issue138【0806G-永不言弃小组】第9次作业 by worldbaby

worldbabyUID: 2272889

issue138【0806G-永不言弃小组】第9次作业 by worldbaby
"Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress."
Data: 2008-01-30  Words: 529   Time: 21:14-22:24
compendium:
(1)        错误是不可避免的。一是科学发展的局限。人类的认知是有限的，It is probably that the next step is wrong which is based on the wrongly- directed experience.二是不可能避免错误，if every step people tried is correct, it is a query that whether the world is a circumstance where any correct concept does exist.
(2)        错误带来进步。一是错误让我们找到合适的方法。比如Edison的 filament。比如Nobel的explosive。二是错误让我们找到合适自己的领域。
(3)        过度认可错误带来进步会有两种后果
(4)        Only过于绝对，错误是可以避免的。并不是所有的成功都是建立再犯错误的基础上的。比如事前的信息收集，成功的经验借鉴。比如对一些错误的总结。
As the saying goes, failure is the mother of success. And mistakes are ineluctable under the incessant changing circumstances. People, no matter belong to the genius or the commons, surely experienced the process which derived from failure and finally reach the success. As a result, it is fair that the lessons coming from mistakes lead to the success, however,  granting the opposite causal relationship is not convincing.
In the first place, mistakes are unavoidable when seeking to the progress and discovery. On the one hand, because of the limited technological development, mistakes come to being naturally. From the ancient times, when our ancestors accumulated living experience and knowledge through tremendous errors they have made, to the contemporary times, when the scientific skills dominate our way of life, to which the human being face, it is a undeniable fact that technological development are not capable to solve all the problems. On the other hand, mistakes are ineluctable when considering the following logical analyses. Assuming that there is no mistake in the world, a query raise that whether is a correct concept at all existed, since every step people take are out of question. Consequently, mistakes are companions on the way to success.
Secondly, whether mistakes are effective relies on the way people treat it. My point is that mistakes can lead to progress. Failure owns its origin, and the correct way of exploiting it is to find out reasons to which those failures contribute, causing people can avoid such mistakes through keeping away from the same trace. Namely, with the help the experience gaining from the wrong processes and the innovation intrigued by the mistakes, people can finally work out the solutions to the problems. For instance, Nobel, the inventor of the explosive, gave birth to the advent of explosive after nearly 400 times of failure. It is also true of Edison, who tested countless materials for filament and the suitable material  was discovered at last with the experience learned from past and the efforts in combating failure. So making mistakes is a necessary phase preceding success. Beside this, mistakes are also useful when people searching for their compatible area. No one is born to be others. Those who successfully match their ability with career areas presents a generally useful suggestion that the only opportunity to enter into your fantastic area is keeping persistent trying, and then mistakes can lead you to the entrance of compatible filed.
Last but not least, although mistakes are doomed to occur and play a significant role in making progress, there is no evident that only mistakes can there be discovery, since it is too absolute to use the terminology “only”. Such proposition aforementioned will incur two ludicrous possibilities, one is the indulgence of committing incessant mistakes comfortably and then scarcely reflect opportune change of fresh or innovative way; the other is that the magnanimous tolerance for mistakes-making.
In a word, mistakes are unavoidable and sometimes act positively. It is worthy pointing that not all the success are based on man-made mistakes, the rate of failing can be reduced by such methods as collecting information in front of action, borrowing successful experiences of other successors.

