argument200 [AWB小组] 第三次作业

dennis1230UID: 2247126

TOPIC: ARGUMENT200 - Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.


The argument concludes that dentists who advertise to attract patients should hit the market of male consumer. To support the conclusion the argument claim that men more suffer with the distress about having dental work done than women do according to the evidence that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. However, the argument is flawed in a series of critical respects, and is therefore unconvincing.

To begin with, the argument is based on the survey that more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. Yet the survey appears to suffer from a statistical problem which renders the survey's result unpersuasive. It is probable other explanations on three times of fainting rather than the assumption that men's more likely to be distressed than women's. Firstly, the rate of fainting is much more reliable than the times of fainting. Perhaps, most of the faint men visit the dentist but the rest always choose other methods instead. Secondly, the men, who are confronted with the distressed, are more likely to faint, and on the contrary, most of the women keep conscience all the time. Thus, it is not guaranteed that the men are more likely to be distressed.

Even if the men actually suffering with distressed are more than women, the argument cannot make a conclusion that dentists should target the male consumer. The survey does not show the data that how many male and female consumers visit the dentist. If the market of male consumer is not open enough, the advertisement is conspicuous a waste of time and money with little reward. Moreover, the female consumer, perhaps, prefer other dentists who advertise to attract female patients to this, since those dentists offer the better service for women. Without the market analysis, the dentists cannot accept the conclusion and adopt the method.

Finally, the argument only accentuates both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff. However, the speaker do not mention the other factors which the patients take serious, such as the condition, the position of the dentist, the lever of dentists' operation, and so forth. On the other hand, it is possibly ineffective in that majority of the male consumer don not focus on the advertisement. Unless the speaker can justify the necessity of the work suggested, we will doubt about whether the dentists can benefit from this or not.

In summary, the argument is weak on several grounds. To strengthen it, the speaker must provide clear evidence that the men are more likely to be distressed than women are, and substantiate that the advertisement is the best way to hit the market of male consumer.

谢谢

tly823UID: 2145205

The argument concludes that dentists who advertise to attract patients should hit the market of male consumer[这种用法还比较新颖]. To support the conclusion the argument claim that men more suffer [suffer more] with the distress about having dental work done than women do[,] according to the evidence that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. However, the argument is flawed in a series of critical respects, and is therefore [therefore it is] unconvincing.

To begin with, the argument is based on the survey that more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. Yet the survey appears to suffer from a statistical problem which renders the survey's result unpersuasive. It is probable other explanations on three times of fainting rather than the assumption that men's[are] more likely to be distressed than women's[are]. Firstly, the rate of fainting is much more reliable than the times of fainting. Perhaps, most of the faint men visit the dentist but the rest always choose other methods instead[这个理由很牵强，你应该说也许来看病的男性大大多于女性。所以晕的人也相对较多]. Secondly, the men, who are confronted with the distressed,[可以加上插入成分“由于生理原因”] are more likely to faint, and on the contrary, most of the women keep conscience all the time. Thus, it is not guaranteed that the men are more likely to be distressed.

Even if the men actually suffering with distressed are more than women, the argument cannot make a conclusion that dentists should target the male consumer. The survey does not show the data that how many male and female consumers visit the dentist. If the market of male consumer is not open enough, the advertisement is conspicuous a waste of time and money with little reward. Moreover, the female consumer, perhaps, prefer other dentists who advertise to attract female patients to this, since those dentists offer the better service for women. Without the market analysis, the dentists cannot accept the conclusion and adopt the method. [这段论证不错]

Finally, [来个让步，即使男性是主要的消费群，也不能保证XXX能吸引男性客户]the argument only accentuates both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff. However, the speaker do not mention the[去掉] other factors which the patients take serious, such as the condition, the position of the dentist, the lever[level] of dentists' operation, and so forth. On the other hand, it is possibly ineffective in that majority of the male consumer don not focus on the advertisement[It is possible that dentists are not effectifve as the advertisement advocates and thus the consumers will not trust the advertisement]. Unless the speaker can justify the necessity of the work suggested, we will doubt about whether the dentists can benefit from this or not.

In summary, the argument is weak on several grounds. To strengthen it, the speaker must provide clear evidence that the men are more likely to be distressed than women are, and substantiate that the advertisement is the best way to hit the market of male consumer.


驳论的三个方面比较清晰，论证条理也很清楚，再加强一点逻辑性使文章更严谨就更好了。
开头结尾都形成了自己的初步模版。
有进步！