很好，文章段落之间应该更连贯，更紧密才对，否则攻击就没有明显的展现其作用]