Argument234 AERO 小组习作

xuj401UID: 2434494

234.The following appeared in a newspaper feature story.

"There is now evidence that the relaxed manner of living in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Mason City. Furthermore, Leeville has only one
physician for its one thousand residents, but in Mason City the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. And the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Mason City residents. These findings suggest that people seeking longer and healthier lives should consider moving to small communities."



    The newspaper's findings give us an advice that peaple living in small towns could live longer and healther through showing us three evidence:1)the days for asking a leave in smaller town is fewer than the large city.2)the count of physicians in small communities is smaller than the big city's.3)the average age of Leeville residenta is longer than large city's.Closely scutiny each of these facts ,however,reveals that none of such evidences could lent the credible support to the recommendation.

    First,the finding provid us the primise that peaples in small town are healther than in big city's,therefore,it is nonesence to do such claimes that the time asking for leave is shorter.Furthermore,the findings could not provid us the confident evidence that such workers reaseached have not goldbricked in such reaserch.

    Secondly,the fact that Leeeville has only one physician could not certificate that the residents are healthy.Contrarily,such evidence might just indicate that the Leeville lacks of the doctor and peaple may have to see a doctor in other place further.See a doctor in a big city become conveniece by the reason of mason city's medical treatment more booming.

    Thirdly,the speaker hold that the average age of Leeville residents is obviously higher than big city's residents.Neverthness,maybe the old peaple would love to resident in the small city,therfore,undoubtly the average age certantly higher than big city's peaple 's,for the reason that the younger man have gonne to big city to earn living.

    In sum, the recommendation relies on certain doubtfull assumptions that render it unconvintion as it stands.The reader could not reach the clear evidence that it is surely benificial to resident in small town because of the reasons showed by newspaper.To bolser the recommendation,such facts should be given as follows:the mount of physician is only one just for the residence keeping well not because of other reason;the newspaper aslo should offer us that whether most of the residents in the town are old peaples.

beetle1986UID: 2431214

234.The following appeared in a newspaper feature story.

"There is now evidence that the relaxed manner of living in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Mason City. Furthermore, Leeville has only one
physician for its one thousand residents, but in Mason City the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. And the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Mason City residents. These findings suggest that people seeking longer and healthier lives should consider moving to small communities."

    The newspaper's findings give us an advice that people living in small towns could live longer and healthier through showing us three evidences:1)the days for asking a leave in smaller town is fewer than the large city.2)the count of physicians in small communities is smaller than the big city's.3)the average age of Leeville resident is longer than large city's(that of large city). Closely scrutiny each of these facts ,however, reveals that none of such evidences could lent the credible support to the recommendation.

    First, the finding provide us the primise that peaples in small town are healthier than in big city's, therefore, it is nonsense to do such claimes that the time asking for leave is shorter. Furthermore, the findings could not provid us the confident evidence that such workers researched have not goldbricked in such research.

    Secondly, the fact that Leeeville has only one physician could not certificate that the residents are healthy. Contrarily, such evidence might just indicate that the Leeville lacks of the doctor and people may have to see a doctor in other place further. See a doctor in a big city become convenience by the reason of mason city's medical treatment more booming.

    Thirdly,the speaker hold that the average age of Leeville residents is obviously higher than big city's residents.Neverthness,maybe the old peaple would love to resident in the small city,therfore,undoubtly the average age certantly higher than big city's peaple 's,for the reason that the younger man have gonne to big city to earn living.

    In sum, the recommendation relies on certain doubtful assumptions that render it unconvintion as it stands.The reader could not reach the clear evidence that it is surely benificial to resident in small town because of the reasons showed by newspaper.To bolser the recommendation,such facts should be given as follows:the mount of physician is only one just for the residence keeping well not because of other reason;the newspaper aslo should offer us that whether most of the residents in the town are old peaples.
你是用AWP写的作文吗？我用word打开，发现满眼的错别字。建议你先用word写作，等到一定水平后再用AWP模拟。
你的开头和结尾占了整篇文章的一半，而合理的布局应该是不超过三分之一。
建议先背几篇范文。有一些词组啊结构啊不要想当然，如果不能确定的话最好是看到范文里有，再套用。自己创造只会减分不会加分的。

wizardzUID: 2268761

    The newspaper's findings give us an advice that peaple living in small towns could live longer and healther through showing us three evidence:1)the days for asking a leave in smaller town is fewer than the large city.2)the count of physicians in small communities is smaller than the big city's.3)the average age of Leeville residenta is longer than large city's.Closely scutiny each of these facts ,however,reveals that none of such evidences could lent the credible support to the recommendation.

First,the finding provid us the primise that peaples in small town are healther than in big city's,therefore,it is nonesence to do such claimes that the time asking for leave is shorter.Furthermore,the findings could not provid us the confident evidence that such workers reaseached have not goldbricked in such reaserch.
这其实不是一个premise，而是该report的一个结论

Secondly,the fact that Leeeville has only one physician could not certificate that the residents are healthy.Contrarily,such evidence might just indicate that the Leeville lacks of the doctor and peaple may have to see a doctor in other place further.See a doctor in a big city become conveniece by the reason of mason city's medical treatment more booming.

    Thirdly,the speaker hold that the average age of Leeville residents is obviously higher than big city's residents.Neverthness,maybe the old peaple would love to resident in the small city,therfore,undoubtly the average age certantly higher than big city's peaple 's,for the reason that the younger man have gonne to big city to earn living.
这个反驳观点比较合理

In sum, the recommendation relies on certain doubtfull assumptions that render it unconvintion as it stands.The reader could not reach the clear evidence that it is surely benificial to resident in small town because of the reasons showed by newspaper.To bolser the recommendation,such facts should be given as follows:the mount of physician is only one just for the residence keeping well not because of other reason;the newspaper aslo should offer us that whether most of the residents in the town are old peaples

还是建议注意语法，最好自己先修正以下吧