ISSUE130 【0710G-小猪快跑小组】第5次作业 By Shalonbas

shalonbasUID: 2184474

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children aresocialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have notyet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a bettersociety."
WORDS: 600          TIME: 00:50:00          DATE: 2007-8-4 22:27:49

As a science technology advances rapidly in  nowadays, it turns out that the harmony and happiness are not proportional to the development of technology, as many of us expected. In fact, facing more and more wars and tragedies that happen all over the world, people are eventually getting to realize that it is the individuals involved that determine the direction and pace of that society. Therefore, children, who will make the majority and act as leaders of the future society, are no doubtedly the crux of the destiny of society, and hence need to be well educated and raised so as to be qualified for a better society.

It is the members of the society, instead of the specific technology, that determine the destiny of that society. There is no denying that technology has played a very important role in the evolutionof a society, but it is no more significant than a tool used by the people, who decide whether or how to utilize it. Therefore, society members are the dominant factor in the evolution. They are the driver of the car, and hence are responsible to make sure everything is on the right track. In this case, only the performance of that car can be determined by technology, which makes no effect on the final destination of that car. Consequently, in order to ensure that the society is heading in the right direction, drivers, in other words,the members should be well qualified.

Since children are the future of a society, it is never too early for them to be educated so as to lead the society well after they become grown ups. Admittedly, people would say that the children are too young to affect the evolution of the society in that particular period. However, we can not afford to teach a person to drive right before he is goingto cover a long distance journey by himself. Additionally, as for the children, it is the social related abilities, such as the morality and value system,rather than the intellectual ability, the capability to learn and applyparticular scientific knowledge, that makes them qualified to be the driver.And it will definitely take a long period of time for these children to learn and form well social abilities. Therefore, there is no doubt that children ought to be taught well about those social abilities in no time.

There are plenty of methods that can prepare them well to be future leaders several years later. The importance of school education is manifest, because with the standard and well structuredcurriculum, students can be systematically taught the right and wrong, good and evil. And one more merit of school education is that it can provide a unique environment where children would have better motivation to behave well due to the peer pressure when among their fellow classmates. Therefore, schools should lay emphasis on the social ability teaching of children, without weakening the intellectual part, though. Aside from the schools and teachers, parents play an equally important role in the formation of good social ability of their children. Being with their children almost every day, they are good models from whom children sense and learn how to behave themselves, how to get along withother people, or handle problems. In other words, parents are 24 hour teachers for their children, especially from the perspective of social ability.

In sum, there is no doubt that children should be well educated so as to ensure a better society, and this is not only dependent on the contribution of school but also on their parents.



这个题目不是我喜欢写的类型，能在50分钟写到600字，我目前已经很庆幸了。不得不说的是，需要感谢星夜无夏的帖子《领悟自由之美-我用满分告诉你写作的"真相"》
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-684567-1-1.html，不管该法本身多有争议，但文中的思想确实鼓励我抛弃了许多套路的禁锢，开拓了思路。对我而言，是种进步，恩。

[ 本帖最后由 shalonbas 于 2007-8-5 02:09 编辑 ]

星夜无夏UID: 2333978

TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 600          TIME: 00:50:00          DATE: 2007-8-4 22:27:49

(Very good job, no big grammar mistakes in my office2003, keep going!)

For the beginning, let me tell you what the “children socialization” in my opinion is. I think it would be the key to structure and understand deeply for this issue.

I consider that to say what the socialization of children is can be identified to “how the children deal with this society”. So at the first, I tend to seek the content on what the tasks which children need to cope with? That is to say, when the child who had been a role in this society, it has some more works had to solve without merely studying in our academic courses. That is also mean, the youngsters, also have responsibilities for the society which they are living in. The role of them is no longer as a baby who won’t have any substantial relationships with this world at the beginning and also it won’t lead any impact to us.

So the final problem in this issue we need to discuss is about: the responsibility and impact of children in our society.

I think getting here, you would know the following which we need to pursue. I provide you several questions which you can refer to them to allow for further aspects of it. They are including: Why we require the children to be more socialized? How the children can attain this by their own features? And in this process who make them to attain it? Those people are consisted by which kinds of people? Except the parents, are there any other people during that team? And what the definite functions on them are? At the last one, how their works for the children were? Are those available or not?

I think from those above questions you can develop your observations and suggestions about how we make this society to be better. I hope it would be helpful for you.

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As a science technology advances rapidly in  nowadays(“nowadays” is a adv. You can cut the “in” out), it turns out that the harmony and happiness are not proportional to the development of technology, as many of us expected. In fact, facing more and more wars and tragedies that happen all over the world, people are eventually getting to realize that it is the individuals involved that determine the direction and pace of that society. Therefore, children, who will make the majority and act as leaders of the future society, are no doubtfully the crux of the destiny of society, and hence need to be well educated and raised so as to be qualified for a better society. ( I fully agree with your viewpoint in this para.)

It is the members of the society, instead of the specific technology, that determine the destiny of that society. (Good point) There is no denying that technology has played a very important role in the evolution of a society, but it is no more significant than a tool used by the people, who decide whether or how to utilize it.(This sentence appeared a little bit surplus adding in there though the meaning is quite fitted. I guess you would better directly detail your point in here.)

Therefore, society members are the dominant factor in the evolution. They are the driver of the car, and hence are responsible to make sure everything is on the right track. In this case, only the performance of that car can be determined by technology, which makes no effect on the final destination of that car. Consequently, in order to ensure that the society is heading in the right direction, drivers, in other words, the members should be well qualified.

Since children are the future of a society, it is never too early for them to be educated so as to lead the society well after they become grown ups. Admittedly, people would say that the children are too young to affect the evolution of the society in that particular period. However, we can not afford to teach a person to drive right before he is going to cover a long distance journey by himself. Additionally, as for the children, it is the social related abilities, such as the morality and value system, rather than the intellectual ability, the capability to learn and apply particular scientific knowledge, that makes them qualified to be the driver. And it will definitely take a long period of time for these children to learn and form well social abilities. Therefore, there is no doubt that children ought to be taught well about those social abilities in no time. (Very logically for the foregoing, but you can classify several sorts of how the children impact or relate with this society. )

There are plenty of methods that can prepare them well to be future leaders several years later. The importance of school education is manifest, because with the standard and well structured curriculum, students can be systematically taught the right and wrong, good and evil. And one more merit of school education is that it can provide a unique environment where children would have better motivation to behave well due to the peer pressure when among their fellow classmates. Therefore, schools should lay emphasis on the social ability teaching of children, without weakening the intellectual part, though. Aside from the schools and teachers, parents play an equally important role in the formation of good social ability of their children. Being with their children almost every day, they are good models from whom children sense and learn how to behave themselves, how to get along withother people, or handle problems. In other words, parents are 24 hour teachers for their children, especially from the perspective of social ability. ( Yes, but I will say if you had have written more about which methods are proper or available after this para, the whole article will be more convincing. However, you were short of the time to achieve it. You need to consider a better way at the beginning that which structure can be both logically and completely in 45minutes? So I suggest you try to train this skill in future.)

In sum, there is no doubt that children should be well educated so as to ensure a better society, and this is not only dependent on the contribution of school but also on their parents.

Good luck, I am hear from your further compositions!



[ 本帖最后由 星夜无夏 于 2007-8-5 05:27 编辑 ]