argument143 [0710G +U Aug小组]第3次作业

cofeebeanUID: 2289548

In the argument, the arguer shows his disagreement with an article in newspaper about workers downsized. In order to support his argument he only cites the result of a recent report. As it stands, the argument suffers from so many critical flaws as the following.

The whole argument relies on a report which is lack of related information thus seems rather vague. The only thing we can know is it’s on American economy. But, who conducts the report? Do conductors have some inclines on their view of politic and economy and do they grasp enough professional skills to organize a research? The attitude, inclines, quality of the conductors have a great effect on our trust in the report. The other question about it is how the report conducted. As we all know, does the method used in the report obey the statically theorier, and does data about employees and companies depend on scientifical survey? While we don’t know who conducts it, where its data come from and how it is operated，we can’t assure the validity of the report.

Granted that the arguer provided enough evidence on aspects above, we can’t throw away the claim in article of newspaper that it is often for competent workers downsized have economic problems before they get suitable places somewhere. emerging jobs have been more than disappearing ones nearly more than ten years, however, we need to analyze what field emerging and disappearing jobs are in. because of the unbalanced but sometimes maybe reasonable development of society, the situation in different business field varies greatly. in some fields there are many jobs offer such as computer industry while in some traditional fields as printing industry machines take place of many competent workers.

The arguer cites the report that many workers have found new employments. How much time have they spent on preparing and looking for a new job？Are these new jobs suitable for them or just jobs they don’t have to do just because of money? It is evident that they mingt have economic troubles before getting a job, but after working again can they really get out of the trouble? These questions haven’t been examined by the arguer. Furthermore, answers to questions above depend on a reliable survey on workers.  

Another evidence the arguer cited from the report is most new jobs emerge in industries that tend to pay high wages. I have some uncertain on the expression because industries that tend to pay high wages don’t mean that new emerging jobs are paid above average. Granted it , we don’t know whether these jobs are open to all employees downsized. It is very likely for corporations to qualify graduating students to apply for those jobs. Perhaps companies restrict the employees’ age so that in fact many workers still can’t get those jobs.

To sum up, the argument is neither well-reasoned in contradicting the newspaper article nor sound in supporting that downsizing is reasonable for companies. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer should provide more information about the report cited, more details of workers getting a new job, and more evidence about industries really offering jobs to workers downsized.

wm23UID: 2245087

In the argument, the arguer shows his disagreement with an article in newspaper about workers downsized. In order to support his argument he only cites the result of a recent report. As it stands, the argument suffers from so many critical flaws as the following.

The whole argument relies on a report which is lack of related information thus seems rather vague. The only thing we can know is it’s on American economy. But, who conducts the report? Do conductors have some inclines on their view of politic and economy and do they grasp(感觉这里用possess好点) enough professional skills to organize a research? The attitude, inclines, quality of the conductors have a great effect on our trust in the report. The other question about it is how the report conducted. As we all know, does the method used in the report obey the statically theorier, and does data about employees and companies depend on scientifical survey? While we don’t know who conducts it, where its data come from and how it is operated，we can’t assure the validity of the report.

Granted that the arguer provided enough evidence on aspects above, we can’t throw away the claim in article of newspaper that it is often for competent workers downsized have economic problems before they get suitable places somewhere. emerging jobs have been more than disappearing ones nearly more than ten years, however, we need to analyze what field emerging and disappearing jobs are in.（这句不好理解，在前面加上The author cites that好点） because（Because） of the unbalanced but sometimes maybe reasonable development of society, the situation in different business field varies greatly. in some fields there are many jobs offer such as computer industry while in some traditional fields as printing industry machines take place of many competent workers.（这段感觉是在解释article中为什么会有很多有能力的工人被解雇，对于题目作者的错误批判几乎没有。）

The arguer cites the report that many workers have found new employments. How much time have they spent on preparing and looking for a new job？Are these new jobs suitable for them or just jobs they don’t have to do just because of money? （两个just，重复。连词or前后不一致，不能在后面再跟从句。）It is evident that they minght have economic troubles before getting a job, but after working again can they really get out of the trouble? These questions haven’t been examined by the arguer. Furthermore, answers to questions above depend on a reliable survey on workers.  

