argument117 欢迎拍砖。留链回拍

ghost33UID: 2267869

TOPIC: ARGUMENT117 - The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.

"Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores."
WORDS: 619          TIME: 0:43:50          DATE: 2007-8-5

Before increasing stock of home office machines and office supplies in the store, the manager needs examine the reported study carefully and also investigate the market first. Since his/her current argument is not as sound as it seems.

To begin with, the manager based his recommendation on a study, while the credibility of the study is dubious due to lack of detailed information. First, the manager only cited a number-over 70 percent of the respondents, which has no exact meaning without the total number of the respondents. Supposed that there are only a small number of people who answer the study, say 50, then the result does not reflect the common situation. In addition, how many people are invited to the study is unknown, either. Given that about 300 people are asked to take part in the survey, only 70 people answered, then it is quite possible that those who have more work to do are likely to respond the survey. However, if so, the result does not reflect the truth. What's more, the word 'more' is too ambiguous to be informative. Thus, the manager should bring more details about the survey before quoting it.

Second, even the study itself is dependable, the manager hastily decided to increase stocks in all stores. The manager didn't point out where this study was conducted, whether in the city with Valu-Mart Store(VMS)? If the study was in another country where VMS has no store, this study lends no support that the same is true to the local situation. Or that if this study only took place in one company or a small district, then the manager should not generalize the result to a larger district without further examination. Given that the study was done in big cities, while most of VMS stores are in small town and countryside, then whether VMS should increase stocks in all stores needs further debate.

Moreover, even people in places with VMS do have to bring more work home, to expect benefiting from this phenomenon with increasing the stock of home office machines and office supplies is premature. For one thing, the manager didn't explain that why VMS didn't see impressive sales in its office-supply market. He simply took granted that it was because there were lack of customers. However, while this might be true, it is equally possible that the failure in this market was due to the bad quality of those machines or high prices. If either the latter reasons is true, VMS may still sell bad in this market. For another, the manager didn't show that work that people bring to home needs such home-office machines. There is a good chance that people only bring home with some work which could be down on computer, or that they may save a lot of money to print or copy in shops with printers and copy machines. If these are true, the manager's argument is seriously undermined. For another, the conclusion that the office-supply departments will be the most profitable component of the store is gratuitous. There is no guarantee that VMS will be the only store selling these equipments. Given that there are many stores in this market and the harsh competition has reduced the price to the lowest point, then sales on these machines brings no significant profit. In addition, with no information about the situation of other components, such assumption is not convincing. It is quite possible that other components, with little competition, may bring more profit. Thus, the manager should examine the market thoroughly before making this decision.

In sum, this argument is not well substantiated. To bolster it, the manager needs to provide more information about the study and the market.   

菲子UID: 2311527

TOPIC: ARGUMENT117 - The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.

"Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores."
WORDS: 619          TIME: 0:43:50          DATE: 2007-8-5

Before increasing stock of home office machines and office supplies in the store, the manager needs examine the reported study carefully and also investigate the market first.（这个开头感觉挺泛的，没有直接指出最主要的漏洞来） Since his/her current argument is not as sound as it seems.

To begin with, the manager based his recommendation on a study, while the credibility of the study is dubious due to lack of detailed information. First, the manager only cited a number-over 70 percent of the respondents, which has no exact meaning without the total number of the respondents. Supposed that there are only a small number of people who answer the study, say 50, then the result does not reflect the common situation. In addition, how many people are invited to the study is unknown, either. Given that about 300 people are asked to take part in the survey, only 70 people answered, then it is quite possible that those who have more work to do are likely to respond the survey. However, if so, the result does not reflect the truth. What's more, the word 'more' is too ambiguous to be informative. Thus, the manager should bring more details about the survey before quoting it.（这一段组织得挺好的哈）

Second, even the study itself is dependable, the manager hastily decided to increase stocks in all stores. The manager didn't point out where this study was conducted, whether in the city with Valu-Mart Store(VMS)?（这个点我倒没有想到） If the study was in another country where VMS has no store, this study lends no support that the same is true to the local situation. Or that if this study only took place in one company or a small district, then the manager should not generalize the result to a larger district without further examination. Given that the study was done in big cities, while most of VMS stores are in small town and countryside, then whether VMS should increase stocks in all stores needs further debate.

Moreover, even people in places with VMS do have to bring more work home, to expect benefiting from this phenomenon with increasing the stock of home office machines and office supplies is premature. For one thing, the manager didn't explain that why VMS didn't see impressive sales in its office-supply market. He simply took granted that it was because there were lack of customers. However, while this might be true, it is equally possible that the failure in this market was due to the bad quality of those machines or high prices. If either the latter reasons is true, VMS may still sell bad in this market. For another, the manager didn't show that work that people bring to home needs such home-office machines. There is a good chance that people only bring home with some work which could be down on computer, or that they may save a lot of money to print or copy in shops with printers and copy machines. If these are true, the manager's argument is seriously undermined.

For another, the conclusion that the office-supply departments will be the most profitable component of the store is gratuitous. There is no guarantee that VMS will be the only store selling these equipments. Given that there are many stores in this market and the harsh competition has reduced the price to the lowest point, then sales on these machines brings no significant profit. In addition, with no information about the situation of other components（这个用法不知道行不行啊？好像不太明确，你就用department不就好了？）, such assumption is not convincing. It is quite possible that other components, with little competition, may bring more profit. Thus, the manager should examine the market thoroughly before making this decision.

In sum, this argument is not well substantiated. To bolster it, the manager needs to provide more information about the study and the market.   

总体来说，没什么问题了，Argument大有长进啊，不像我，还在挣扎。。。555！