Issue150 [Victors小组]第十一次作业

乳虎UID: 2251211

Issue150"Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."

提纲：
1通过电视和网络欣赏风景使被动的。
2通过电视和网络欣赏风景无法起到锻炼身体的作用。
3经验证据表明在电视和网络日益发达的今天，旅游业不经没有衰退反而蓬勃发展。

The development of television and computer connections make people familiar with a great many places that they have never been to. So the outer claims that tourism will soon become obsolete. In my opinion, television and computer connection will not take the place of tourism but accelerate the development of tourism.

In the first place, admittedly, television and computer connections make it more and more convenient for people to look at interesting places, however, they both have disadvantage in helping people to enjoy physical beauty. Obviously, it is passive for people to look at interesting places via television and computer connections. People can only enjoy it in other's angle. In fact, in diverse angle, the same subject looks different. Besides, people can not determine the speed. It is possible that they would like to pay much time in a place, but the television and computer connection has moved to another one. No matter how advanced television and computer connections are, they can not make people help themselves.

In the second place, physical beauty is not the only purpose of tourism. Sometimes, we pay a visit to some place just in order to change the atmosphere or improve our constitution. For example, hiking the Grand Canyon, scuba-diving around the Great Barrier Reef are good means to do exercise. Inspiring fresh air, bathed by the weave in the sea, our psychological condition will be improved. On the contrary, facing television or computer, we will become sofa potato. Especially nowadays, the too pace of life and too heavy pressure often make people exhausted, so they desire relax via outdoor activities.  So if we want to become more healthy, more open minded, we should choose tourism rather than television or computer connection.

Last but not the least, empirical evidence indicates hat television and computer connection can not make tourism obsolete but promote tourism. Thanks to television and computer connections, which render information disseminate faster and faster. Many places which used to be not famous becomes well known. It is reported that the revenue of tourism in major tourist destination countries increase 8.25% per year in the last 5 years. In this way, television and computer connections dramatically promoted the development of tourism.

To sum up, television fails to provide audiences opportunity to help themselves, meanwhile, people can not improve their physical and psychological health, undoubtedly, they can never take the place of tourism. By contrast, they will inevitably promote the development of tourism by enhancing information dissemination.  

ghost33UID: 2267869

逻辑很清晰，我只能看到几个小小的语法改进的地方。
不过感觉提升的空间还是有很大的。

看了楼主的几篇文章，觉得楼主的模式已经差不多定型了