argument59 飞越dreams小组第2次作业

gre_killer_wuUID: 2451830

argument59 飞越dreams小组第2次作业 by gre_killer_wu

Argument 59
The following appeared in an article in the health section of a newspaper.

"According to the available medical records, the six worst worldwide flu epidemics during the past 300 years occurred in 1729, 1830, 1918, 1957, 1968, and 1977. These were all years with heavy sunspot activity-that is, years when the Earth received significantly more solar energy than in normal years. People at particular risk for the flu should therefore avoid prolonged exposure to the Sun."

字数：426            时间：50分钟

In this article, the author concludes here that People at particular risk for the flu should therefore avoid prolonged exposure to the Sun. The author cites medical records for the past 300 years. The records show that the six worst worldwide flu epidemics during the past 300 years occurred in 1729, 1830, 1918, 1957, 1968, and 1977, during which heavy sunspot activity took place. However, the article suffers from several flaws, which render the author’s conclusion unconvincing.

To begin with, the author has not convinced me that the six worldwide flu epidemics mentioned above has a strong correlation with heavy sunspot activity. It is entirely possible that heavy sunspot activities during the past 300 years happened not only in the six years mentioned above, but in many other years. If this is the true, the author has not proof the strong correlation between serious worldwide flu epidemics and heavy sunspot activity actually, not saying about the causal relation between them.

Even if heavy sunspot activities during the past 300 years happened only in the very six years, the author shows no evidence that the serious worldwide flu epidemics are caused at lease partially by the heavy sunspot activities. Whether most people involving in the flu exposed too long to the Sun is not clear to us, and many other reasons may account for the flu, such as the migrating of people, the abnormal climate in a particular year, or a fashionable live style during a short period.

Even if heavy sunspot activities during the past 300 years happened only in the very six years and the flu are caused partially by the heavy sunspot activities, before the mechanism of the causal relationship between heavy sunspot activity and flu is clearly studied, the author can not concludes that avoiding prolonged exposure to the Sun will be effective in forestalling the happen of flu. As is known to all, light is only one constitutional part of solar energy, other parts of solar energy includes the magnic wave, rays of various kinds. The author has not justified that the flu dues only to the light, not the magnic wave or the rays. Thus, staying at home may not be effective to reduce the incidence of flu, for the magnic wave and some of the rays can pass through the wall.

In summary, the absence of some crucial evidences which show that the strong correlation between the flu and heavy sunspot activity make the article untenable. To make it acceptable, I want to know other possible reasons for the flu.

[ 本帖最后由 gre_killer_wu 于 2008-1-29 16:00 编辑 ]

neomaverickUID: 2449179

In this article, the author concludes here that People at particular risk for the flu should therefore avoid prolonged exposure to the Sun. The author cites medical records for the past 300 years. The records show that the six worst worldwide flu epidemics during the past 300 years occurred in 1729, 1830, 1918, 1957, 1968, and 1977, during which heavy sunspot activity took place. （Too long! Solution:The records show that the six worst worldwide flu epidemics during the pass 300 years happened in the exact years with heavy sunspot activity.）However, the article suffers from several flaws, which render the author’s conclusion unconvincing.To begin with, the author has not convinced me that the six worldwide flu epidemics mentioned above has a strong correlation with heavy sunspot activity. It is entirely possible that heavy sunspot activities during the past 300 years happened not only in the six years mentioned above, but in many other years. If this is the true, the author has not proof (does not demonstrate that) the (delete it) strong correlation (exists) between serious worldwide flu epidemics and heavy sunspot activity actually, not saying about (not to mention) the causal relation between them.
// the above paragraph focus on the possibility that strong sunspot activity happened in other years, with no flu reported, yet.
Even if heavy sunspot activities during the past 300 years happened only in the very six years (good), the author shows no evidence that the serious worldwide flu epidemics are caused at lease (least) partially by the heavy sunspot activities. Whether most people involving in (suffered) the flu exposed too long to the Sun is not clear to us, and many other reasons may account for the flu, such as the migrating of people, the abnormal climate in a particular year, or a fashionable live style during a short period.
// sunspot activity aren’t responsible for flu for no detailed evidence provided
Even if heavy sunspot activities during the past 300 years happened only in the very six years and the flu are caused partially by the heavy sunspot activities, before the mechanism of the causal relationship between heavy sunspot activity and flu is clearly studied, the author can not concludes that avoiding prolonged exposure to the Sun will be effective in forestalling the happen of flu. (So long, just for repeating the conclusion. Now I understand why your article contains over 400 words while I can’t). As is known to all, light is only one constitutional part of solar energy, other parts of solar energy includes the magnic wave, rays of various kinds. The author has not justified that the flu dues only to the light, not the magnic wave or the rays. Thus, staying at home may not be effective to reduce the incidence of flu, for the magnic wave and some of the rays can pass through the wall.
// I don’t think this paragraph is reasonable. First, do you want to say that magnetic wave may also contribute to the case of flu? However, I should say, that light is a combine of electric and magnetic wave. Besides, the “light” here may indicate both visible light and invisible light (such as microwave). Avoiding sunshine, as I perceived, just means avoiding all radio rays (light and other electric and magnetic waves included). So, the approach may seems reliable if flu is really caused by over exposure to the sun.
In summary, the absence of some crucial evidences which show that the strong correlation between the flu and heavy sunspot activity make(makes) the article untenable. To make it acceptable, I want to know other possible reasons for the flu.
//It seems you have either no patience or no time in finishing the last paragraph.

