issue51(argu147/17 Transcend小组第一次作业by onlylove 求拍)

onlyloveUID: 2306786

issue51 "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

In this era of rapid social and technological development leading to increasing life complexity and job pressure, both the employers and employees call for an effective education which could make students better prepared. A lot of people have a fantasy that only when education can cater for every student’s needs and interests, can education be really effective. Anyway, I do not agree with this assertion.

It must be agreed that interests are the best teachers for learning. Anyone who has interests on something could easily concentrate on it and has infinite power to study on it. The world’s richest person Bill Gates is just the person who has gained much from his interests. It could be imagined if Bill Gates didn’t leave school to further his interests in computer and software and to develop his Microsoft cooperation, possibly we even could not edit our passages on computer today. We would have missed too much. Admitting the enormous power immersed in personal interests, I must say that personal needs and interests are not everything after all.

Can meeting individual needs and interests make education truly effective? Truly effective education should efficiently produce their products, that is to say, make students well prepared: having good control of one or more special skills and talents, a wide information range, good communication skills, and most importantly all right moral state. But it is susceptible an effective education can be attained through catering for personal interests.

On the one side, considering education’s one aim- knowledge and skills, excessively focusing on personal needs and interests could lead to some unexpected results. Some fundamental knowledge and skills like language, mathematics, physics etc may be absent in these students’ knowledge system. And also this kind of education will make students all be specialist without generalist. Even if interests could be the best teachers for absorb knowledge, it is not so confirmed that every student having interests can learn well, actually they still need guidance. Let me also take Bill Gates as an example, if he doesn’t learn much knowledge about business besides his interest software, he cannot succeed at all.

On the other side, in view of another intention of education- how to communicate with each other and how to be a society citizen, specifically designed education cannot attain this intention. Only a person with a wide range of knowledge and information could communicate with different kinds of people easily and fluently. Therefore, there is no good for students to only focusing on their own interests as respect of communication. Since we are all one part of the society, we must also need education to teach us some rules of the society- laws and ethics.

There are many other ways to make education effective. Activities could teach students how to cooperate, communicate, competition, and teamwork. And if some important subject some student dislikes it, we can induce his interests through efforts. And then as Chinese Confucius has recommended, teaching students in accordance of their aptitude may be also one way to make effective education.

Therefore, there is no definite relation between effective education and catering for individual interests and needs. Students’ interests could not only lead themselves to profound thought but also may lead them narrowly-circled. It is education’s duty to harmonize students’ interests and needs with society’s needs.

Argument147
1, First, there is a vital fault with this argument. No corresponding of the objects of survey and the objects of advertisement exists. We can just know from the argument that Whirlwind had an extensive advertising campaign directed to people 10 to 25 years to promote some games with lifelike graphics preferred by another group of people we don’t know their age. It is possible these most likely playing-game people don’t consider graphics so much. It is also possible since 10-25 years youths don’t have so much money in buying up-to date computers, they don’t play such high-graphic games at all, not to mention buying these games.
2, Second, even people who correspond to the survey is just the people who mostly like playing games, it is still dubious that they will buy these games from Whirlwind. There is no evidence that games from Whirlwind are more powerful and more price-advantageous than that of other cooperation’s.

Argument17.
1．   一周收两次垃圾很可能没有必要，我们社区一周收一次其实就够了。
2． 20辆卡车就能办到的事情，我们没必要因为你为扩大公司规模增加卡车数量而付额外的钱。何况，谁能保证你多购的这些卡车是为了服务我们社区，而不是为了在别的社区抢生意呢？
3．去年的满意度调查也不符合实际情况，调查的时间我们很多人不在家，没有作出应答。而且，在作出应答的少数几户人家也是你们事先打过招呼的，一点都不客观。
4．Ok,即使你服务是真的好，订卡车也在于更好的为我们社区服务，为什么从此以后每个月都要加四分之一那么多钱呢？是不是因为你们认为我们已经习惯你们公司，就乱加费用呢？如果你们成本确实有提高，这个多收费的问题还是有待更加精确的计算，如果有乱提高费用的嫌疑，我们还是要换公司。

[ 本帖最后由 onlylove 于 2007-3-6 10:18 编辑 ]

onlyloveUID: 2306786

沉的好快，自己踢一下！:loveliness:

see329UID: 2260355

In this era of rapid social and technological development leading to increasing life complexity and job pressure (最好不要用), both the employers and employees call for an effective education which could make students better prepared. //（感觉第一句作用不大，考虑删...）A lot of people have a fantasy that only when education can cater for every student’s needs and interests can education be really effective. Anyway, I do not agree with this assertion.

It must be agreed that interests are the best teachers for learning. Anyone who has interests on something could easily concentrate on it and has infinite power to study on it. The world’s richest person Bill Gates is just the person who has gained much from his interests. It could be imagined if Bill Gates didn’t leave school to further his interests in computer and software and to develop his Microsoft cooperation, possibly we even could not edit our passages on computer today. We would have missed too much. Admitting the enormous power immersed in personal interests, I must say (am convincing) that personal needs and interests are not everything after all.