Another evidence the arguer cited from the report is most new jobs emerge in industries that tend to pay high wages. I have some uncertain on the expression because industries that tend to pay high wages don’t mean that new emerging jobs are paid above average. Granted it , we don’t know whether these jobs are open to all employees downsized. It is very likely for corporations to qualify graduating students to apply for those jobs. Perhaps companies restrict the employees’ age so that in fact many workers still can’t get those jobs.（本段可以和上一段合成一段，写成一个点，即：作者只说明了当前创造了很多新的工作机会，但作者并没有说明这些工作机会的工作环境，报酬，要求以及领域是否能够满足和对应失业工人的对工作需求，以及起到改善失业工人的生活状况的作用）

To sum up, the argument is neither well-reasoned in contradicting the newspaper article nor sound in supporting that downsizing is reasonable for companies. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer should provide more information about the report cited, more details of workers getting a new job, and more evidence about industries really offering jobs to workers downsized.

总体感觉找出了错误点,但反驳的力度和针对性不够,有种解释的感觉,第二段尤其明显.
题目中还有一个明显的错误就是作者认为article说失业者在找到工作前的生活很艰苦这个说法是mistaken impression，而其反驳的理由是有很多的新工作，以及很多失业者都找到了工作等等，但这些和正处于失业状况中的工人来说是没任何意义的，他们生活仍然艰苦，所以作者这样推论是不成立的。
另外，作者说很多工人找到新的工作，这个many很模糊，到底是多少？占总失业工人数量的百分之几？作者没有说明。

cofeebeanUID: 2289548

In this analysis, the arguer attempt to convi[n]ce us that the conclusion in a recent article of a national newspaper on corporate downsizing in the United State is misleading. To substantiate this claim, the author cites the points of a recent report on the United States economy, that the jobs created are far more than that have been eliminated, two-thirds of the newly created jobs are of above-average wages and most of them are full-time and many of those who suffer the downsizing fate have found new employment. While several important concerns has some merits, some conspicuous flaws seriously undermine the line of reasoning.

First of all, the arguer cites the point from a recent report which found that the number of jobs which have been created are far bigger[中文习惯说大小，英文还是more更好吧] than that[of jobs which这样是不是更好] have been diminished. Lacking of the specific information on the extend of number of created jobs beyond that of eliminated jobs, it is impossible to access to the reliability of the result of the report's result or make an informed recommendation.[这句问题较大，make an informed 这部分和哪里并列，result 还是reliability, 另外the result of the report's result？什么意思的表达啊] We can imagine that if this extend is far beneath our hope, it is impossible for the downsized workers to started their new jobs quickly. Moreover, although we admit the fact that the extend[是不是extent] is far beyond our imagination[个人感觉不如写具体点的好], the new vacant positions may not satisfied of the need of [中文说满足某某的需要，英文可以直接satisfy sb]downsized staff. The reason for this is that the argument ignores the factors -- such as the suitability between the vacant position and the technique of the downsized worker, the distance between the working place and that of[that代place吗，和residence重复] workers' residence and the satisfaction on the salary of the new position -- that are the more decisive factors in resolving this problem. Supposing that the downsized workers are unsatisfying with the salary, the working environment and the extend for individual development, how can they get their new jobs in a short time?

Additionally, the saying of the report about two-thirds of the newly created jobs are full-time and can pay above-average wages does not support that the conclusion in [为区分清楚，加个newspaper更好] article on corporate downsizing in the United States is somewhat misleading. It is conspicuous for us to deduce that the other one-third of the newly created jobs are neither high-waged nor full-time. Some of the downsizing[downsized] employer are excellent worker who obtain loyalty to his career. [从句是什么意思？]Therefore, his bad destine[这个词是不是有点大] only attribute to the society and the whole career environment. [可以前面一直说they,后面有转为he?] Obviously, he can not tolerate the lifestyle of[中式英文，有点累赘，直接用tolerate low wages如何] low wages or part-time job and the only result [for them] is to face the serious economic hardship and living pressure, maybe for years, untill he finally get a satisfying job of suitable employment, comfortable environment and satisfying[为避免重复建议换个词] salary. The situation narrated by the article in the national newspaper is , in some sense, reasonable and this evidence author provides is groundless.

Last but not least, the arguer fails to take into account several other factors that might weaken the reasoning in this argument. The report demonstrates that many of those who lost their jobs have found new employment. The account above is obscure. The number of people who have refound[refind我不记得英语中有这个词，虽然能猜到它的意思] their job are unreported and it might be much lower than we supposed. The similar flaw exits in the assumption[这个题目中有提到吗] that “vast majority ” – which is another obscure [expression in] statistic--of the newly created jobs may meet the [n]end of the large amount of downsizing staff. All the flaws analyzed fail to illustrate that the editor’s opinion on downsizing is misleading.

