Issue51 [戮力同心小组] 10号

jiangzuodongUID: 2371192

写的有问题， 只当练习， 最后觉得这个题目的提纲为：
1. 满足兴趣的教育并不一定有效， 如果兴趣对孩子的未来没有用处
2. 基础知识教育（道德标准和基本学习技能）虽然没有满足学生兴趣，但确是所有教育方法的根本。
3. 兴趣教育和基础教育应该结合在一起，这样的交易才有效。

After reading this issue, I agree with the speaker insofar as when education is designed to meet individual needs,education will be effective. However, the speaker overlooks the importance of the general education, which can also make the education effective. Besides,

Firstly, I define the education that is designed to meet the individual needs and interests as individual education.  Individual education can be effective for the reason that interests are the basic the motivation of human nature to learn. If a student do not have interests in a subject, it is entirely possible that he will fail in this subject. However,is the  interest the only factor that determines the education way? The answer is absolutely no. For example ,  education about eductionis very useful for a student to learn the computer knowledge, software development ,and internet information, which may be original purpose of educating a student. But in fact ,many students are especially interested in the computer games. Many of them are obsessed with computer games, which occupies most of his time. They are no longer like to study in the school. Obviouly, such education is not effective.

Therefore, only meeting the individual interests is not the sufficient. I think that individual education and general education are both necessary for making the education effective.  Basic and general education is a prerequisite for the everyone's education, because a student must learn some moral standard and basic learning skill to adapt to the society. The education designed to meet one's own needs can also be effective, because individual education can not only satisfy the student's interests,  but also can meet the need of the society. In modern society of china, job hunting becomes more and more difficult for the student, so individual education is the effective ways to solve this tough problem.

Finally, in different period of one's lifetime, the importance of two different education ways may be different.For a child, general education is more important, because they must learn some basic knowledge to let them to know what are their insterests. When they grow a little older,they will develop their interests, and make actions to make them into practice. When they are about to step into the society, individual education is more suitable for them. These knowledge will help them to face the difficult and dangrous situations in the society.

In sum, developing the interests which are useful in students's career ,is the effective way for education. In this process, students must learn the basic knowledge and moral standard, which are essential for developing interests and adapting to the society. Under these conditions , individual education can be effective.

[ 本帖最后由 jiangzuodong 于 2007-8-9 20:57 编辑 ]

nun318UID: 2205752

谢谢你给我的修改意见,不知道为什么你的第十次作业的帖子被关闭了,不能回复,只好将你的issue144的修改贴在这,希望大家共同提高!

nun318UID: 2205752

提纲：
1. 优秀的评论家给大众正确的导向。
2. 有些时候评论家并不能给作出客观的评价。
3. 真正的艺术是 艺术家和评论家共同努力的结果。
就整体而言,你的开头和结尾都说评论家也创造价值,但是论证的主体却没有将这一论点贯彻到底,相反批评评论家的段落倒是占了大半篇幅,还是应该有个侧重点比较好

issue144 It is the artist, not the critic, who gives society something of lasting value.
Who gives society some thing of lasting value, artist or critic? The speaker claims the former one. I agree with the speaker, but I think the critic also play an important part in the art area. In fact, both of them give the lasting value to the society.
Firstly, excellent critics is a touchstone for any art work . As is known to all, every art work must be valued by the public.(感觉这个地方有点绝对,事实上公众的审美往往不能鉴别出真正的艺术价值) The critics are the first group of audience to the work. Excellent(excellent用的有些重复,另外这个词不身就不是很好,可以考虑用其他词替换一下) critics  often have professional art knowledge and deep judgement level. Their criticisms often represent the view of the authority. (你这段的观点可能不大讨ETS的喜欢,大多数老外是讨厌权威的,尤其是在艺术这个比较开放和自由的领域)Their objective judgements give the public right direction to appreciate the art work. I can not imagine that unless the art work does be examined by the critcs, it can be called artwork.

However, in some circumstances, the critics can not make correct judgement. The first possible reason is that some critics with low moral standard and low art level often make  judgement on the art work. Their irresponsible behavior often meet their individual interests but severely harm the artist and give wrong information to the public. Another possible reason is that the art work created by the artist can not be appreciated by the contemporary critics.For example, Van Gogh, the founder of impressionism,  who hadn't become famous until his death. He  was once denied by the critics because his work was so original that the critics can not recognize them as the art.  Until now ,Sunflower was finally be recognized by some critics and he of course become one of the most famous artist of the world. (感觉你要论证的是评论家大正小负,可是这负的部分倒成了论证的最好的部分,喧宾夺主了)

Finally, in the effort of artist and the critic together, the lasting value can be shown to the society. After creating the art work, the artist may not know whether the work can make lasting value. The value of the artwork must be admitted by the critics. Often the criticism made by critic can help the artist  find the right direction to improve the work. So the critic and artist supplement each other.
字数上可以再多一点,另外语言可以借鉴范文上的语言作为模板
In sum, the speaker's view is too absolute.(这个表达有点不地道,可以换成the speaker overstates the importance of artist, at least to some extent) (However,)We can not ingore contribution  made by the critics to the art improvement. Although not all the critics are satisfied, we can not overlook the effort made by the critics(them).

rathgrrrUID: 2325643

嗯，好贴，关注中。。。