issue152 【0710G 五一互助小组】7月14日by c0053

c0053UID: 2285120

题目：ISSUE152 - "The only responsibility of corporate executives, provided they stay within the law, is to make as much money as possible for their companies."
字数：450          用时：上午 12:45:00          日期：2007-7-14

限时成功了，但是内容简单了，字数少了，语言差了。欢迎大家狠拍！

Is the only responsibility of the corporate executives to make as much money as possible for their companies, as long as they stay within the law? The speaker claims so. However, in my point of view, I hold that besides the pursue of profit, the enterprises should shoulder some social responsibilities.

Admittedly, the very purpose of founding a company is to earn money. By producing goods or providing services, a company collects money from its customers. Without these profits to maintain the company's usual operations and to improve the productivity or quality of their goods, the company cannot survive. On the contrary, a company with huge income will have ability to develop to an even greater one, and it can provide enough salaries to attract more competent people to work for it. Consider, for example, the Microsoft Company. By selling operating systems and other software, the company has collected a huge amount of money. Using this money, it employs the world's most famous computer scientists to work for it. Its purpose and achievement to gain more profits has helped it to become one of the world's largest companies. In this sense, profit plays a crucial role in a company's survival and development.

However, there are more a company should do rather than making money. As a unit of our society, a company usually has the ability and obligation to shoulder some social responsibilities. For example, a food company should introduce the healthy way of diet. They should provide healthier foods rather than delicious foods. Further, all companies with surplus money should consider donating some to the charity to help the poor get out of poverty or help those who don't have chance to go to school. If these deeds can be conducted by most companies of our society, we will have a more harmonious and favorable world.

Furthermore, not only the social ability shouldered by a company benefits our society, it will also wins a good fame for the company itself thus bring potential economic interests to the company. By providing free milk to some pupils aiming at improve their diet, a diary company in China built a good reputation and thus raised its sales. Moreover, a food company was appreciated by the public by its donation to the disaster area. From this we can conclude that the social ability within a company's ability will benefit not only the society's common good but also the company's development.

In conclusion, in order for a company to survive, it needs to improve its profits by all kinds of measures, but to maintain a company's status and reputation, it will have to shoulder some social burdens and consider more of the society's common good.

lulu花开UID: 2351079

改一下

[ 本帖最后由 lulu花开 于 2007-7-14 14:37 编辑 ]

lulu花开UID: 2351079

Is the only responsibility of the corporate executives to make as much money as possible for their companies, as long as (似乎不是很好)they stay within the law? The speaker claims so. However, in my point of view, I hold(这两个一起,是不是觉得有点啰嗦阿) that besides the pursue of profit, the enterprises should shoulder some social responsibilities.

Admittedly, the very purpose of founding a company is to earn money. By producing goods or providing services, a company collects money from its customers. Without these profits to maintain the company's usual operations and to improve the productivity or quality of their goods, the company cannot survive. On the contrary, a company with huge income will have （the） ability to develop to an even greater one, and it can provide enough salaries to attract more competent people to work for it. Consider, for example, the Microsoft Company. By selling operating systems and other software, the company has collected a huge amount of money. Using this money, it employs the world's most famous computer scientists to work for it. Its purpose and achievement to gain more profits has helped it to become one of the world's largest companies.In this sense, profit plays a crucial role in a company's survival and development.

However, there are more（some other things） a company should do rather than making money. As a unit of our society, a company usually has the ability and obligation to shoulder some social responsibilities. For example, a food company should introduce the healthy way of diet. They should provide healthier foods rather than delicious foods. Further, all companies with surplus money should consider donating some to the charity to help the poor get out of poverty or help those who don't have chance to go to school. If these deeds can be conducted by most companies of our society, we will have a more harmonious and favorable world.

Furthermore, not only the social ability shouldered by a company benefits our society, it will also wins a good fame for the company itself thus bring potential economic interests to the company. By providing free milk to some pupils aiming at improve their diet, a diary company in China built a good reputation and thus raised its sales. Moreover, a food company was appreciated by the public by its donation to the disaster area. (又是food company)From this we can conclude that the social ability within a company's ability will benefit not only the society's common good but also the company's development.（以上两段展开的不是很好，论证既不深入，也不全面。）

In conclusion, in order for a company to survive, it needs to improve its profits by all kinds of measures, but to maintain a company's status and reputation, it will have to shoulder some social burdens and consider more of the society's common good.

感觉有点泛泛而谈的意思，这也可能是字数过少的主要原因吧。对一个点，常常要深入探讨，起码可以看出一点你和别人不同的地方，或者比别人更加深入和全面，才能得到高分。
另外 ，对于语言我要说一句，虽然这篇的语言比你以前写得要简单，但是看上去真的舒服多了，用自己熟悉的表达，而不要用你拿不准，或者中国式的表达。只要意思表达得好，我相信比那些复杂或者说晦涩的文章更加容易得到称赞，你说呢？