As it stands, the argument is not well reasoned. Unless the author can demonstrate clearly that suitable employment, comfortable environment and satisfying salary are offered in the newly created jobs, the author’s concern about this issue is unfounded.
[1、建议不是很有把握的长句少用，你的长句已经够多，无需可以追求长句。
2、far beyond our imagination及类似的用法，指代模糊。不如用具体的专业词汇表达。
3、body1抽丝剥茧，论证严密。Body2避重就轻，力度不够。body3有些空洞，建议举例充实一下。
4、有个问题我不知道怎么解决，就是题目中的最后一句，作者认为公司裁员是审慎的，你的做法是直接忽略它，妥当吗？]

cofeebeanUID: 2289548

Sata143
In this analysis, the arguer attempts to convince us that the conclusion in a recent article of a national newspaper on corporate downsizing in the United State is misleading. To substantiate this claim, the author cites the points of a recent report on the United States economy, that the jobs created are far more than that have been eliminated, two-thirds of the newly created jobs are of above-average wages and most of them are full-time and many of those who suffer the downsizing fate have found new employments. While several important concerns has some merits, some conspicuous flaws seriously undermine the line of reasoning.
First of all, the arguer cites the point from a recent report which found that the number of jobs which have been created are far bigger中文习惯说大小，英文还是more更好吧 than thatof jobs which这样是不是更好 have been diminished. Lacking of the specific information on the extend of number of created jobs beyond that of eliminated jobs, it is impossible to access to the reliability of the result of the report's result or make an informed recommendation.这句问题较大，make an informed 这部分和哪里并列，result 还是reliability, 另外the result of the report's result？什么意思的表达啊 We can imagine that if this extend is far beneath our hope, it is impossible for the downsized workers to started their new jobs quickly. Moreover, although we admit the fact that the extend是不是extent is far beyond our imagination个人感觉不如写具体点的好, the new vacant positions may not satisfied of the need of 中文说满足某某的需要，英文可以直接satisfy sbdownsized staff. The reason for this is that the argument ignores the factors -- such as the suitability between the vacant position and the technique of the downsized worker, the distance between the working place and that ofthat代place吗，和residence重复 workers' residence and the satisfaction on the salary of the new position -- that are the more decisive factors in resolving this problem. Supposing that the downsized workers are unsatisfying with the salary, the working environment and the extend for individual development, how can they get their new jobs in a short time?
Additionally, the saying of the report about two-thirds of the newly created jobs are full-time and can pay above-average wages does not support that the conclusion in 为区分清楚，加个newspaper更好 article on corporate downsizing in the United States is somewhat misleading. It is conspicuous for us to deduce that the other one-third of the newly created jobs are neither high-waged nor full-time. Some of the downsizingdownsized employers are excellent workers who obtain loyalty to his career. 从句是什么意思？Therefore, his bad destine这个词是不是有点大 only attribute to the society and the whole career environment. 可以前面一直说they,后面有转为he? Obviously, he can not tolerate the lifestyle of中式英文，有点累赘，直接用tolerate low wages如何 low wages or part-time job and the only result for them is to face the serious economic hardship and living pressure, maybe for years, untill he finally get a satisfying job of suitable employment, comfortable environment and satisfying为避免重复建议换个词 salary. The situation narrated by the article in the national newspaper is , in some sense, reasonable and this evidence author provides is groundless.
Last but not least, the arguer fails to take into account several other factors that might weaken the reasoning in this argument. The report demonstrates that many of those who lost their jobs have found new employment. The account above is obscure. The number of people who have refoundrefind我不记得英语中有这个词，虽然能猜到它的意思 their job are unreported and it might be much lower than we supposed. The similar flaw exits in the assumption这个题目中有提到吗 that “vast majority ” – which is another obscure expression in statistics--of the newly created jobs may meet the nend of the large amount of downsizing staff. All the flaws analyzed fail to illustrate that the editor’s opinion on downsizing is misleading.
As it stands, the argument is not well reasoned. Unless the author can demonstrate clearly that suitable employment, comfortable environment and satisfying salary are offered in the newly created jobs, the author’s concern about this issue is unfounded.
1、建议不是很有把握的长句少用，你的长句已经够多，无需可以追求长句。
2、far beyond our imagination及类似的用法，指代模糊。不如用具体的专业词汇表达。
3、body1抽丝剥茧，论证严密。Body2避重就轻，力度不够。body3有些空洞，建议举例充实一下。
4、有个问题我不知道怎么解决，就是题目中的最后一句，作者认为公司裁员是审慎的，你的做法是直接忽略它，妥当吗？