Can meeting individual needs and interests make education truly effective? Truly effective education should efficiently produce their products, that is to say, make students well prepared: having good control of one or more special skills and talents, a wide information range, good communication skills, and most importantly all right moral state. But it is susceptible (suspected) an effective education can be attained through catering for personal interests.

On the one side, considering education’s one aim- knowledge and skills, excessively focusing on personal needs and interests could lead to some unexpected results. Some fundamental knowledge and skills like language, mathematics, physics etc may be absent in these students’ knowledge system. And also this kind of education will make students all be specialist without generalist. Even if interests could be the best teachers for absorb knowledge, it is not so confirmed that every student having interests can learn well, actually they still need guidance. Let me also take Bill Gates as an example, if he doesn’t learn much knowledge about business besides his interest software, he cannot succeed at all.

On the other side, in view of another intention of education- how to communicate with each other and how to be a society citizen, specifically designed education cannot attain this intention. Only a person with a wide range of knowledge and information could communicate with different kinds of people easily and fluently. Therefore, there is no good for students to only focusing on their own interests as respect of communication. Since we are all one part of the society, we must also need education to teach us some rules of the society- laws and ethics.

There are many other ways to make education effective. Activities could teach students how to cooperate, communicate, competition, and teamwork. And if some important subject some student dislikes it, we can induce his interests through efforts. And then as Chinese Confucius has recommended, teaching students in accordance of their aptitude may be also one way to make effective education.

Therefore, there is no definite relation between effective education and catering for individual interests and needs. Students’ interests could not only lead themselves to profound thought but also may lead them narrowly-circled. It is education’s duty to harmonize students’ interests and needs with society’s needs.

评：（红字为我认为不妥的地方，下划线表示好的地方）
1．        第一段第一句话是套话，最好不要使用。
2．        第二段的作用很模糊.....作者用意是？
3．        作者的行文逻辑还不是很强烈，首段的中心句和后面的展开不太一样。最好能在第一段最后一句表明自己的观点和行为逻辑思路。
4．        语言和例子不错，很多不错的句型。

互相批评，共同进步！

see329UID: 2260355

怎么红字出现不了啊？

onlyloveUID: 2306786

谢谢see329.
1.第一句，仔细看的话，就会发现这句话是由某篇6分范文开头改过来的:loveliness: 纯属无聊，凑字～
2.恩，行文逻辑，我的软肋。
3.本意是，第二段让步，
           第三段对四五段的总结，三四五这三段本是一段，无奈太长被我切开。
           第六段提出别的可行方案。
;d: 段数似乎太多哈
4.红字从word照贴过来是没有的，如果你把要修改的文章整篇复制到回复，然后预览，编辑，即可看到可以改字体颜色，下划线等等。
anyway,thankyou!

onlyloveUID: 2306786

issue51 "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

A lot of people have a fantasy that only when education can cater for every student’s needs and interests can education be really effective. However, considering the aims of education, this kind of education cannot turn out truly effective but make even worse results.
As we know, effective education should attain education’s aims. For the students and the society, it means making students well prepared in both the brain and the heart: having good control of one or more special skills and talents, a wide information range,  and good communication skills. But it is suspected that an effective education can be attained through catering for personal interests and needs.
Considering education’s one aim- knowledge and skills, excessively focusing on personal needs and interests could lead to incomplete knowledge systems and make the world filled with specialists without generalists. For example, fundamental knowledge like languages, mathematics and physics may be absent in students’ knowledge system who don’t have interest in them. However, a wide range of knowledge is an important characteristic for success nowadays. Let me take Bill Gates as an example. If he only focused on his interest in PC and software, paying no attention to business and economy, we cannot imagine how can he build up the Microsoft Corporation and dominate the PC world till today.
In view of another intention of education- teaching students how to communicate with each other and how to be a society citizen, specially designed education cannot attain this intention either. Only a person with a wide range of knowledge and information could he or she communicate with people from different cultures and backgrounds easily. For example, if we are dealing with people with Islam religion, it makes trouble that we don’t know their special attitudes to pork and pigs. Therefore, there is no good for students to only focusing on their own interests as respect of communication.
However, it must be agreed that anyone who has interests on something could easily concentrate on it and has infinite power to study on it. Bill Gates is also a person who has gained much from his interests. It could be imagined if Bill Gates didn’t leave school to further his interests in computer and software and to develop his Microsoft cooperation, possibly we even could not edit our passages on computers today. Even though admitting the enormous power immersed in personal interests, I am convinced that personal needs and interests are not everything as education’s several aims are concerned in the above paragraphs. Even if interests could be the best teachers for absorbing knowledge, it is not so confirmed that every student having interests can stick to his or her interests and learn well since many students seem to like a unfamiliar subject but give up when actually know about it. Therefore, it is better for teachers to discover or even improve students’ interests, but unwise to focus on interests and needs earlier in life.
Therefore, there is no definite relation between effective education and catering for individual interests and needs. Students’ interests could not only lead themselves to profound thought but also may lead them narrowly-circled. It is education’s duty to harmonize students’ interests and needs with society’s needs.