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[i习作temp] Issue83 【07-10G Superstar大帖】8月3日作文 [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-8-3 16:30:01 |显示全部楼层

TOPIC: ISSUE83 - "Government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people."

WORDS: 700     限时失败,45分钟才写完第三段。然后又发现写多了…………看看思路吧,看看我哪又太罗嗦了都。

突然发现好多单词到了电脑上全拼错!!比如那个government!

The speaker contends that the publicly owned wilderness areas should be preserved in natural state even if they are remote and only accessible to only a few people. In my observation and experience as a college student, I strongly agree with the speaker's contention since there have many precious animals and plants which are benefic to our human being in wilderness.

Firstly, it is the animals living in wilderness that keep ecological balance with other living creatures and can serve as resources for biological research.  Yet, because of the incorrect and over capturing-action, many precious animals-- such as Tibet antelope, giant panda and wild horse, are facing the fate that decreasing rapidly and then being extinct. As one leading professor in the field of biology and environment once predicted(and I paragraph): An average of 100 species disappear from our planet each single day. This illustrates the quo that many animals are in very dangerous state which call for an immediately action to protect them. If we couldn't preserve the wilderness areas as in their natural state for those precious animals, their quick decrease and rapid extinction not only  result in that our later generation would not have chance to see those special species  but also cause the ecological unbalance in our living creature world. So, it is our task that keeping those wilderness areas in natural state in order to keep precious animals alive and give good entironment to all living creature.

Secondly, if we don't take actions to  protect the wilderness areas, many green plants dwelling in those areas would be cut down or over-exploited by human being and  as a result, ecological balance such as gradual sand pollution and continuous global warming come down. Take the situation of Beijing for example, because of over deforestation and no effective measures being taken into for protecting, many wilderness in north of Beijing has been destructed and then became barren, in which green plants are instead by plentiful of yellow sand.  Not only the environment of wilderness were influenced, but it also brings huge sand storm into Beijing city if only the wind direction is from north to south. Moreover, because  a large amount of green trees disappeared, many CO2 which is a decisive gas that caused global warming would be taken up by green plants and continuously exist and as a result, the enormous pieces of ice in arctic pole will melt quickly and result in the rising of sea water which would threaten humans' living area.  Meanwhile, the oxygen which are necessary for living creature to survive will decrease accompanied with the decreasing numbers of green plants. In order to keep our life in a good ecological-balance environment , we should protect the wilderness to give those green plants a living condition.

Then we turn to the measures for protecting wilderness areas, it is no doubt that government should be responsible for the great task because these problems can hardly be handled through the weal capability of individuals and other communities. Many resources not only plentiful of money and men-power could be got together but also many other methods such as laws and criterions could be adopted by the government and then will prevent people from destructing the plants and preying on the animals which would contribute much advantages  to the protection of wilderness areas. At the same time, many other methods such as mass media and international cooperation could be adopted by governments. Through the mass media, government workers could call for many people all over the nation to take action into protecting the wilderness areas and then more and more people would self-consciously participate in the rank to give own power for preserving no matter only an animal or one small plant. With the international cooperation, one government could achieve experience from other countries which successfully protect the environment of wilderness areas.

In sum, we should  immediately take action to preserve the wilderness areas in order to protect the precious animals and plants alive and then keep the whole ecological environment balance.  At that case, it is the inherent obligation of government to take effective measures and establish relative law system in order to achieve the success.

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发表于 2007-8-3 21:58:48 |显示全部楼层
The speaker contends that the publicly owned wilderness areas should be preserved in natural state even if they are remote and only accessible to only a few people. In my observation and experience as a college student, I strongly agree with the speaker's contention since there have many precious animals and plants which are benefic to our human being in wilderness.

Firstly, it is the animals living in wilderness that keep ecological balance with other living creatures and can serve as resources for biological research.  Yet, because of the incorrect and over capturing-action, many precious animals-- such as Tibet antelope, giant panda and wild horse, are facing the fate thatof decreasing rapidly and then being extinct. As one leading professor in the field of biology and environment once predicted(and I paragraph): An average of 100 species disappear from our planet each single day.这个不用说引用 This illustrates the quo that many animals are in very dangerous state which call for an immediately action to protect them. If we couldn't preserve the wilderness areas as in their natural state for those precious animals, their quick decrease and rapid extinction not only  result in that our later generation would not have chance to see those special species  but also cause the ecological unbalance in our living creature world. So, it is our task that keeping those wilderness areas in natural state in order to keep precious animals alive and give good entironment to all living creature.这段没说清楚啊,前面在说动物灭绝,可不说明是什么原因,后面突然来一句要保持自然环境的原始状态,没有联系起来啊

Secondly, if we don't take actions to  protect the wilderness areas, many green plants dwelling in those areas would be cut down or over-exploited by human being and  as a result, ecological balance such as gradual sand pollution and continuous global warming come down. Take the situation of Beijing for example, because of over deforestation and no effective measures being taken into for protecting, many wilderness in north of Beijing has been destructed and then became barren, in which green plants are instead by plentiful of yellow sand.  Not only the environment of wilderness were influenced, but it also brings huge sand storm into Beijing city if only the wind direction is from north to south. Moreover, because  a large amount of green trees disappeared, many CO2 which is a decisive gas that caused global warming would be taken up by green plants and continuously exist and as a result, the enormous pieces of ice in arctic pole will melt quickly and result in the rising of sea water which would threaten humans' living area.  Meanwhile, the oxygen which are necessary for living creature to survive will decrease accompanied with the decreasing numbers of green plants. In order to keep our life in a good ecological-balance environment , we should protect the wilderness to give those green plants a living condition. 叙述有点啰嗦了

Then we turn to the measures for protecting wilderness areas, it is no doubt that government should be responsible for the great task because these problems can hardly be handled through the weal capability of individuals and other communities. Many resources not only plentiful of money and men-power could be got together but also many other methods such as laws and criterions could be adopted by the government and then will prevent people from destructing the plants and preying on这个好像多指动物捕食,hunt for the animals which would contribute much advantages  to the protection of wilderness areas. At the same time, many other methods such as mass media and international cooperation could be adopted by governments. Through the mass media, government workers could call for many people all over the nation to take action into protecting the wilderness areas and then more and more people would self-consciously participate in the rank to give own power for preserving no matter only an animal or one small plant. With the international cooperation, one government could achieve experience from other countries which successfully protect the environment of wilderness areas.

In sum, we should  immediately take action to preserve the wilderness areas in order to protect the precious animals and plants alive and then keep the whole ecological environment balance.  At that case, it is the inherent obligation of government to take effective measures and establish relative law system in order to achieve the success.

思路很难修改,先说说题目本身吧

我理解的题目应该在讨论natural state上面,还要注意两个词 wildness和 even though,也就是说要讨论这些地方是开发,还是保留原样,或者是采取措施保护。
这篇文章的根本不是关于环保的,环保只是一小部分。比如说,城市周边的荒地如何处置?市里的怎么办?野外的,还有更远的怎么办?
这是我的观点,和你的大不相同,如果觉得有道理就做个参考吧

语法上面除了几个词以外问题不大。不过还是有啰嗦的问题,这也是为什么字数总是多。其实很多例子只要带过就行了,比如co2,阅卷的人都是大学讲师之类的人,这方面了解的比我们都多,何必班门弄斧呢?

这篇可不是你真是的水平,好好加油,拿出大作出来

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RE: Issue83 【07-10G Superstar大帖】8月3日作文 [修改]

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