Argument38 [mettle小组]第四次作业

yaoqian0424UID: 2323517

------题目------
The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
'An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism.'
------正文------
The arguer cites the evidence, according to a reported study, that people who live in nearby East Meria with the high consumption of fish see the doctor only once or twice a year to cure colds, to illustrates that eating lots of fish can prevent colds. And since colds are the main reasons for absences from school and work, the arguer recommends the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derives from fish oil as a good measure to prevent colds and reduce absenteeism. The recommendation seems logical at the first sight, but unable to convince us as a rational advice through detailed analysis.

The major problem of the argument is that the arguer assumes a causal relationship where only correlation has been indicated, that means, the arguer fails to provide any cogent evidence that high consumption of fish may contribute to the few times to visit the doctors. The case may be the climate in EM is worm and comfortable without dramatically change, or people in EM pay more attention to health which lead to the rare chance to catch cold. Besides, not every person getting a cold will visit a doctor, in other words, people often call doctor for help in some special condition such as having a high fever, or getting a sever headache and so on while most of them will chose to rest at home or take the medicine themselves. Hence visiting a doctor once or twice a year does not means people get a cold only once or twice per year.  Lacking the evidence to rule out the above-mentioned alternatives, the arguer's assumption of the causal relationship is unwarranted.

Even if it can be proved that high consumption can really contribute to keeping away from colds, the arguer still fails to convince us if the mentioned drug-Ichthaid, which extracted from the fish oil, has the same function as fish. First of all, does the fish oil contain the components that can prevent colds? Secondly, does Ichthaid, the nutritional supplement derived from fish oil also extract the functional ingredients from the fish oil? Without any information to ensure the factor to prevent colds is contained in Ichthaid, we can highly suspect the validity of this medicine. Moreover, we are not aware of any possible side-effect of Ichthaid, which may cause unknown damage to human health. If the demerit of Ichthaid overwhelms its medical effect, we will not dare to take it, let alone making good use of it.

Before I come to my conclusion, it is necessary to point out another flaw that weakens the logic of the argument. That is, the arguer states the reason that colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work to access to the conclusion that the reduction of colds will also be conducive to lowering absenteeism. But no evidence is applied to support this assumption. The arguer fails to tell us the number of people whose absence due to colds and the proportion they account for the whole group of absentees, without which we will suspect whether cold is the main reason for absence. The arguer, however, supplies no illustration on whether people absent from school or work really got a cold or used cold as an excuse to escape from duty. In the latter situation, preventing colds is by no means a good advice to reduce absenteeism since people will then fabricate another reason for absence.

In conclusion, to make the argument more persuasive, the arguer must be based on more thorough investigation to gather sufficient evidence to narrow down if colds are the reason most frequently given for absence and whether the high consumption of fish can contribute to preventing colds as well as the accurate information referring to the medicine Ichthaid and its possible side-effects.

happyhappypigUID: 2342810

The arguer cites the evidence, according to a reported study, that people who live in nearby East Meria with the high consumption of fish see the doctor only once or twice a year to cure colds, to illustrates that eating lots of fish can prevent colds. And since colds are the main reasons for absences from school and work, the arguer recommends the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derives from fish oil as a good measure to prevent colds and reduce absenteeism. The recommendation seems logical at the first sight, but unable to convince us as a rational advice through detailed analysis.感觉restate题目了以后有点长了，可以精简一点会不会好点，个人来说我喜欢简短一点的开头，呵呵，每个人都有自己的风格ha

The major problem of the argument is that the arguer assumes a causal relationship where only correlation has been indicated, that means, the arguer fails to provide any cogent evidence that high consumption of fish may contribute to the few times to visit the doctors. 觉得ts有点长，而且前面半句有点模版的感觉，是不是把后面具体的和前面的和成短一点的句子会好点呢？how about: The major problem of the argument is that the arguer assumes a causal relationship between high finsh consumption and few times of visiting doctors, where only correlation has been indicated. 呵呵，有待斟酌The case may be the climate in EM is worm warm and comfortable without dramatically change, or people in EM 第一次出现的时候后面加个（EM)吧，这样以后再用缩写pay more attention to health which lead to the rare chance to catch cold of catching cold. Besides, 这个词用得有待斟酌，个人觉得不是很合适not every person getting a cold will visit a doctor, in other words, people often call doctor for help in some special condition such as having a high fever, or getting a sever headache and so on while most of them others？will chose to rest at home or take the medicine themselves. Hence visiting a doctor once or twice a year does not means people get a cold only once or twice per year.  Lacking the evidence to rule out the above-mentioned alternatives, the arguer's assumption of the causal relationship is unwarranted.

Even if it can be proved that high consumption can really contribute to keeping away from这个词好像有点多余？（不是很确定的说 ）colds, the arguer still fails to convince us if the mentioned drug-Ichthaid, which extracted from the fish oil, 觉得这里还是restate题目，可以不要，ts就可以再短点has the same function as fish这个也可以不要，好像并不影响意思. First of all, does the fish oil contain the components that can prevent colds? Secondly, does Ichthaid, the nutritional supplement derived from fish oil also extract the functional ingredients from the fish oil? 不知道如果是文句的话要不要加first，second之类的，感觉好像论述的时候用得多一点Without any information to ensure the factor to prevent colds is contained in Ichthaid, we can highly suspect the validity of this medicine. Moreover, we are not aware of any possible side-effect of Ichthaid, which may cause unknown damage to human health. If the demerit of Ichthaid overwhelms its medical effect, we will not dare to take it, let alone making good use of it.

Before I come to my conclusion, it is necessary to point out another flaw that weakens the logic of the argument. 这句好像不是ts，呵呵That is, the arguer states the reason that colds are the reason明白你的意思，当时感觉有点罗嗦 most frequently given for absences from school and work to access to the conclusion that the reduction of colds will also be conducive to lowering absenteeism. 如果这句是ts感觉还是有点长了？而且句式有点太复杂~~~我太笨感觉很晕But no evidence is applied to support this assumption. The arguer fails to tell us the number of people whose absence due to colds and the proportion they account for the whole group of absentees, without which we will suspect whether cold is the main reason for absence. The arguer, however, 前面已经是fail了，为什么这里说no illustration是however？supplies no illustration on whether people absent from school or work really got a cold or used cold as an excuse to escape from duty. In the latter situation, preventing colds is by no means a good advice to reduce absenteeism since people will then fabricate（好词，学习之） another reason for absence.

In conclusion, to make the argument more persuasive, the arguer must be based on感觉这个be based on状态感强一点用做must后面还是动词感觉效果会更好？ more thorough investigation to gather sufficient evidence to narrow down if colds are the reason most frequently given for absence and whether the high consumption of fish can contribute to preventing colds as well as the accurate information referring to the medicine Ichthaid and its possible side-effects.

感觉lz的ts都比较长，我个人觉得ts简短一点比较好，论述的句子倒是可长可短
论证都很好啊，语言也很好，学习学习，呵呵，而且各个段落分布的还很均匀，呵呵学习之
多谢你的修改，呵呵，如果我改的有不对的地方我们再讨论哦，呵呵

yaoqian0424UID: 2323517

ls改得很仔细，提的建议也很中肯，我的TS确实罗嗦了些，应该精简下，第二段合并的句子比我原来的好，关于However，是我的误用，没头没脑的，也不去考虑合不合适，多谢ls指正。