issue185 [076G飞跃小组]syjoli第三次作业

syjoliUID: 2296328

其实这是我的第一篇ISSUE哦，所以都不知道自己所云，开头，结尾的模板都没有整理，只是先试着写一篇，找出问题和不足，希望大家多多指点，谢谢。

“Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus on attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.”

丑闻，无论是政治，学术还是其他领域，可能会是有用的，丑闻可以用演说家或者改革家无法使用的手段让我们注意到某些问题。

Due to advancement of digital technology, Scandal, whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful and helpful to recognize the hidden facts from those who called public （不是speakers or reformers ）persons had done,在这谢谢CAGER帮我改正这个错误理解.,. However, further reflections show that ,as for me, media pressman should carefully reasonably report the events according to the truth.

Admittedly, Scandals is significantly widespread and important in current society, which appealing to more common people focus on attention on problems in ways that speakers or reformers had done by  private ways. Especially includes whose pop stars, leaders of nation, famous professors and so forth., As we know ,some pop stars, well-known movie stars would like to accumulate more property on personal consumption rather than hand in responsible tax for the nation, while when the media show the truth that expose the whole event completely, the punishment will be waiting for her or him. By doing so, it’s wise way to protect and obey the Tax Law so that there are less stars will follow the ascendants in the same way because of considering their own favorable aspects which much more benefit than illegal behavior. Thus, it’s beneficial for our country  and  also set up a good example for others.

Meanwhile, Scandals just like a sharp sword conquer dangerous animals in same way to find out，The real matters were hidden under politic background. Corruption is one of chief issues was Shelter within the government of some regional areas, For instance, one of county leaders in my hometown, some other people who cater to him and  take money for bribing by his powerful privilege,  Partly including a large numbers of substance supply, such as  world super expensive wine,famous brand of tobacco and real money. It’s severely influence local people's benefit and damage his own personality and morality when finally the media expose the scandals, the relative departments such as policeman, government and court involves in this big case to deal with him for establish well-being example for other officials, now in jail, that’s he deserved he did. Scandals also called kind of crime, but there are different levels they depends on, which contains committing a crime by power, or reveal their privacy in careless way for immorality, or far away from ethic spirit. Majority of these what I mentioned above is fatally dangerous for our society and our country, certainly including those who regarded as black sheep was damaging our relevant behalf and losing confidences of demos.

However, Without scandals the private hidden truth will keep rolling for notorious action to continue to harm national benefit which is result in bad circle from  point of view of economic theory. Gradually, more and more famed people, like pop stars will follow the one that enjoy tax evasion, What’s more worse, political leaders will go on making full use of their power do what they want even if  it is not permitted or by illegal way .some other famous professors in university regardless of personal image and ability to make propaganda their books are published on the surface ,indeed for final goal merely is money, no matter what quality of books relies on ,just concentrate on  profit owing to final triumph。

In addition, overweigh scandals is helpless and meaningless for society ,some little mistakes was created by some leaders, as there is saying goes: No perfect one in the world .But media aggrandize the fact that play negative effects on the case .On the condition that people believe the scandals, fighting against them although they carry out new correct policy for the local people ,who will obtain and cause harmful result and lose beneficial opportunities. Therefore, that’s the case that we should be carefully and considerately cautiously observe where is real verity .On the contrary, truth will be covered, justice will be ignored, and the whole society will prove to be a world without any regulation or rule.

In summary, Scandals can be useful and helpful for us, no matter in politics, academia and other areas, to certain extent, our people will pay much attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could do. But excessive aggrandize scandals will move into opposite direction to mislead to crossroad and impede the progress of our society. From this point of view, proper and appropriate scandals are necessary also required for society




[ 本帖最后由 syjoli 于 2007-3-2 21:52 编辑 ]

joyce8512UID: 2263806

Due to advancement of digital technology, Scandal, whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful and helpful to recognize the hidden facts from those who called public speakers or reformers had done.,. However, further reflections show that ,as for me, media pressman should carefully reasonably report the events according to the truth.[两个副词不能连用，可以后置should report the event carefully and reasonably]

Admittedly, Scandals is significantly widespread and important in current society, which appealing to more common people focus on attention on problems in ways that speakers or reformers had done by  private ways. Especially includes whose[这句有问题，不如就说such as those/ especially those……] pop stars, leaders of nation, famous professors and so forth., As we know ,some pop stars, well-known movie stars[前者包括后者了] would like to accumulate more property on personal consumption rather than hand in responsible tax for the nation, while when the media show the truth that expose the whole event completely, the punishment will be waiting for her or him. By doing so, it’s wise way to protect and obey the Tax Law so that there are less stars will follow the ascendants in the same way because of considering their own favorable aspects which much more benefit than illegal behavior. Thus, it’s beneficial for our country  and  also set up a good example for others.

Meanwhile, Scandals just like a sharp sword conquer dangerous animals in same way to find out，The real matters were hidden under politic background.[这句比喻好。但是最好不要用在段首。TS要简洁明了，直接指出你的观点就好。精彩句子分析论证时再用] Corruption is one of chief issues was Shelter within the government of some regional areas, For instance, one of county leaders in my hometown, some other people who cater to him and  take money for bribing by his powerful privilege,  Partly including a large numbers of substance supply, such as  world super expensive wine,famous brand of tobacco and real money. It’s severely influence local people's benefit and damage his own personality and morality when finally the media expose the scandals, the relative departments such as policeman, government and court involves in this big case to deal with him for establish well-being example for other officials, now in jail, that’s he deserved he did. 这句话不太好~跟上面的稍有脱节Scandals also called kind of crime, but there are different levels they depends on, which contains committing a crime by power, or reveal their privacy in careless way for immorality, or far away from ethic spirit. Majority of these what I mentioned above is fatally dangerous for our society and our country, certainly including those who regarded as black sheep was damaging our relevant behalf and losing confidences of demos.

