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[i习作temp] issue5 |0806G-AW小组|第1次作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-1-5 02:17:30 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
issue5 |0806G-AW小组|第1次作业

Issue 5

In general, I agree the assertion that unified curriculum design should be required in all the schools in all parts of nation until students enter the college. The national education aims at fostering his people, and makes them more committed to the society; therefore, different types of experts are needed. Moreover, the curriculum design is a part of national education. The national government should offer the unified course.

The chief reason why I generally agree with the issue has to do with the quality insurance of unified curriculums. National government has responsibility to provide a high quality education to the citizens. And a qualified curriculum design is a significant part in it. In my opinion, there is two purpose of national education before students go to college. First, the students should have basic acknowledge of various subjects. Second, students should practically use all kinds of study skills such as listening, reading, speaking and thinking. Students learn knowledge from a wide range of courses and practice the skills in these curriculums. It means that rational curriculum design is very important. The national government should design rational and qualified curriculum, because they control more education resources and know more education information than the government in each part of the nation.

A second reason why I fundamentally agree the statement has to do with the education fair. Although teachers in each part are different, unified curriculum offer an equal starting point to students no matter what part are they in? Moreover, unified university entrance examinations should be offered ascribe to unified curriculum. It is also reflecting the education fair. If the nation allows schools determine the academe courses, different parts will have different level of curriculum design attribute to different education level and different resources in each part. How to test and use what standard to choose students will become a big problem.

A third reason for my agreement to this statement is that, unified curriculum reduces the cost of the curriculum design. Different curriculum leads to waste a large quotation of papers to produce different course books. Different university entrance examination attribute to different academe courses in different parts also enlarge the education costs in the aspects of how to test and how to choose students to each college.

In sum, the statement is fundamentally correct. Because of the insurance of the curriculum design, because of the education fair, and the cost reducing, the national unified curriculum should be require to use in all parts of the nation.

结构仿照北美

迟交了 请大家猛拍!!!!!!
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发表于 2008-1-6 23:37:41 |只看该作者

没有经验,多多包涵

In general, I agree the assertion that unified(uniform?) curriculum design should be required in all the schools in all parts of nation until students enter the college. The national education aims at fostering his people, and makes them more committed to the society; therefore, different types of experts are needed.(没有看出来这和前面的陈述有因果关系) Moreover, the curriculum design is a part of national education.没有看出递进关紧) The national government should offer the unified course.

The chief reason why I generally agree with the issue has to do with the quality insurance of unified curriculums(复数是curricula吗). National government has responsibility to provide a high quality education to the citizens. And a qualified curriculum design is a significant part in it. In my opinion, there is two purpose of national education before students go to college. First, the students should have basic acknowledge(fundamental knowledge) of various subjects.

Second, students should practically use all kinds of study skills such as listening, reading, speaking and thinking. Students learn knowledge from a wide range of courses and practice the skills in these curriculums. It means that rational curriculum design is very important. The national government should design rational and qualified curriculum, because they control more education resources and know more education information than the government in each part of the nation.这个段落的论据不太能够支持要论证的topic sentence, 既然要论证国家能够保证课程质量,那就要说明地方和国家的不同条件等,但是你的说明却放在课程对于学生的意义上了,然后得出意义重大,所以国家要开设高质量课程,因为国家有责任、有必要开设高质量课程,所以国家就能保证课程的高质量,这个逻辑你觉得妥当吗?)
A second reason why I fundamentally agree the statement has to do with the education fair.equality Although teachers in each part are different, unified curriculum offer an equal starting point to students no matter whatpart are they in?which part Moreover, unified university entrance examinations should be offered ascribe to unified curriculum. It is also reflecting the education fair. If the nation allows schools determine the academe courses, different parts will have different level of curriculum design attribute to different education level and different resources in each part. How to test and use what standard to choose students will become a big problem.

A third reason for my agreement to this statement is that, unified curriculum reduces the cost of the curriculum design. Different curriculum leads to waste a large quotation of papers to produce different course books.(不管是否全国统一教材,学生人数不会减少,复印的纸张数量也不会减少,书的本数也不会较少,如果能节俭的话,勉强可能因为同一的教材比较薄) Different university entrance examination attribute to different academe courses in different parts also enlarge the education costs in the aspects of how to test and how to choose students to each college.

In sum, the statement is fundamentally correct. Because of the insurance of the curriculum design, because of the education fair, and the cost reducing, the national unified curriculum should be require to use in all parts of the nation.

总体看来,你作为支撑的观点并不是很有利,尤其到具体论述的时候,论据的逻辑或是论据本身存在问题。首段虽然陈述了观点,但是其他语言没有对观点形成一定解释,看不出有什么作用,第二段的论述逻辑上不能成立。第三段的观点似乎有浓郁的“中国”印象,不知道外国人能不能理解,尤其是大学招生的公平问题。第四段的论据也有问题。结尾有些生硬。



[ 本帖最后由 Northeast-Wind 于 2008-1-7 00:55 编辑 ]

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RE: issue5 |0806G-AW小组|第1次作业 [修改]

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