坚果弟弟UID: 2327827

As the saying goes, failure is the mother of success. And mistakes are ineluctable under the incessant changing circumstances.@ People, no matter（可以这样用？） belong to the genius or the commons, surely experienced the process which derived from failure and finally reach the success（改用from failure to success）. As a result, it is fair that the lessons coming from mistakes lead to the success, however, granting the opposite causal relationship is not convincing.（第一段由于是提出本文总的观点，所以不必要把@句写进去，建议将该句写在后文中可以作个论据展开写，效果好，而且用as a result也感觉不妥，第一段只需陈述，不必解释。）
In the first place, mistakes are unavoidable when seeking to the progress and discovery. On the one hand, because of(owing to) the limited technological development, mistakes come to being naturally. From the ancient times, when our ancestors accumulated living experience and knowledge through tremendous errors they have made, to the contemporary times, when the scientific skills dominate our way of life, to which the human being face, it is a undeniable fact that technological development are not capable to solve all the problems(感觉从from起这段论证与本文联系有些牵强，建议去掉) On the other hand, mistakes are ineluctable when considering the following logical analyses. Assuming that there is no mistake in the world, a query raise that whether is a correct concept at all existed, since every step people take are out of question. Consequently, mistakes are companions on the way to success.
Secondly, whether mistakes are effective relies on the way people treat it. My point is that mistakes can lead to progress. Failure owns its origin, and the correct way of exploiting it is to find out reasons to which those failures contribute（逻辑有错误，改成that contribute to those failures）, causing(感觉这个词的用作贬义，用making怎样) people can avoid such mistakes through keeping away from the same trace. Namely, with the help the experience gaining from the wrong processes and the innovation intrigued by the mistakes, people can finally work out the solutions to the problems. For instance, Nobel, the inventor of the explosive, gave birth to the advent of explosive after nearly 400 times of failure. It is also true of Edison, who tested countless materials for filament and the suitable material  was discovered at last with the experience learned from past and the efforts in combating failure. So making mistakes is a necessary phase preceding success. Beside this, mistakes are also useful when people searching for their compatible area. No one is born to be others. Those who successfully match their ability with career areas presents a generally useful suggestion that the only opportunity to enter into your fantastic area is keeping persistent trying, and then mistakes can lead you to the entrance of compatible filed.
Last but not least, although mistakes are doomed to occur and play a significant role in making progress, there is no evident（evidence） that only mistakes can there be discovery, since it is too absolute to use the terminology “only”. Such proposition aforementioned will incur two ludicrous possibilities, one is the indulgence of committing incessant mistakes comfortably and then scarcely reflect opportune change of fresh or innovative way; the other is that the magnanimous tolerance for mistakes-making. (感觉这两句写得很精彩，词汇量很丰富)
In a word, mistakes are unavoidable and sometimes act positively. It is worthy pointing that not all the success are based on man-made mistakes, the rate of failing can be reduced by such methods as collecting information in front of action, borrowing successful experiences of other successors.

sunwei0UID: 2227404

issue138【0806G-永不言弃小组】第9次作业 by worldbaby
"Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress."
Data: 2008-01-30  Words:529   Time: 21:14-22:24
compendium:
(1)        错误是不可避免的。一是科学发展的局限。人类的认知是有限的，It is probably that the next step is wrong which is based on the wrongly- directed experience.二是不可能避免错误，if every step people tried is correct, it is a query that whether the world is a circumstance where any correct concept does exist.
(2)        错误带来进步。一是错误让我们找到合适的方法。比如Edison的 filament。比如Nobel的explosive。二是错误让我们找到合适自己的领域。
(3)        过度认可错误带来进步会有两种后果
(4)        Only过于绝对，错误是可以避免的。并不是所有的成功都是建立再犯错误的基础上的。比如事前的信息收集，成功的经验借鉴。比如对一些错误的总结。

As the saying goes, failure is the mother of success. And mistakes are ineluctable under the incessant changing circumstances. People, no matter belong to the genius or the commons, surely experienced the process which derived from failure and finally reach the success. As a result, it is fair that the lessons coming from mistakes lead to the success,however, granting the opposite causal relationship is not convincing.

In the first place, mistakes are unavoidable when seeking to the progress and discovery. On the one hand, because of the limited technological development,mistakes come to being naturally. From the ancient times, when our ancestors accumulated living experience and knowledge through tremendous errors they have made, to the contemporary times, when the scientific skills dominate our way of life, to which the human being face, it is a undeniable fact that technological development are not capable to solve all the problems. On the other hand,mistakes are ineluctable when considering the following logical analyses.Assuming that there is no mistake in the world, a query raise that whether is a correct concept at all existed, since every step people take are out of question. Consequently, mistakes are companions on the way to success.

