Argument42 有4.5吗?

susan8940UID: 160449

TOPIC: ARGUMENT42 - The following appeared in a proposal from the economic minister of the country of Paraterra.
"In order to strengthen its lagging economy, last year the government of the nearby country of Bellegea began an advertising campaign to promote ecologically sound tourism (ecotourism). This year the number of foreign visitors arriving at Bellegea's main airport doubled, and per capita income in Bellegea increased by ten percent. To provide more income for the population of Paraterra and also preserve the natural environment of our tiny country, we too should begin to promote ecotourism. To ensure that our advertising campaign is successful, we should hire the current director of Bellegea's National Tourism Office as a consultant for the campaign."
WORDS: 530          TIME: 0:37:14          DATE: 2007-3-22

The author asserts that following the nearby country's example to begin and advertising campaign will effectively promote Paraterra's economy. However, this assertion is totally based on some unpersuasive assumptions that lack enough evidence to support, which makes this argument compleltey unreasonable.

First, there are not enough evidence to show that Bellegea has benefit a lot from the advertising project. The mere fact that the number of foreigh visitors at bellegaea's main airport doubled does not necessarily mean that there are more people visiting this country. It is entirely possible that people are more fond of coming by airplane, thus the increase in the number of visitors in the main airport, while the number of visitors coming by train and ship has largely decreased. If so, the exact fact may be that fewer people visit here in spite of the advertisment.

Moreover, even the increase of visitors are ture, we cannot conclude that the advertising campaign contributes to the increase of people's income. Perhaps Bellegea has done other operations to stimulate its economy, for example, to improve international trade with other nations by outputing more products. So the advertising campaign can never be the only explaination to the impovment of people's income, and we are not sure whether Bellegea really benefit a lot from it.

Further, even though we admit the success Bellegea has achieved with help of the advertising campaign, we can never assure whether this project will work in Paraterra. After all, the author does not provide any evidence to show the similarity between these two countries, thus the conclusion unconvincing. The success of the project in Bellegea may be totally based on the natural conditions of the country, for example, there are lots of beautiful places of interest there which attract people all around the world. However, Paraterra may not have such attractive characters to draw visitors' attention, therefore, the project may never work in Paraterra. Also, even the advertising campaign can help in improving Paraterra's economy, it may never succeed in preserving natural environment of it. With more and more visitors coming into the natural distriction, more pollutions may be caused, more tress may be destroyed by visitors, and so forth. Anyway, the author never provide any evidence to show the natual condisions in Bellegea remain the same, we cannot ignore such possible harm the campaigh may bring.

Finally, even the campaigh has great advantages, it may not appropriate to hire the current director of Bellegea's National Tourism Office as consultant. He can make the project succeed in Bellegea does not mean he/she will sure help a lot in Paraterra. Perhaps he/she leads the success of the project in Bellegea because he/she knows this country very well, but he/she does not a bit know about Paraterra. If so, his/her suggestions may not at all work in Paraterra.

In sum, the argument is totally unconvincing because of lacking of evidence. To make it more warranted, the author has to provide the detailed statistics on numbers of visitors after the campaign comparing with those before it. And other evidence to show the similarity between the two cities and more about the director in Bellegea have all to be given.

ILOVEISSUEUID: 2300195

The author asserts that following the nearby country's example to begin and advertising campaign will effectively promote Paraterra's economy. However, this assertion is totally based on some unpersuasive assumptions that lack enough evidence to support, which makes this argument completely unreasonable(别这么绝对unreasonable as it stands.).

First, there are not enough evidence to show that Bellegea has benefit a lot from the advertising project. The mere fact that the number of foreign visitors at bellegaea's main airport doubled does not necessarily mean that there are more people visiting this country. It is entirely possible that people are more fond of coming by airplane, thus the increase in the number of visitors in the main airport, while the number of visitors coming by train and ship has largely decreased.(直接冒出一个possibility太突然了，并且这个例子也没有展开的好。可以说可能主要来这里的人是通过其他交通工具，而不是飞机，然后。。。。，再然后即时人多了也不一定是来旅游的，可能来开会etc) If so, the exact fact may be that fewer people visit here in spite of the advertisment.（同样不能令人信服）

Moreover, even the increase of visitors are ture, we cannot conclude that the advertising campaign contributes to the increase of people's income.（逻辑跳跃，前半句说的是increase of the visitors，后面怎么突然跳到income了） Perhaps Bellegea has done other operations to stimulate its economy, for example, to improve international trade with other nations by outputing more products. （论述得还不够，并且这里是拿分的好机会，可以再写一两个possibility）So the advertising campaign can never be the only explaination to the impovment of people's income, and we are not sure whether Bellegea really benefit a lot from it.

Further, even though we admit the success Bellegea has achieved with help of the advertising campaign, we can never assure whether this project will work in Paraterra. After all, （first）the author does not provide any evidence to show the similarity between these two countries, thus the conclusion unconvincing.（语法） The success of the project in Bellegea may be totally based on the natural conditions of the country（前后矛盾，前面说有广告帮助，这里又说totally based on natural condition.我明白你意思，但这样写显然不好）, for example, there are lots of beautiful places of interest there which attract people all around the world.（说了等于没说，6份范文肯定会具体到什么place比如beautiful beach等等要具体） However, Paraterra may not have such attractive characters to draw visitors' attention, therefore, the project may never work in Paraterra. Also, （Moreover）even (assuming that)the advertising campaign can help in improving Paraterra's economy, it may never succeed in preserving natural environment of it. (这层内容偏离ts建议换一段，或改ts写法)With more and more visitors coming into the natural distriction, more pollutions may be caused, more tress may be destroyed by visitors, and so forth. Anyway, the author never provide any evidence to show the natual condisions in Bellegea remain the same, we cannot ignore such possible harm the campaigh may bring.（这句总结句应该放到上一层次结束）

Finally, even the campaigh has great advantages, it may not appropriate to hire the current director of Bellegea's National Tourism Office as consultant. He can make the project succeed in Bellegea does not mean he/she will sure help a lot in Paraterra.（批点不好，应该先批可能都不是她的功劳，然后再批你批的） Perhaps he/she leads the success of the project in Bellegea because he/she knows this country very well, but he/she does not a bit know about Paraterra. If so, his/her suggestions may not at all work in Paraterra.（那是不是等他熟悉了就能办好呢？）

In sum, the argument is totally unconvincing（too绝对） because of lacking of evidence. To make it more warranted, the author has to provide the detailed statistics on numbers of visitors after the campaign comparing with those before it. And other evidence to show the similarity between the two cities and more about the director in Bellegea have all to be given.

guangjxxUID: 2271784

Argu写这么多字呀
考试时能写完么!!!