九月IBT-第十一次作业 AIRBOTS 关于痛苦经历是否有价值

airbotsUID: 2225434

Life is a process made up by many random experiences. Hence, difficult experiences are indispensable part of life. Some people think those hard experiences are not valuable, because they recall their miserable past. However, in my opinion, hard experiences are treasures of our lives, not only for cultivating a optimistic attitude to life, but for helping us avoid to fall into the same trap.

First and foremost, difficult experiences are obligatory lessons to a successful person. They could help people to understand the aim of life, shape their virtues, and value what they have around them. A good example will shed some light on this point. Mandela, a famous leader of South Africa and a fighter for black people's right, has always said when he was in prison; he realized the black people's situation and this experience enhanced his determination to fight for his people. Another fitting example is the former president of American-Roosevelt who led American people won the victory of WWII finally. He was born in a wealthy family. Near his 40 birthday, he had got a kind of disease which led to his paralysis. After that he had realized his aim of life, and cleared up his foppish stuff. We can not imagine if Roosevelt had not found his life target what the world would be.

Secondly, sometimes hard experiences are total caused by our mistake. The best teacher may not admonish us anytime, but difficult experiences can play this important role to warn us not to make same mistake twice. It looks like natural reactive not only for human being, but even for animals. For example, one monkey is put in a room. When it comes to the door, it will be punished. Several times later, it will never come to the door. When it comes to human, if a worker who is in charge of railway switch, nevertheless, he forget to turn it into right side one day. At the same time his relatives are in the train destroyed by the accident that caused by his omit. This lesson will let him remember all his life.

All in all, only through hard experiences, can we cherish what we have, and show mercy to those who still stay in the situation we have experienced hardly, and only through facing the hard experiences, can we start to examine ourselves, and try to prevent those things from occurring again. That is why I hold the viewpoint in this argument that difficult experiences are valuable in the future.

[ 本帖最后由 airbots 于 2007-7-29 12:26 编辑 ]

optoAzUID: 2313070

本想路过替lz改一下作文的，后来实在发现lz的文章，俺这种水平没什么可以改的了。。
开头不落俗套挺有深度，中间段落不管是衔接还是用词都很舒服。

几个小点说一下：
第一个理由段给出的观点太大了。困境造就一个成功的人，其实已经一定程度的包含了第二段的困境使我们不犯同样的错误。如果可以适当缩小第一段的主题范围，似乎能显得更有针对性一点。
第二段举了动物做例子。可是回头看了一下题目，给出的是our live,这里感觉用动物来讲，不是十分妥当。
总阶段第一句提到珍惜和怜悯，这一条在上面三段中都没有出现过，也没有承上启下的意思，感觉放在总结段落里面不太合适，好像绕了一圈才绕回来一样。

其他几个方面lz都写的相当好。俺写的时候感觉这片文章有点难，怎么样既有深度又不流于肤浅的理论说明似乎是个难点。可是lz的例子，尤其是第一个理由段的例子和文章整体配合的很好。顺便问下，lz似乎很喜欢举WWII的例子啊，上次有片我们互改的作文，就记得lz涉及到了相关方面。感觉lz知识面挺广的，能在作文里面把自己所了解的东西运用进去。此外还很喜欢lz的段落结构，明确的主题句，一两句展开，后面自然而然的衔接例子。段间小词也用的相当好，有当范文的潜质。。


顺手把俺这篇也丢个链接过来，lz方便的话帮我看下吧。。
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-711617-1-1.html
估计是我这篇在出差时候写的，键盘不熟也没拼写检查，拼写错误特多
所以帮我改的MM只看了看拼写的问题
lz方便的话帮俺看看逻辑布局之类之类的问题吧。
总觉得这种妄图和大多数人不一样的写法写的有点辛苦。。
嗯，继续吼，一起加油

optoAzUID: 2313070

口语俺暂时不看了。背井离乡的出差在外，用的机器刚好没发声装置。。。