Secondly, whether mistakes are effective relies on the way people treat it. My point is that mistakes can lead to progress. Failure owns its origin, and the correct way of exploiting it is to find out reasons to which those failures contribute, causing people can avoid such mistakes through keeping away from the same trace. Namely, with the help the experience gaining from the wrong processes and the innovation intrigued by the mistakes, people can finally workout the solutions to the problems. For instance, Nobel, the inventor of the explosive, gave birth to the advent of explosive after nearly 400 times of failure. It is also true of Edison, who tested countless materials for filament and the suitable material was discovered at last with the experience learned from past and the efforts in combating failure. So making mistakes is a necessary phase preceding success. Beside this, mistakes are also useful when people searching for their compatible area. No one is born to be others. Those who successfully match their ability with career areas presents a generally useful suggestion that the only opportunity to enter into（enter是及物动词吧） your fantastic area is keeping persistent trying, and then mistakes can lead you to the entrance of compatible filed.

Last but not least, although mistakes are doomed to occur and play a significant role in making progress, there is no evident(evidence) that only mistakes can there be discovery, since it is too absolute to use the terminology “only”. Such proposition aforementioned will incur two ludicrous possibilities, one is the indulgence of committing incessant mistakes comfortably and then scarcely reflect opportune change of fresh or innovative way; the other is that the magnanimous tolerance for mistakes-making.

In a word, mistakes are unavoidable and sometimes act positively. It is worthy pointing that not all the success are based on man-made mistakes, the rate of failing can be reduced by such methods as collecting information in front of action, borrowing successful experiences of other successors.

正如你在倒数第二段中所说的一样，这是一个过于绝对化的题目。对于这种题目，完全赞同或者完全反对都是不合适的，因此这种文章的写法通常也就只有一种，就是先表示赞同非绝对化的部分，再让步说即便这样绝对化也是错误的。很明显，写这种题目的重点部分不是在前面赞同的部分，而是在后面反驳绝对化的地方。这道题你在提纲里说的基本没问题，前两段正，后两段反，不过在文章里合成了一段，而且太简练了。

文章里面用词用句的问题我就不多说了，这里我只想说一说整体构架的问题。在肯定错误可以带来进步的时候，有两点是一定要说的，一是错误不可能避免，二是错误是如何带来进步的。

第一点你在正文第一段已经说了。你在提纲中列出了两点，一是从技术和知识的局限上来说明错误不可避免，二是从逻辑上反证来说明错误不可避免。其中你似乎是要说假设可以不犯错误的话，世上所有的概念就都是对的了。这其中有逻辑矛盾吗？就算把第二点中的逻辑理顺了，它能和第一点构成并列关系吗？

在正文第二段中，应该把重点放到解释错误是如何带来进步的，其中第一点可以改写为错误有借鉴功能，正如你在这段第三句中写的，他可以防止人们再次犯同样的错误。关于例子可以考虑二战胜利纪念日，另外知名企业之中也有很多在失败中吸取教训而获得成功的例子。第二点关于职业领域选择的例子可以删掉，这和本段主题关系不大。关于篇幅的问题不用担心，毕竟重点在后面，前面这两段用简洁的语言说明白就行了。

反述的部分写成一段还是两段都是可以的。第一句中用no evidence 来反驳是不合适的，“证据不足”这在argue中也是最弱的一种反驳方式，更何况在issue中了。与其这么说还不如直接指出”only”是错误的，然后举反例更有效一点。后面写的过度放大错误在推动进步中的作用所可能导致的后果，里面那两条我怎么看着觉得都是再说一个意思啊，都是让人可以肆意犯错。以我的看法，这里也确实可以写成两点，第一点就把你所说的两点合成一个，说这会让人肆意犯错，甚至舍本逐末的去追求错误而不是成功。第二点可以阐述对经济社会的影响。再说这两点的时候如果能举例最好，就算不能举例也要展开细致分析。

在看了ETS的官方满分范文之后，我觉得想要得高分只有好的词句是根本不行的，就算有严谨的逻辑也不够，必须要有较为深刻的思想内涵。加油吧！