Aero 第五次作业 Argument8

sheldenUID: 2338299

ARGUMENT8 - The following appeared in a memorandum issued by the strategic planning department at Omni Inc.

"Mesa Foods, a manufacturer of snack foods that currently markets its products within a relatively small region of the country, has strong growth potential. Mesa enjoyed a 20 percent increase in profits last year, and its best-selling product, Diabolique Salsa, has had increased sales over each of the past three years. Since Omni Inc. is interested in reaching 14-to-25 year olds, the age group that consumes the most snack food, we should buy Mesa Foods, and concentrate in particular on marketing Diabolique Salsa throughout the country."

In this memo, the author who is from the strategic planning department at Omni Inc suggests to buy Mesa Foods and market Diabolique Salsa (DS). To support his suggestion, he cites the increase profits of Mesa Foods and its best-selling product DS has had increased sales for three years. However, close scrutiny into these facts reveals that none of them lend a substantiated support to the author's advice.

Firstly, he unfairly assumes that the Mesa enjoyed a 20 percent increase in profits last year means that it would continue this trend in the future. It is possible that the increase is due to some special event, such as there was a nationwide celebration of Children's Day held in this small region and the snack food was popular during that year which leads the profit of Mesa Foods higher than usual. After all, without mention ample evidence of historical data of Mesa's profit, the author should not suggest to buy it only due to the situation last year.

Secondly, even if the Mesa has enjoyed increase in profits for many years, its best-selling product, DS, may not bring income for the company. The author only cites that DS had increased sales without telling us the cost of production. So there is a probability that this product is used only to improve the image of Mesa Foods and to occupy the market. In fact, DS's sales are lower than the cost which means it could not make money at all. In that case, there is no need to market DS throughout the country.

Even assuming that the DS indeed bring profit to Mesa, the author suffers from a false analogy from a small region to the whole country. As the author said, Mesa Food is a manufacturer of snack foods markets its products within a relatively small region of the country. So it is possible that this company understands the people's favor and interest clearly in this place, and this favor is so particular that people living in other places dislike it at all. Under that circumstance, there will be a waste to buy Mesa Foods, let alone marketing DS through out the country.

Finally, the author supplies no evidence about Omni Inc. Is it a steel manufacturer, a hospital, a school or something else? Without ample information about Omni Inc, perhaps that it does not need to buy Mesa Foods because it would disturb its own system. Also, the author fails to provide some other alternatives for making profit. Lacking in other choices, the author could not draw conclusion so early because maybe there is better one.

All in all, this memo is unconvincing as it stands. To better support his recommendation, the author should provide us more details of the Mesa Foods. To better evaluate this issue, I need some other alternatives and more details of DS and also some information of the small region where Mesa Foods markets its products in.

saavedroUID: 2423190

ARGUMENT8 - The following appeared in a memorandum issued by the strategic planning department at Omni Inc.

"Mesa Foods, a manufacturer of snack foods that currently markets its products within a relatively small region of the country, has strong growth potential. Mesa enjoyed a 20 percent increase in profits last year, and its best-selling product, Diabolique Salsa, has had increased sales over each of the past three years. Since Omni Inc. is interested in reaching 14-to-25 year olds, the age group that consumes the most snack food, we should buy Mesa Foods, and concentrate in particular on marketing Diabolique Salsa throughout the country."

看作者的行文应该是限时写作吧？？？

In this memo, the author who is from the strategic planning department at Omni Inc suggests to buy Mesa Foods and market Diabolique Salsa (DS). To support his suggestion, he cites the increase profits of Mesa Foods and its best-selling product DS has had increased sales for three years. However, close scrutiny into these facts reveals(ing) that none of them lend a substantiated support to the author's advice.(开头写的不错啊，这在限时的实战中，即简洁又到位且省时间）

Firstly, he unfairly assumes that the Mesa enjoyed a 20 percent increase in profits last year means that it would continue this trend（+constantly) in the future. It is possible that the increase is due to some special event(s), such as there was a nationwide celebration of Children's Day held in this small region and (删除and 用，then)the snack food was popular during that year which leads the profit of Mesa Foods higher than usual（level). After all, without mention ample evidence of historical data of Mesa's profit, the author should not suggest to buy it (just)only due to the situation last year.

Secondly, even if the Mesa has enjoyed increase in profits for many years, its best-selling product, DS, may not bring income for the company. The author only cites that DS had increased sales without telling us the cost of production. So there is a probability that this product is used only to improve the image of Mesa Foods and(删除and,用since it occupied in the market.) to occupy the market.(这句话似乎有些问题，如果楼主想说：这完全有可能是该产品能提高MESA FOODS只是作为一贯的设想，自从它投放市场以来） In fact, DS's sales are lower than the cost which means it could not make money at all. In that case, there is no need to market(promote) DS throughout the country.

Even assuming that the DS indeed bring profit to Mesa, the author suffers from a false analogy from a small region to the whole country. As the author said, Mesa Food is a manufacturer of snack foods markets its products within a relatively small region of the country. So it is possible that this company understands the people's favor and interest clearly in this place, and this favor is so particular that people living in other places dislike it at all. Under that circumstance, there will be a（significant) waste to buy Mesa Foods, let alone marketing DS through out the country.

Finally, the author supplies no evidence about Omni Inc. Is it a steel manufacturer, a hospital, a school or something else? Without ample information about Omni Inc, perhaps that it does not need to(用necessarily，和前面的同义替换) buy Mesa Foods because it would disturb its own system. Also, the author fails to provide some other alternatives for making profit. Lacking in other choices, the author could not draw conclusion so early(,) because maybe there is（+not) better one.

All in all, this memo is unconvincing as it stands. To better support his recommendation, the author should provide us more details of the Mesa Foods. To better evaluate this issue???这里有问题啊）, I need some other alternatives and more details of DS and also some information of the small region where Mesa Foods markets its products in.


由于是限时写作，写成这样确实不容易了。三个逻辑错误找到的都很准确，另外建议还是要把时间掌握好，最好再三个逻辑错误中找一个出来详述一下，三个段落应该有详有略，这样才得体，另外语言上错误也比较少，我读起来还算比较通顺。只是因为限时所以有很多词汇用的都很平平无奇，建议作者还是要多准备一些华丽的频用词汇到时候往上写一写，还能显示出语言的风采，因为我读过楼主以前的ARGU似乎是没有限时的时候，那篇文章里头的用词好多都是不错的，但是好像是字数不够的那个。呵呵

佳句摘录：1.So there is a probability that this product is used only to improve the image of Mesa Foods since it has occupied in the market.这完全有可能是该产品能提高MESA FOODS只是作为一贯的设想，自从它投放市场以来.
词汇：   dislike   = find this repulsive         

[ 本帖最后由 saavedro 于 2008-1-12 20:08 编辑 ]