However, Without scandals the private hidden truth will keep rolling for notorious action to continue to harm national benefit which is result in bad circle from  point of view of economic theory. Gradually, more and more famed people, like pop stars will follow the one that enjoy tax evasion, What’s more[去掉，是固定搭配] worse, political leaders will go on making full use of their power do what they want even if  it is not permitted or by illegal way .some other famous professors in university regardless of personal image and ability to make propaganda their books are published on the surface ,indeed for final goal merely is money, no matter what quality of books relies on ,just concentrate on  profit owing to final triumph。

In addition, overweigh[这个词不能这样用的，只能是sth overweighs sth] scandals is helpless and meaningless for society ,some little mistakes was created by some leaders, as there is saying goes: No perfect one in the world .But media aggrandize the fact that play negative effects on the case .On the condition that people believe the scandals, fighting against them although they carry out new correct policy for the local people ,who will obtain and cause harmful result and lose beneficial opportunities. Therefore, that’s the case that we should be carefully and considerately cautiously observe where is real verity .On the contrary, truth will be covered, justice will be ignored, and the whole society will prove to be a world without any regulation or rule.

In summary, Scandals can be useful and helpful for us, no matter in politics, academia and other areas, to certain extent, our people will pay much attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could do. But excessive aggrandize scandals will move into opposite direction to mislead to crossroad and impede the progress of our society. From this point of view, proper and appropriate scandals are necessary also required for society

刚改完一次，校网断了~汗
结构完全没有问题，观点也很明确。
语言方面还可以改进。另外，大小写和标点有点乱，以后要注意哦~
还有，你的主体部分是四段。以后写的话都是三段就可以了，比较好把握。
总体上8错的，加油~:loveliness:

[ 本帖最后由 joyce8512 于 2007-3-2 20:06 编辑 ]

syjoliUID: 2296328

hehe,,是吗？我的第一篇ISSUE哦，谢谢JOYCE MM、。。你说的标点符号一直是我的心病啊。其实我是想写三段的，但是IN ADDITION后面有点长，所以多写一段了。

syjoliUID: 2296328

汗ING,,,发现很多标点符号都是逗号。。。。。。。。。可能也跟WORD文档里面写吧，，看不清楚那些标点。FIGHTING,,,,,,,,,,,改掉坏毛病。。。。。。。。。。。。。

cagerUID: 2267706

Due to advancement of digital technology, Scandal, whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful and helpful to recognize the hidden facts from those who called public speakers or reformers had done.,. However, further reflections show that ,as for me, media pressman should carefully reasonably report the events according to the truth.

Admittedly, Scandals is significantly widespread and important in current society, which appealing to more common people focus on attention（focus attention on） on problems in ways that speakers or reformers had done by  private ways. Especially includes whose（including those） pop stars, leaders of nation, famous professors and so forth., As we know ,some pop stars, well-known movie stars would like to accumulate more property on personal consumption rather than hand in responsible tax for the nation, while when the media show the truth that expose the whole event completely, the punishment will be waiting for her or him. By doing so, it’s a wise way to protect and obey the Tax Law so that there are less stars will follow the ascendants in the same way because of considering their own favorable aspects which much more benefit than illegal behavior. Thus, it’s beneficial for our country  and  also set up a good example for others.

Meanwhile, Scandals just like a sharp sword conquer dangerous animals in same way to find out，The real matters were hidden under politic background. Corruption is one of chief issues was Shelter within the government of some regional areas(regions or areas),(语法有问题) For instance, one of county leaders in my hometown, some other people who cater to him and  take money for bribing by his powerful privilege,  Partly including a large numbers of substance supply, such as  world super expensive wine,famous brand of tobacco and real money. It’s severely influence local people's benefit and damage his own personality and morality when finally the media expose the scandals, the relative departments such as policeman, government and court involves in this big case to deal with him for establish well-being example for other officials, now in jail, that’s he deserved he did. Scandals also called kind of crime, but there are different levels they depends on, which contains committing a crime by power, or reveal their privacy in careless way for immorality, or far away from ethic spirit. Majority of these what I mentioned above is fatally dangerous for our society and our country, certainly including those who regarded as black sheep was damaging our relevant behalf and losing confidences of demos.

However, Without scandals the private hidden truth will keep rolling for notorious action to continue to harm national benefit which is result in bad circle from  point of view of economic theory. Gradually, more and more famed people, like pop stars will follow the one that enjoy tax evasion, What’s more worse, political leaders will go on making full use of their power do what they want even if  it is not permitted or by illegal way .some other famous professors in university regardless of personal image and ability to make propaganda their books are published on the surface ,indeed for final goal merely is money, no matter what quality of books relies on ,just concentrate on  profit owing to final triumph。

In addition, overweigh scandals is helpless and meaningless for society ,some little mistakes was created by some leaders, as there is saying goes: No perfect one in the world .But media aggrandize the fact that play negative effects on the case .On the condition that people believe the scandals, fighting against them although they carry out new correct policy for the local people ,who will obtain and cause harmful result and lose beneficial opportunities. Therefore, that’s the case that we should be carefully and considerately cautiously observe where is real verity .On the contrary（otherwise）, truth will be covered, justice will be ignored, and the whole society will prove to be a world without any regulation or rule.

In summary, Scandals can be useful and helpful for us, no matter in politics, academia and other areas, to certain extent, our people will pay much attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could do. But excessive aggrandize scandals will move into opposite direction to mislead to crossroad and impede the progress of our society. From this point of view, proper and appropriate scandals are necessary also required for society


内容比较完整，组织结构上都不错
但是语言要多加斟酌
第一次写很8错了，继续努力