Suggestions
1.      I strongly recommend that the you should review your article after your finishing your writing. (Judging from some spelling mistake(magnic ,for example), you may not even use Microsoft word to check the simplest mistakes. I urge you to value everyone else’ time in correcting your work. Excepting from spelling mistakes, you have obligation in perfect your article before handing it over. After reciprocal correction is just an secondary approach in improving your writing, you are the main character in the task of advance your article.
2.      the author is much better than my former counterpart, but the reasoning is sometimes lacking credibility. Please seize the critical problem, rather than just adding your words.

希望你也能来拍我的！

syjsss213UID: 2415289

In this article, the author concludes here that People at particular risk for the flu should therefore avoid prolonged exposure to the Sun. The author cites medical records for the past 300 years. The records show that the six worst worldwide flu epidemics during the past 300 years occurred in 1729, 1830, 1918, 1957, 1968, and 1977, during which heavy sunspot activity took place. However, the article suffers from several flaws, which render the author’s conclusion unconvincing.


To begin with, the author has not convinced me that the six worldwide flu epidemics mentioned above has a strong correlation with heavy sunspot activity. It is entirely possible that heavy sunspot activities during the past 300 years happened not only in the six years mentioned above, but in many other years. If this is the true, the author has not proof the strong correlation between serious worldwide flu epidemics and heavy sunspot activity actually, not saying about the causal relation between them.


Even if heavy sunspot activities during the past 300 years happened only in the very six years, the author shows no evidence that the serious worldwide flu epidemics are caused at lease partially by the heavy sunspot activities. Whether most people involving in the flu exposed too long to the Sun is not clear to us, and many other reasons may account for the flu, such as the migrating（migration，能用名词尽量还是用名词，GRE的名词化趋势） of people, the abnormal climate in a particular year, or a fashionable live style during a short period.（这一段的三个他因归纳得很好）


Even if heavy sunspot activities during the past 300 years happened only in the very six years and the flu are caused partially by the heavy sunspot activities, before the mechanism of the causal relationship between heavy sunspot activity and flu is clearly studied, the author can not concludes that avoiding prolonged exposure to the Sun will be effective（reveals effectiveness还是名词化趋势） in forestalling the happen of flu. As is known to all, light is only one constitutional part of solar energy, other parts of solar energy includes the magnic wave, rays of various kinds. The author has not justified that the flu dues only to（due to 是副词，等于because of 以后使用的时候要注意） the light, not the magnic wave or the rays. Thus, staying at home may not be effective to reduce the incidence of flu, for the magnic wave and some of the rays can pass through the wall.



In summary, the absence of some crucial evidences which show that the strong correlation between the flu and heavy sunspot activity make the article untenable. To make it acceptable, I want to know other possible reasons for the flu.



楼上的同志是程序员吗？对光的解释很有水准~~光的确是各种电磁波（electromagnetic wave）的集合，不过太阳光中的确有些成分可以穿过墙壁，比如中子束（neutron current？大概是这么翻译的）
楼上说过的我不重复了，感觉你语言提高了很多~